Monday, February 26, 2007


I realized tonight that I am actually off both jobs tomorrow. I also realized that this saddens me. I am giving anyone who actually still reads this a mission: help me find a reason to get out of bed tomorrow. There's a reasonable chance I won't otherwise.

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Employee of the Month

My big fat Greek boss at the Cardinal once said that my accent was "Pompous", but then ran and grabbed his English phrase book when I gave him a funny look.

Once my Camp Director at Lakewood finished my summer performance review with "But I'm still glad you were on staff this summer."

Let's face it, bosses say stupid things sometimes.

But yesterday oh yesterday.

I was faint at work a few days ago and yesterday my boss at the Jade Garden asked me if I had gone to see the doctor. I explained that I was on some meds that occassionally make me very dizzy and that I was going to see the doctor in a few weeks anyways. She asked me what the meds were for and I declined to comment, which I think is perfectly fair, but she followed up with "Are they affecting your head?" I took this to mean "Do you get headaches?". I said "Yes sometimes" she responded, "Yes you see I notice. I see you are nice person... like I think you are good person, but it seems like there is something wrong with your head."

I seriously hope nothing ever tops that.

Saturday, February 17, 2007

We don't want no Mac and Cheese! Hey Dalton- reduce the fees!

I think LU would run much more effectively if every Board of Governors meeting happened like this:

*stolen from The Northern Life

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Advice to live your life

So you want to have the best Valentines Day possible? Well here are the three ways you can increase your Valentines Day pleasure. Accoring to University educated Symbologist Liz Buchanan the best way to have the best Valentines Day is to

ONE: Hit John Tesh very hard with a large blunt object. If there are no blunt objects available try a good old fashion punch to the face. He will not strike first as he is only capable of punching the first verb in every sentence.

TWO: When he regains consciousness explain to him (and Dr. Phil should time permit) that not every problem can be solved with a sound-bite intended for small child.

THREE: If that doesn't work try hitting him with the large blunt object again. Redundancy is very important on the John Tesh radio show, and saying the same thing over again in a slightly different way is key to patronizing listeners.

So to summarize: large blunt object, a good talking to and repeat large blunt object. This is 100% guarunteed to help you live a long life and impress your co-workers. Just tell them you heard it here, on Liz Buchanan's blog. The most credible source for pulling random thoughts out of my ass and holding them up on a pedestal as a way to live your life.

"One oh five point three... one oh five point three..."

Saturday, February 10, 2007

Breaking News: The Second Coming!

You might call it tabloid reporting, but I am positive that this picture proves once and for all, what rock critics have been saying all along...

Get behind me Satan!

Thursday, February 08, 2007

Sentenced to finish this quiz...

because what else would I do with my day off?

1. I've come to realize that my ex is... one of the only people reading this

2. I am listening to... my computer humming

3. I talk … constantly

4. I love… theatre. Sometimes I think that it does not love me back.

5. My best friends... are all moving to France.

7. I lost... "it". I swear I once had it.

8. I hate it when people... wake me up purring at 6:30AM and then pee on the carpet anyways later in the afternoon- oh wait that's cats.

9. Love is... not love which alters when it alteration finds... (finish that and win 10000 Liz points)

10. Marriage is… defined as a union between a man and a woman, a man and a man, a woman and a woman or a conservative and their ignorance.

11. Somewhere, someone is thinking... I'm sure I can lick my elbow if I try hard enough.

12. I'll always be... short!

13. I have a crush on... my boyfriend: Ewan McGreggor

14. The last time I cried was because... my tear ducts realeased liquid.

15. My cell phone… is actually making my life a lot easier.

16. When I wake up in the morning... I try to convince myself there's a reason to get out of bed.

17. Before I go to sleep at night... I spend numerous hours rolling around (I'm battling a little insomnia at the moment)

18. Right now I am thinking about... not having to work tonight. It's making me happy.

19. Babies are... little miracles. Scientifically explicable, completely common, generally unsurprising miracles.

20. I get on myspace... and then remember that I don't have a myspace account.

21. Today I... went to the school to do a bunch of paper work/picking up stuff/making appointments.

22. Tonight I will... watch a movie perhaps.

23. Soon I will... eat.

24. I really want... nothing at all. I think that happens at the other end of inner-peace spectrum as well.

25. The person who is most likely to repost this... Andrew but he will probably steal it from someone else's site. And it will probably take a few days.

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Sleep will come soon...

Hello all...

I do still exist. To many, my apologies for not being able to take part in the day of action as I was starting a new job (#3, although this is the first one with any reliability!) and to others simply apologies if I was supposed to remember to do something for you or call you or something. I suck. And I don't sleep anymore. Seriously I get like 2 hours a night. I have this combination of working everyday and insomnia. I think I might be going totally insane. At least I am no longer embaressingly poor! Soon I will even have my bills caught up.

My new job you ask? I'm working at Zellers. It's actually really great. The training program is excellent and they treat you like a real human being coming to work for them. I am starting to get the hang of the cash, and once I do it should get a lot easier from here on out.

And now, senseless violence:

Thursday, February 01, 2007

"Oh Good"

I'm sorry. The angry rant is gone now.

Yipes. Needless drama.


You will not believe what I just came across:

Sweet Jesus. The Mooninites are attacking!

"Earthling and your puny 3 dimensions"