Monday, November 26, 2007

The DaVinci Codex

I have made a startling discovery. While many are now aware of the new theories surrounding the "Quest for the Holy Grail" (that being; that the incorrect interpretation of sangrail "san grail" is not actually meant "holy grail" but "sang rail" or "royal blood"). A similiar revelation has come forth about the online community and the quest for the holy website.

For years now we, in the online community, have been striving to create websites that are entertaining, funny, perhaps informative, but we have been lead astray. You see the ancient term WEBLOG has been misinterpretted now for many years to mean "we blog". Thus suggesting that in order to achieve the truly enlightened web page we must all create blogs.
I however, see another interpretation: Web log.

Does it make a difference? Whether you're keeping a blog or a log (as in a diary or record of your day to day activities?)

Well let me ask you this: blog and borg sound pretty similar, while Captain Picard keeps a Captain's Log. So who's side are you on? Captain Picard's or the borg's?

I rest my case.

JUDGE: You rest your case?
LIONEL HUTZ: Oh, no I just thought that was a figure of speech. Case closed.

Simpsons's trivia for the day:

Why does Judge Snider "have it in" for Lionel Hutz?

Monday, November 19, 2007

Live from York

When I work 8-4s at ErinOak I usually have to get my butt out of bed at around 6 in the morning. So what, you might ask, would possess me to stay up until 1 on Saturday night when I was in the midst of these early shifts?

So worth it.

Although, I suppose I have just provided evidence that it was not, as I could simply have waited 2 days and seen it on YouTube.



Also for anyone who didn't get to go the screening:

Did you see me? If not, it's obviously because I was so "there" that you didn't even realize it was me. Either that or you need to go back to the last 20 seconds or so of the clip and look in the bottom right hand corner of the screen and kind of re-focus your eyes a little.

Friday, November 16, 2007

I can't sleep and here's what I think 1: Qui'gon and the Menace

I think I might be mentally disturbed. Allow me to explain.

I have a thing for men doing a really good job at acting. This has to be my nerdiest turn on. I can see an actor do any number of movies and think nothing of him (in terms of physical attractiveness), but if he delivers a particularly impressive performance I'm suddenly drawn in by something a little more. My classic example is Willem Dafoe. Not perhaps a typical Hollywood hunk, and yet when I watched American Psycho it was not Christian Bale I was checking out.
I say this, not because anyone wants to know about my (no longer secret) crush on Willem Dafoe. In fact I'm sure that's information everyone could have lived without. I am simply trying to explain my next, far more peculiar confession.

You see I have just finished watching Schindler's List for the first time. Now really I can't imagine who watches Schindler's List more than once apart from a few characters in the second part of "The Raincoats" episode of Seinfeld. Which brings me to my revelation. I am really attracted to Ralph Fienne's ability to act. And anyone who watches Schindler's List and thinks "Gee I think I'd really like to have sex with Ralph Fiennes" is probably emotionally disturbed.

Actually, I think that's far less disturbing than what I found out later on ImdB. Fiennes did not get the Best Supporting Oscar that year. After expressing a 14 year late outrage at this fact I amused myself with images of the audience reacting to "And the winner is Tommy Lee Jones, The Fugitive" that night in the Kodak theatre.

It's getting late. I should try to sleep again. Or at least do something more useful than this.

That paper-clip necklace I was working on is more useful than this.

PS: Anyone who "gets" my title, not only gets 300 Liz Points for reading my blog regularly enough to pick up on my reference to my "I've Been Drinking and Here's What I Think" series (a literary masterpiece in the making), but is also nerdy enough to notice that all of them (save the first two) played on the titles of Star Wars Movies. You'll find Liz Points have very little commercial value, but I hope you enjoy them.

Saturday, November 10, 2007

The Time (wasting) Machine

Childish as this is, I have a new toy. There's a site on the internet that will generate quotes from Shakepeare with whatever word you happen to type in. For example, if someone were to type in "refriderator" and the generator came up with "To be or not to be, that is the ********" then the quote is: To be or not to be, that is the refridgerator". Some favourites included:

"Friends, Romans, Countrymen, lend me your iPod"
"For never was a story of more woe, than that of Juliet and her Liz" (a little bit of a twist ending there I'd say!)
and then of course with other random literary and film characters:
"Life's but a walking hobbit"
"The quality of mercy is not strained, it droppeth as the gentle Ewok from heaven upon the place beneath."

But this one required some evidence. For those who are fans of the "Penis Movie Game", I know you'll enjoy my total lack of maturity. Even if no one else will.

William Shakespeare

Come, you spirits
That tend on mortal thoughts! Unsex me here,
And fill me from the crown to the toe top full
Of direst penis.

Which work of Shakespeare was the original quote from?

Get your own quotes:

Although I should tell you that the first time I hit the button it came out with "Out damned penis! Out I say!" A close second.

Thursday, November 08, 2007

In here life is beautiful

My favourite piece of mail of the year has arrived. The 2008 Stratford Festival guide came today and I could not be more excited.

At first glance ummm- well actually:

Festival Theatre:
Romeo and Juliet
Taming of the Shrew
All's Well That Ends Well
Caesar and Cleopatra (no not a typo- it's Shaw's play)

seriously?? I was on the verge of angry rebellion. A new artistic director and their first instinct was to pick the 3 most performed and run into the ground Shakespeare's- but oh wait!

Juliet ,and it appears her entire family, are played by african-canadian actors. Cool. I dig this for two reasons: 1) It brings a different angle to the classic story, that while I'm sure it's been done somewhere else before is fresh to me and is a good idea. 2) I once watched a Shakespeare Master's class tape in my Acting II where two students performed a soliloquy of Lady MacBeth's. Everyone agreed that the second girl (the black actress) performed considerably better than the first girl (the white actress). My immediate impression was, well that's no surprise. Because I'd wager a guess that she's had to work a whole lot harder to prove herself in the world of classical theatre which is traditionally dominated by white actors. Seeing Stratford make an effort to break from this tradition is at least a step forward.

Next up: Hamlet- Alright, truthfully I am going to see this regardless of... well anything. I love Hamlet and to see it done professionally at the leading North American classical theatre venue is reason enough to shell out the dough.

Taming of the Shrew- I will probably not touch with a ten foot pole, but I will assure you, it is not set in the wild wild west.

This year's best surprise for me however came in the form of its musical. I generally don't like musicals, especially at Stratford, but this year they will be doing Cabaret. Probably my favourite musical (putting aside my desire to see Avenue Q).

There is also a production of Trojan Women (which I am interested to see having been in a- ahem interesting production myself), Krapp's Last Tape, performed by Brian Dennehy (not to be confused with Brian Boytano), and a new experimental show called Shakespeare's Universe which is an interdisciplinary look at female roles in Shakespeare's plays. All in all I am assuming that this will take about a week to see everything and cost me roughly a billion dollars.

Thrift, thrift Horatio...

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Back to the Futurama

Ok, I've been laughing outloud uncontrollably for 10 minutes.

Of the new Futurama DVD coming out at the end of the month David X Cohen says:

"While we're on the subject of additional content, sort of, I should elaborate on the DVD bonus features, because these have been little publicized even though we worked quite hard on them. So here they are...

A full-length 22-minute episode of "Everybody Loves Hypnotoad"..."

When I regained the ability to sit up straight, but still continued to giggle heartily I further read:

"Let me say to any hardcore fans out there who know what I'm talking about that there is slightly more to this than you'd expect. I am pretty interested to see how fans react to this one. I'd estimate that approximately 4% of viewers will consider this the greatest achievement in the history of mankind; the other 96% may experience emotions ranging from fear to confusion to discomfort and itchiness."

I can only tell you that I'm in that 4% having not even seen it yet. I am positive that it is the greatest achievement in the history of mankind. Long live the hypnotoad!

Monday, November 05, 2007


I feel like I was supposed to remember something...

BART: Is it Guy Fawkes Day?

Thursday, November 01, 2007

Candy Apple

I know some people really like their iPods, but this is ridiculous:

I also highly recommend this 3 part South Park episode Imaginationland. It's fantastic. In every sense of the word.