Monday, June 30, 2008

Oh it IS me babe.

On August the 20th I, Liz Buchanan, will be sitting in the front row of the Copps Collesium Concert Bowl watching...

In the immortal words of Eric Cartman: Who wants to touch me?

Saturday, June 28, 2008

My Nerdy Obsession

Sign #22 that I've lost touch with reality: I can think of VERY few things that have ever made me happier than what happens in the final seventeen seconds of the behind the scenes read-through of last season's Scrubs premiere.

Friday, June 27, 2008

Two Minus Three Equals Negative Fun!

Someone has created pure awesomeness

Personal favourites include:

Firecrackers: The Silent Killer
Pepsi Presents: Fractions
The Revenge Of Abe Lincoln
'P' Is For Psycho
The President's Neck Is Missing!
Man Verses Nature: The Road To Victory
Fuzzy Bunny's Guide To You-Know-What
Lead Paint: Delicious But Deadly
Alice's Adventures Through The Windshield Glass
The Decapitation Of Larry Leadfoot

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Seven Words You Can't Say in Your Blog

I think tonight I'll watch Dogma.

Monday, June 23, 2008

Maybe I would steal purse!

Who are you to judge me, Mr. Don't-Steal-Movies ad?!

The point is, after giving the Cineplex corporation $50 of my hard earned money this summer SO FAR (remember I still have Get Smart, The Dark Knight and Hamlet 2* to go) I'm getting really sick of seeing that lame don't-steal-movies ad. At least they were all pretty good. Indiana Jones wasn't exactly amazing, but it was a lot of fun and I was pleasantly surprised with Iron Man... the only one I was really dissappointed with was Prince Caspian, and because there's nothing I like more than being vindicated, here's a review by two guys who felt the same way:

I was however, far more impressed with Kung Fu Panda. I have ranted at length about children's entertainment "these days" but this movie had a couple of elements that I enjoyed. The humor, while occasionally over-the-top or "man getting hit with football" based was not the central focus of the film, there was actually, dear god, a story. And no it was not an original story, in fact it pretty much came out and made fun of how Star Warsy it was, but at least in a nice subtle way. It was about being an outcast, about believing in yourself and aspiring to greatness. In that way it was cut from the same cloth as the Disney golden age of the 90s. In fact if Dreamworks can start making things other than Shrek they may be poised to pick up the Disney torch... especially if WallE doesn't live up to its hype. Though Disney would have a hard time doing worse than Chicken Little. By the way, don't ever watch an animated movie based purely on liking the voice actors involved. You'd think I'd have learned my lesson from Doogal. You'd THINK.

Anyways, I watched the movie with a five year old who laughed and got scared during the fight scenes and then wanted to watch it again. So not only am I not alone in my appreciation of the movie, but it also proves my long standing belief that it's good to frighten children in movies. That's what makes them fun.
When I was a youngling I had to leave Peter Pan in the theatre because I got scared in the part where Captain Hook was sneaking up on him in the cave. I also may have had a series of nightmares. It also became one of my favourite movies as a kid and I went as Tiger Lily for Halloween the next year (Incidently, denying I was ever frightened, citing temporary illness as the reason for leaving the theatre).
I'm not suggesting that all kindergarteners should watch Dark Crystal, but maybe it's not SUCH a bad thing if kids get a little scared when they see movies. That's what makes them fun!

I'm recommending Kung Fu Panda for kids 4-104 and giving it my personal Liz thumbs up.

*PS: For those of you that have not yet heard of Hamlet 2 and are asking the obvious question I direct you to 1:03 :

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Wonder-Twin Powers Activate!

Form of a gopher!
Form of a mote!

Inspired by last Tuesday's Colbert Report. I suggest watching the entire episode. I TVOed it and made every member of my family watch it at least once with me.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Viva la Musique!

I'm in the midst of doing some iTunes downloading. Today 3 albums (though sigh, I only anticipated wanting two) came out today. I am currently downloading my most recent unhealthy preoccupation The Hold Steady. I haven't heard anything off of the new album yet, but I don't care. Boys and Girls in America was sweet, and I haven't been able to get "Stuck Between Stations" out of my head for months. Wolf Parade was kind enough to stream their new album on their MySpace page so I've had a chance to listen to a few songs. It's definitely a little different than I thought it would be (I was sure recording in that church was going to actually turn them into the Arcade Fire), but I like a few of the songs. Nothing is totally grabbing me like "I'll Believe in Anything" or "Sons and Daughters of Hungry Ghosts", but quite frankly 2 albums in a row with songs that awesome would be an act of the music gods.

Finally, I am doing a surprise download. Prior to last week I did not think I would be buying Coldplay's new album. I loved Parachutes, but I wasn't keen on Rush of Blood to the Head (loved the "The Scientist" mind you, but wasn't as impressed with "Clocks" as everyone else seemed to be), then after I heard "Speed of Sound" I wondered if I would ever feel the desire to own another Coldplay album.

I had heard "Violet Hill" on the radio and thought, 'Hey that's a nice contrast to what they have been doing, I'll see if anything's up on iTunes yet.'
So I downloaded that and "Viva La Vida". I stuck "Viva La Vida" on a playlist with some stuff from Flight of the Conchords and Colin Hay that I hadn't heard yet and went to the gym. I actually had to stop in the middle of my reps to find out whose song was so great. I was pleasantly finding myself thinking "I must get that album" for the first time since hearing "Yellow" at junior prom.
At any rate, the tracks have finished downloading while I've been writing this. I'm off to the gym with a fully loaded iPod and a newly rekindled love for popular music.

Monday, June 16, 2008

The 401

Hey, I hit 400 posts without particularly realizing it. Sweet.

I like to think that in those 400 posts there was some wit and wisdom. Whether it was my delusions of being married to Ewan McGregor, my list of things that I would buy with a $10 Million movie contract, the pun-rific Star Wars/"I've been drinking and here's what I think" saga, titling and subsequently retitling several posts "Everything's coming up Milhouse!", the idea that I stole from Andrew about just posting song lyrics that were stuck in my head everytime I was stuck for something to say, or just my random thoughts on everything from leg waxing to Cameron Diaz, I hope that you've all been enjoying these 3 years of web logging.

Here's a story.

My parents were in Ottawa this week, and my Dad brought back two pens and gave one to me. I was sitting in his chair tonight and playing with HIS pen (as most of you know I'm a terrible fidgeter). Anyways, I pulled the lid off of the pen and with it came the part that holds the ink in place. It didn't get on me, but the pen was now broken, and took some tricky handy work to get back together while my brother sat and gave me a "good job" sort of look. I finally got it back together, looked up at Scott and said "He'll never notice" and set it back on the table next to Dad's chair.

Five minutes ago, as I was writing the first half of this post, when from downstairs I heard my father say:

"Scott, I have your present from Ottawa, it's a pen!"

Friday, June 13, 2008

Our Endless Numbered Days

1:55AM Thought: Maybe flying off the handle about an irresponsible guidance counellor in the states is not the best way to deal with seriously repressed emotional issues that have been brought dangerously close to the surface of late.

Then again neither is vague blogging.


Will you say to me when I’m gone
Your face has faded but lingers on
Because light strikes a deal with each coming night
Oh oh oh oh
Coming night
Oh oh oh oh
Coming night.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Lies and the Lying Liars that tell them

I saw a story on Yahoo News that was just about the only thing that could me me go pundit on this thing. Being Yahoo, I can't actually post the video, so you'll have to go here to watch it.

It says that the parents and teens are angry. The ones on that video aren't anywhere near angry enough. If they had done that at my high school, we would have opened the biggest can of whoop-ass on our teachers and guidance counsellors. Never mind that they did it at all, but they let it go on for TWO HOURS?! That's unbelievably cruel.

It reminds me of the South Park episode "My Future Self and Me", where the kids' parents will go to any length to scare them into not doing drugs, instead of just being honest with them (a commentary on the Bush administration's attempt to link pot to 9/11... I mean seriously WTF?)

Stan basically says that if they had just told him the truth about drugs it would have a greater impact that an elaborate scheme of lies. When kids and teens feel like they've been lied to by authority figures they're more inclined to rebel. As much as I love rebellion, I prefer the kind where you wear short skirts or tell off your teacher when they're being a jerk- not the kind where you get behind the wheel after a few.

The truth will out. I'm a big fan of honesty, it's no secret. Maybe it's because, when people lie about stuff, particularly under the guise of "it's for your own good" it usually isn't.
The more you lie to scare people under the pretense that they can't make wise decisions for themselves, the harder they'll come back at you when they find out you were lying. Don't believe me? Ask the Bush administration.

Monday, June 09, 2008

The Last Temptation of Liz

Probably not for the guys who read this. That's right there are girls who read my blog.

As a follow up to my last post: I have a giant crush on Willem Dafoe.

I am so totally attracted to his acting.

The thing about Dafoe is that while he's often a little over the top (read a lot) he's so goddamn committed to it that I don't even care. So unlike most women who watch Platoon amd think Johnny Depp is hot, I have eyes only for Willem- Seriously, who names their son that? (Also sign #35 that I've lost touch with reality: yelling at Tom Beranger to "stop being such a dick").

Everytime I go into one of my day-dreamy moments about Willem Dafoe, my brother is always here to remind me of the quote from Riff Trax about the Spiderman movie:

"But being a spider naturally puts him on the bad side of Norman Osborn, the charismatic head of OsCorp Industries who manages to find enough time in his day to moonlight as an evil goblin (played by real life evil goblin Willem Dafoe.)"

Which of course brings me to my all time favourite ACTING! moment:

"Where did you say you got that cut?"

Is it over the top? Yes. Do I LOVE it? Yes.

Now I know what you're thinking- Liz, do you have crushes on other actors based purely on talent? Why yes, and thank you for asking.
We've already dealt with my disturbing response to Ralph Fiennes in Schindler's List, but did you know that I also inexplicably find James Woods really hot? I even watched an entire episode of Shark! There's no reason to do that.
Of course my most recent acting-crush is on Scrubs (and Platoon) co-star John C McGinley. I've had to go back to several scenes on my Scrubs Season 1 DVD and re-watch his acting. That one where Dr. Cox takes his shirt off, that one where he drops his pants, that other one where he takes his shirt off, the point is his acting is shirtless... flawless-body... damnit! These guys are all like twice my age- maybe I just need to go back to being attracted to guys with Scottish accents or Jewish comedians.

Quality vs Quality

Last night I finally watched Platoon. Sorry Joe, I was wrong, that was probably one of the best movies I've ever seen.

Which got me thinking... while, in my opinion, it may in fact be one of the best made films in history I have no intention of owning it, or adding it to any favourite movies list. It's not exactly the kind of movie I would watch again and again for enjoyment.

While I will stand fast for the excellence of many of my top 10 Favourites (City Lights, Dr Strangelove, Casablanca), I admit that they are not always the highest quality movies in history (Monty Python's Quest for the Holy Grail is my #1 after all). I do like to actually ENJOY the movies I'm watching, and I actually get kind of pissed when I'm told that I should love a movie that was absolutely painful to watch for no good reason.
But every once in a while, and frequently with many of the folks reading this, I watch a movie that is kind of painful, in that it is disturbing, but is also incredibly moving and impressive. I have decided to pay tribute to these films in my:

Top 10 Movies I Thought Were Brilliant, but I Never Want to Have to See Again

10. Titus

9. Full Metal Jacket

8. One Flew Over the Cookoo's Nest

7. Resevoir Dogs (Oh yes, I went there)

6. The English Patient

5. Saving Private Ryan

4. Natural Born Killers

3. The Good, the Bad and the Ugly (With the exception of the scene where all the guys try to ambush him and the music goes 'wah nah nah nah nah- duh duh duh duh- wah nah nah nah nah- duh duh duh duh'. I could watch that forever)

2. Schindler's List

1. Platoon

I actually had an entire post written with explanations about why I thought the movies were excellent, and what had disturbed me so terribly about them, but it was starting to sound like a psychotherapy session. Also, I assume that since I am dealing with a few people's favourites that I'll have to argue this in some sort of angry flame war anyways, so it's really just a time saving activity.

Wednesday, June 04, 2008


This is really one of the strangest things I've had happen in a while.

I noticed Monday whilst out to see Indiana Jones, with the lovely Miss Liz VanTassel, that something on me smelled kind of funny. Not really bad (I hope Liv!), but noticably strange. The smell got stronger and by the evening I was convinced that I had spilled something really stinky on myself. I woke up the next morning, had a shower and put on copious amounts of deoderant. At exactly this point, I noticed the smell again. I smelled my deoderant. My BRAND NEW stick of deoderant, which I had purchased Sunday night smelt like cheese that had gone very very bad.

I have seriously never heard of this. I don't think deoderant goes bad...

Any ways, this is not only a public service announcement of apology to Liv, but seriously- what the hell? I should call Secret...

Also, I think it's really a shame that the blogosphere has yet to develope an HTML code to post smells- although, I suspect no one would ever read my blog again.

PS: I am not entirely convinced that the new Indiana Jones movie wasn't written exactly the same way that Snakes on a Plane was written.
Blogger: Dude, you know what would be SO COOL...
Lucas-Spielberg (reading): Gold!

Did I still love it? Yes.
Do I think it was better than Temple of Doom? Phantom Menace was better than Temple of Doom.
Would I go see it again? Hell yes.