A Tragical Comical Historical Pastoral of Errors

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I should clarify (as I suppose not everyone has the entirity of Hamlet memorized): All of the line mess ups that you are about to read are the product of my having a very poor short term memory and a uselessly/frighteningly good long term memory. All lines are some sort of synthesis of my current play A Comedy of Errors and The Tragedy of Hamlet, Prince of Denmark

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My three saddest line screw-ups of A Comedy of Errors thus far:

1. The line:
Back villain or I will break thy pate across!

What I said:
"Back villain or I will break thy pate across, pluck off your beard and blow it in your face"

2. The line:
That thou art then astranged from thyself. Thyself I call it, for being strange to me... blah blah blah

What I said:
"Thou art then astranged from thyself. Thyself I call it, for to define thyself what is it to but to be... thee? Shit"

...and tonight's

3. The line:
The tongue though not my heart in this shall have his will

What I said:
"My tongue and heart in this be hypocrits"


It's official: my brain is broken.

Tomorrow the birds will sing.

"I think it's a joke name sir"

There's a point at which you decide to go by Richard. I entered this guy's name into our data base today and his name is Richard Hack. Trouble is he doesn't go by Richard. He goes by Dick. Actually no, that's not the trouble. The trouble is that his middle initial is W.

*sigh* I find maturity elusive at best...

Lyrics of the whenever!

I thought I would check out one of the most recent additions to the Lollapalooza line-up, Ben Kweller. I am excited to have come across a song about a girl named Liz!! This is very exciting for me in the nerdiest way possible. It's also a pretty cool tune.

Lizzy

sign me up, i volunteer
votes are in for lifeguard of the year
her feline past lives are plain to see
their similarities are shown in this life again

like mama said, dontcha let it go to your head
when ya know you're being fed
i'm so proud to know you
lizzy, i'll write, i'll sing
telegraph, telegram
telephone, tellin' you
i'll be home soon
dienu

we will wake when kitty licks
and in the morn, work takes her to maine
dressed and out the door by six
tomorrow is the first time liz can't board my plane

like mama said, dontcha let it go to your head
when ya know your book is read
i'm so proud to know you
anna will take me to the port
as liz drives up i-95
me and my darlin' keep love alive
even on texas time

like mama said, dontcha let it go to your head
when your town is painted red
i'm so proud to know you
lizzy, i'll write, i'll sing
telegraph, telegram
telephone, tellin' you
i'll be home soon
dienu

Heart of Darkness

Let's be clear, I'm not anti-soldier. But let's get philisophical for a moment:

"3 U.S. soldiers charged with killing of Iraqis"

I don't even know where to start...

Monty Pyhton's Meaning of Life

Eric Idle: Better than staying at home, eh sir! At
home if you kill someone they arrest you. Here they give you
a gun, and show you what to do, sir. I mean, I killed fifteen
of those buggers sir! Now at home they'd hang me. *Here* they
give me a fucking medal sir!


I'm sorry but when you send thousands of soliders out into the desert with guns and tell them to drop bombs and shoot "evil doers", leave them out there for 3 years while 2500 of them get killed, and cause at least 38,475 casualties as a result of the war... well geez, what a shock, they killed people! Who could have guessed? If only there was some kind of recent historical event that could have warned us that this kind of stuff would happen...
"This isn't Vietnam"

You're right guys. It's worse.


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A funny story: So I typoed earlier, as anyone who followed the link would have noticed. I love that on any other political blog I would have been bombarded by angry/offensive comments about my "ignorance". Instead I was politely emailed and alerted to my mistake. Sigh. Thanks Joe ;)

Thorold

The city where I work is cooler than I thought. Not only does the name "Thorold" come from the last name of the historical basis for Lady Godiva, but more importantly there is a kissing rock. I understand that the Kissing Rock at Lock 7 is a lucky charm bringing happiness and prosperity to everyone who kisses their love in front of the rock. That's right, I'm not even going to spoil this with cynicism. I think it's kind of sweet.

Blah

You know what would cheer me up...








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A blah end to my blah-day:
Characters
Director
Actor
Liz

Director: This is a farce, OK everyone- You don't have to worry about playing it real so much, forget Stanislavski...
Actor: *cough* Liz


I've decided to take this as a compliment.

Upside Down and Sideways

So blogger just posted two things that I SWEAR I saved as drafts rather than published. Seriously, the "woodsy psychoanalytical" thing from Angelo, and the "Last dozen people to comment" thing from Luke. In both cases the material published was... hm... it was better that I took a moment and rethought my posting process. Sometimes things are better left in my head than posted up on the internet.

Also a lot of things are better left in my head when I've just finished working the 11-7 shift. Mayhaps I should turn in for some rest. Good night!



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Yes I'm at work, but here's the deal. I got a list of stuff to do last night and worked myself silly trying to get it all done. I stressed that I didn't quite finish everything that I wanted last night and came in early tonight to get it done. Turns out that the To Do list was meant for two nights. It's 2AM and I have nothing to do. This is not terrible, but it will be by 4 or 5AM when I'm ready to sleep.

Two good things about work tonight: 1) I was given the assignment last night to create a database email all of the presidents of various student unions in Ontario so that they can email them about our place in case they're at a conference at Brock University or something. I told them I would probably take care of the SGA personally.

2) I am taking the opportunity to learn about the wine and food here, and more importantly wine and food pairings. I was excited to learn that my favourite cheese in the world pairs perfectly with my favourite wine in the world. Munster cheese and Zinfandale! Somehow I don't think that this makes me cultured, but at least I will learn why. The only unfortunate thing about this is that I am not learning about wine and cheese pairings through trial and error, but rather the books here available on the subject.

Well I think that qualifies as my 15 minutes. Boy did I ever need that break from... whatever I'm going to do to keep myself awake for another 5 hours.

Stephen feels the news at you

Recent graduate? Follow Stephen's Sound Advice on making the leap into the real world:

1. DO: Move Back Home
Your parents paid for college, the least you can do is reward them with your college educated presence. Show them how enlightened you are by rejecting society’s demands that you get your own place. Plus free food and plenty of time to play Halo.

2. DO: Pad your resume. With a few simple key strokes you can turn your GPA from a 1.4 to a 4.1, that will open some eyes. And that summer job: bus boy at the Olive Garden=Goodwill Embassador to Italy.

3.I have one word for you: PLASTICS. Do sign up for as many credits cards as possible. Then max those suckers out. Society doesn’t consider you a real adult until you’re drowning in debt.

4. Don’t go to Europe to find yourself. Who told you that you were there to begin with? (The rest of this can only be appreciated by watching the video)

5. Before you leave for good streak the quad. After you’ve graduated it’s a felony.

And finally...
6. Don’t graduate.
(Hm, not a bad idea... hello grad school!)

Homerpalooza

Round 4: What saying can help someone in Springfield determine whether or not water is safe to drink?

57 Days! I can totally afford this.
"Are you being sarcastic?"
"I don't even know anymore."

Goulet!

Yes! I just saw Robert Goulet get his star on Canada's Walk of Fame. Could this weekend get any better? There's four hours left...

Liz BA

For all of the times I've made fun of people at the Oscars who don't know which side of the stage to exit on I sure did freeze up after I got my diploma. Actually I think I was still absorbing the amazing reaction I recieved from our dear madame president after she had caught me off guard. I thought it was supposed to be a quick handshake. Wouldn't you know, she asked me the question every university graduate loves to hear: "So what are you doing now that you've graduated?". I smiled and said "I'm going to be an actor". Anyone that was able to watch the WebCast (yes there was a WebCast) got to see what I thought was the only reaction that topped the girl that walked on stage to get her diploma in her slippers.

Other answers that I wanted to give to "What are you going to do now that you've graduated?":

"I want to be president of Laurentian University"
"I'm going to Disney World"
"I have one word for you: plastics"
"I'm planning on going to the reception afterwards"


*I would also like to note that my inability to find my way off stage after getting the diploma was actually symbolic of my not knowing what direction I'm going in now that I've gotten my degree.

Adaptation

I saw an advertisement that got me thinking (always scary). It was for a new video game: The DaVinci Code. Now some might claim that this is definitive proof that the book does not qualify as literature. I beg to differ, in fact I think that it's high time more famous literary works were made into video games.

The Great Gatsby (with built in driving simulator)
Moby Dick's ESPN Whaling 2006
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (and you thought Mario's magic mushrooms were cool)
Sim City 1984
The Diary of Anne Frank (there are so many WWII video games, and yet I think they're missing a crucial market here)
The Scottish Game (not availabe from Microsoft)
Grand Theft Auto: A Clockwork Orange Edition
Pilgrim RPG
Anne of Green Gables (first person shooter)
Racing game: Brake fast at Tiffany's

That's enough. It's late.

Wax On...

My story begins when I got home from work this afternoon at around 1:30pm. The weather was finally nice enough for shorts and I got this stupid stupid idea. I thought I would try to wax my legs.
Now I know there are many women perfectly capable of doing this. I am just not one of them. I was doing pretty well until I got to a patch just below my knee cap. I stuck the wax on and went to rip.... the wax however decided not to come along. Now this particular wax brand does not wash off with water. In fact applying water to the wax makes it MUCH worse. It comes with this comedically small vile of "Azulene Oil" which removes the excess wax. So I applied the oil and sure enough- the wax remained. A huge clump of it right in the middle of my leg. Well I sure used up the oil and the wax sure did stay there on my leg. I tried damn near everything to get this wax clump off of my knee. I scraped at it (making everything I scraped with unstickably sticky), I tried 3 kinds of soap, several skin lotions, shampoo (which, unlike wax, washes right out), conditioner, hydrogen peroxide, peaunut oil, Nair hair remover (seemed logical), and what finally removed the wax from my leg: 8spf Coppertone sun tan lotion. So anyways, you can add that to your "useful information for leg waxing" (I'm assuming that everyone with a Y chromosome stopped reading at the third sentence).

Anywho, the uber exciting thing these days is my trek up to Sudbury next Friday! Graduation, hoorah! I never thought I would be so excited to see the Super Stack... or Laurentian University. Thorneloe I'm always excited to see (well almost always), but even more so these days. Soon enough!

Not a Sleep EZ

I had my very first shift at work at the mansion last night. It's pretty damn cool. I don't get to waitress until Friday, but I've learned all of the computer-esque parts of my job. I also discovered that bussing to and from St Catharines is not as simple as I might have imagined it to be. I won't go into any great detail, but suffice it to say my shift finished at 7AM and I didn't get into bed until 9:30AM. A severe lack of sleep has made me a little on the grouchy side. I should do something to improve that...

still... a small price to pay for such a high level of coolness.

Coffee and Sigur Ros

I am training in the art of wakefullness. My first shift at the mansion is an over-night 11pm to 7am shift. While my recent exit from studentdom should have prepared me for keeping these sorts of hours I must confess: I don't manage well without my sleep. So I must get into the habit of staying up at night and, most likely, sleeping in the mornings as shifts and rehearsals will be afternoons/evenings for the most part. I am working my way up to pulling the all nighter, and still being bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.
Right now they might have to settle for bushy-eyed and bright-tailed.

PS: Check out the latest edition of the Daily Show's comic The Decider.

You must mean another Liz

Apparently when people told me to relax and that things would work out just fine, they weren't just making that up to shut my yap-hole.
So here's the good news:
1. I got the part of Adriana in A Comedy of Errors with Shakespeare in the Vineyard. It's being done at the Henry of Pelham Winery and is produced by the Niagara Falls Theatre Society. If anyone will be in the Niagara area then it runs July 13-15 and 20-22 at 7pm.
2. I got a job! I am going to be a front desk clerk/hostess/bartender for the Keefer Mansion. A fully restored 19th Century Mansion in Thorold (near St Kitt's). The mansion is beautiful, the atmosphere is ever so cool AND I have been talking with the management about bringing dinner theatre to events there! I may be able to make some money and do some directing/acting while I'm at it.
3. I found out today that despite its absence from the Event Calendar at Cayuga Secondary School, the Baseball Tournament that I started up in high school ran today in memory of Will, Jay, Dayton and Tom. I am sorry that I couldn't attend, but I am so happy that they are still doing this at the school.
4. I just ordered my Lollapalooza ticket, Raconteurs, Death Cab for Cutie, Shins, Flaming Lips, Iron and Wine, Feist, etc etc and more awesome etc, here I come!

The Pension Grillparzer

An activity usurped from Angelo-

Instructions:

1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the next 3 sentences on your blog along with these instructions.
5. Don't dig for that "cool" or "intellectual" book in your closet! I know you were thinking about it! Just pick up whatever is closest.

from page 123 of The World According to Garp

"Tell the truth," the singer said. "He was born without shinbones. But it's true that we couldn't get along with the Russians."
"They tried to jail the bear," said the dream man.
"Tell the truth," Theobald said.

Blue... no I mean yelloooooooo

Thanks everyone for the questions, here are the answers:


Andrew John Root in a Pythonesque manner charged me not to ignore his questions four.

Question the First: Would you ever try cocaine and under what circumstances?
No. Inhaling anything that way kind of grosses me out. Plus drugs are bad :)


Question the Second: Which island most intrigues you and why?

Madagascar for the lemurs and other fun creatures (I’m an anthropology-nerd). A close second would be the island of Yap, which is part of the Federated States of Micronesia.

Question the Third: What reasons do you have to be smug?

I didn’t realize I was smug. I thought that perhaps if I looked up the exact OED definition of smug I would be less defensive about answering the question. This did not help, BUT I learned that the word smug originates from the German word “smuk” meaning pretty. I am going to smugly assume that that’s what was meant.

Question the Fourth: Name one song, movie, and book you think the world could live without..... ?

I go so far as to say that the world would be a better place without-
Song: Untitled-Simple Plan - I actually wasn’t sure what the title of this song was so I went to a Simple Plan lyrics page looking for "a song about a spoiled brat suburban boy abnoxiously whining about how tough his life is". It took a while to find the particular one I was looking for.
Movie: The Fast and the Furious - I don’t think that movies make people do stupid things, but why encourage this idiotic behaviour
Book: Toss up between The O’Reilly Factor for Kids and How to Talk to a Liberal (if you must): The World According to Ann Coulter. Actually I suspect that that was actually my answer to “Name two people the world could live without”.

Angelo praised my word-verification for being wheelchair accessible, though I think it is actually a parking permit giving his question a space closer to my brain than all of the other questions. His was:

What is one thing you've always wished to say to a loved one but haven't gone through with because it would be deemed inappropriate? You do not need to identify the loved one.

I don’t think there’s any one thing, I don’t really sit on things for very long, and I pick my battles. It’s probably much more the way I word stuff that I would secretly change sometimes when I’m trying to spare someone’s feelings or resolve things for the best. That’s not very exciting is it? Alright, there’s a person I am very close to that I secretly hate and everyday I have to convince myself not wait until they’re asleep at night to go in and smother with a pillow. Sleep tight everyone!


Lizzie V was finally able to leave me a question. I am so sorry Lizzie V, all this time I thought I actually had the function on for people to leave anonymous comments. I always wondered why people told me that they read my blog, but never left a comment. At any rate… Liv asked:

What in your 23 years do you regret doing (or not doing) the most?

Well going to Alberta was not the best decision I ever made, but I’ve stopped actually waking up in the middle of the night from bad dreams and freaking out that I might still be there, so I guess I can see it as a learning experience of sorts. I also probably should have gone on the Europe trip in high school. I could have borrowed the money the extra money I needed, back then $1000 was a lot of money to be in debt.

If you could be any celebrity who would you be and why?

Heh- alright there’s a real answer to this that I probably shouldn’t give, because there’s no way it won’t look bad. I do adore Kate Winslet and I also think Naiomi Watts and Helen Bonham Carter are very talented and beautiful actresses who I wouldn’t mind being for a day or so. I do kind of like being me, though.

You have a choice between 10 million dollars or marrying a now bankrupt Ewan... what do you do?

Marrying Ewan. Contrary to popular belief it is not Ewan’s fame or money that attract me to him. That’s superficial. I think he’s hot and has a really sexy accent and I’ve seen him in a full frontal nude scene, so I am attracted to him in a much deeper way than money and fame.

Here are some questions from Erica (Whom I usually refer to as Erica):

1. When you think of Acting II what is the first thing that comes into your head?

I think the day Sarah made us write those poems and read them out and I suddenly realized what my “wall” was in acting. It was incredibly liberating, and I knew that my real work had only just begun, but it was nice to finally understand what it was going to take to act.

2. If you could go anywhere in the world tomorrow where would you go and how long would you stay?

Great Britain. I’d like to do about a month or so of the whole British Isles. A week in London, Stratford and all those other important English places, a week in Scotland, a week in Ireland and a week in Wales.


3. If you had the opportunity to save Jon Stewart's life and have him indebted to you forever and ever but you first had to be the one to endanger his life would you do it?

I would be too scared that I wouldn’t be able to properly save his life after endangering him. And a world without Jon Stewart might as well not be a world… and it’s likely not to be if the Republicans stay in power…

That was a pretty sour note to end on.

I have a job interview at a really cool place on Monday. I have some very positive vibe from my “ins” there, and it would be a really fun job. I will post more if I get it. No sense getting hyped up.
I also did my audition last night and I think that it went very well. The director gave me some positive feedback and said he would be in touch soon. So a bit of a nervous weekend, but things are finally starting to roll down here. Thanks again for the questions, they were all really good/tricky ones!

Editted and Re-Editted... did I spell that right?

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I'm doing the question thingy. You know, the thingy everyone did months ago? Well I'm doing it now. Leave a question. And I've re-configured it so that those without blogs may question me as well. Yes this is in the absence of real things to write about. Fear not, this will be remedied VERY SOON.

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This is the all time low in the history of blogging. I have nothing of value of my own to say, so I've just decided to steal directly from Nissah's blog and put a post of hers on mine.

The wisdom of Nissah:

"Elbows

People, I have something to say. SAY NO TO DRY ELBOWS!!!!!! I was sitting in class and someone next to me had the worse case of dry elbows. Ugh, that just makes me mad! This is why we have lotions and creams people! For the love of God use them! That is all I have to say on that. So the next time you take a shower or a bath, remember to keep those elbows clean and moisturized."

I also learned from her blog that she has a life-long goal to throw a shoe at Bryan Adams. I've had a shoe thrown at me, and I can officially say that it was not a pleasant experience. It was also being thrown at me by a 250lb six foot tall camper screaming curses at me who would later attempt to lock me in a bathroom.
I miss camp.


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Due to some complaints about the length of this post, I have removed the quiz. If you wish to know something interesting or obscure about me, you can always leave a question. I will accept until Friday.
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Compy Pentium I

This computer:

Can't play videos
Can't play music/CDs
Is SLOW
Logs me on automatically to web messenger?
Has no space to download ANYTHING
Has word processing but it takes five minutes to start up

I wonder if I replaced it with a cardboard box if anyone would notice...

A New Chapter

I am home and settled, and ready to roll. Despite my exit (fade out on rocky landscape, cue music "Move Away and Shine") from the city of Sudbury I will be keeping up this blog, hopefully with some interesting adventures from southern Ontario. Already on the agenda: an audition for a community theatre group, just outside of Welland that is putting on Shakespeare's Comedy of Errors. Also my seemingly endless pursuit to find at least mildly meaningful/bearable employment.

I had a great weekend before I left, and I am infinitely confident that I will have more of those over the summer and in the future with many friends, including three of the most wonderful people I've ever had the privilage of be-friending. Jenny, Andrew and Steph did a lovely job of sending me off from Sudbury including an improv performance for the entire Greyhound bus at the station. The girl sitting beside me noticed me smiling and waving at them as they performed a puppet show with their bare hands.

GIRL: Are they your friends?
ME: Yeah, I'm moving away, we're all just finishing school...
(Steph's hand viciously attacks Andrew's hand and Jenny falls backwards dramatically behind the wall)
ME: ...Theatre school

Keeping reading, and stay in touch!

Passive Agressive Manipulation

An experpt from the Centre for Nursing Advocacy's analysis of The Nurse by the White Stripes:


"It's true that nurses are professionally obligated to protect their patients. But nurses have had more than enough of their expert care being associated with romantic relationships, a cliche that continues to undermine efforts to have their vital clinical skills recognized. It's also not hard to see some of the male vulnerability that has fueled the battleaxe nurse stereotype here, as the narrator stresses how "helpless," "alone" and "most ill" he is. What man wants to be at the mercy of some "suspiciously dusting" woman at a time like that? ...

The second stanza packs a real anti-nurse wallop, as the "maid you've hired," who's supposed to "mother" you, instead smothers you while you're "most ill." Clearly these roles--nurse, maid, mother--all run together here. But contrary to decades of the kind of handmaiden and maternal stereotyping in "The Nurse," modern nurses are skilled professionals with years of college-level education. A man may need a maid, as Neil Young once suggested, but not for nursing."

The Centre for Nursing Advocacy sent Jack White the Golden Lamp Award for Worst Portrayal of Nursing in the Media 2005:




White responded:



Something tells me this is going to go very badly...

PS: The Nursing Advocacy people titled their article: "Boy you have no faith in Nursing"... personally I think my title was wittier as I didn't make a b-line for the obvious.

3 Years Later and I still don't get it

I will sleep soon, but first, while my brain is still at its most alert... stupid movie still breaks my brain

A Little Ray of Hope

The Coco Monologues

Sweet!

I'm not entirely sure what I just saw

I guess I kind of went in expecting a total fluff piece. When I went to see American Dreamz I was anticipating a sort of P-C slightly to the left amusing movie that kind of ripped on Bush and American Idol and in the end taught us all that "Americans aren't so bad after all, just a little silly". A feel good for Democrats. This was not the case. I actually disagree with a large number of critics who have said that this was fluff with no substance. Firstly, it was not fluffy; it was down-right unpleasant in some parts. Secondly, there was actually a certain amount of substance in the dark dark humour of the film. On some level it was actually quite scathing about American politics and the American way of life.

The thinly veiled look at the Bush presidency was sort of an on-the-side amusement rather than the Daily Show-esque Bush roast I enjoy on a nightly basis. The strangest thing was in typical Hollywood fashion I actually found myself sympathizing and even liking the president. Their president! In the movie! He was just so sad...
That said it was not especially kind to Bush or American foreign policy in its satirization, but it was probably not as harsh as it could have been either.

The movie features a number of hopeful Americans and American TV personalities involved with the hit TV show American Dreamz (aka American Idol). Middle America, corporate America, white trash America and Hollywood, no one is spared in this almost painful look at the American way of life. I think I can summarize it by saying that the the most likeable character... nay the ONLY redeemable character in the film is Omar, a contestant on American Dreamz who is part of a terrorist cell and being sent to blow up the president.

Really dark. Kind of weird. Kind of funny. Wait til it comes to Rainbow.

Momentary Distraction

A miracle has occured. My Beckett essay has reached 8 pages. I may actually finish this tonight! At which point I will be officially finished university. I don't want to get ahead of myself here, and I am not going to comment on the quality of the essay (given that the last essay that I thought I ROCKED I got 72% on... stupid directing), but I think it will be sufficient to pass me in Theatre History II.

And now for the summer... anyone care to indulge me in an overly philisophical Liz-centric conversation about my future? :P

Unrelated: Stephen Colbert just made my night with the word "Bard". Stephen vs. Shakespeare at its finest. I will post the link for the video tomorrow when it's up.

PS: If anyone caught that random rant thing I put up at around 4:30 and took down at around 5:20, please ignore that... I just get like that sometimes. It's all good.

Let the Eagle Soar indeed Mr Ashcroft!

"Oh but Liz, I'm not a crazy. I don't have Ornithophobia like you"
(that's right, it's a real phobia!)

You might call me crazy now, but you haven't seen The Eagle has Loitered. I defy you to watch that and not be at least a little creeped out.

The A-Z of Me

Thanks for the time-waster Luke!

A = Available?
“For Children’s Parties”?

B = Best Friend(s)?
Jenny, Andrew and Steph

C = Crush?
Ewan McGregor (though at this point I’ll settle for anyone with a good Scottish accent and a field full of daffodils)

D = Dog Names?
Mog

E = Easiest Person To Talk To?
The Rootman

F = Friday or Saturday?
Friday

G = Gummy Bears Or Worms?
bears (sorry Stephen Colbert)

H = Hometown?
Hamilton

I = If You Could Move Would You?
Hm- a better question for me might be “If you should move, would you?”

J = Jesus is?
actually a man named Brian Cohen, part of the People’s Front of Judea

K = Kids?
none that I know of ha ha ha… oh yeah

L = Longest Car Ride?
I think it might have been the night Scott and I got lost in Fisherville…


I have added an M= Most favourite person I stole this quiz from:
Luke!

N = Number Of Siblings
1

O = One Wish?
Three more wishes

P = Phobia(s)
Birds and people biting on fabric

Q = Favorite Quote?
”I hate quotations”-Ralph Waldo Emerson

R = Reason To Smile?
You’re never fully dressed without a smile

S = Song You Last Heard?
The Fraggle Rock theme song (Season 1 DVD)

T = Time You Woke Up?
10ish

U = Unknown Fact About Me?
One thing I used to always want to do (other than be an actress obviously) was be an astronaut. I secretly wanted to do this well into my late teens despite a complete lack of skills in mathematics and physics.

V = Vegetable You Love?
Zucchini

W = Worst Habit?
Saying “What?” and then proceeding to answer because I actually heard exactly what you said. Any time I can do this in combination with opening my mouth to take a breath before I speak you know I am truly at my most absent-minded.

Also added: X = X-Man you would be if you could be one:
Rogue

Y = Yummy Foods?
Quizzno’s Veggie Subs, Cheese Quesidillas and Eggplant Lasagna

Z = Zodiac Sign?
Aries

Hey, you're that ninja!

So I'm a super nerd and visit the RSC website regularly. They are doing the complete works of William Shakespeare and having some international groups come to present their works:

"New York-based theatre company, Tiny Ninja Theater, performs Hamlet for the first time in the UK using an inch-high cast of small, plastic ninja figurines"

I thought: No this is too good to be true. See for your self. I don't even have words.

Everything's coming up Milhouse!

So I've now had three solid days of eating relatively healthily, getting 7ish hours of sleep/night, going for walks and leisure reading. Not entirely amazing: my mood has significantly improved, I am getting a lot more reading and writing for school done, and I am feeling a lot healthier.
Also on the good news front: I got my apartment rented, so I get my money back!! YAY! In the short term this means more money! I like thinking in the short term. People ask me what I'm doing with my life. I tell them I'll let them know when I figure out what I'm doing in two weeks.

Also, I enjoy being able to pass off reading fun plays as getting school work done :)

Today's indulgence:

Nothing is funnier than unhappiness, I grant you that. ... Yes, yes, it's the most comical thing in the world. And we laugh, we laugh, with a will, in the beginning. But it's always the same thing. Yes, it's like the funny story we have heard too often, we still find it funny, but we don't laugh any more.

The Tramp's Wisdom

"Life is a tragedy when seen in close-up, but a comedy in long-shot."

"Failure is unimportant. It takes courage to make a fool of yourself."

"Live without hope. Live for the moment."

"We think too much and feel too little."

"What do you want a meaning for? Life is a desire, not a meaning."

-Charlie Chaplin, various sources (actually I think they're mostly from Limelight)

Ten days late, but...

Borrowed from Angelo, as a momentary distraction:

Go to Wikipedia. Type in your birth date (but not year). List three events that happened on your birthday. List two important birthdays and one interesting death. Post this in your journal.

Events
1889 - The Eiffel Tower is inaugurated.
1918 - Daylight Savings Time goes into effect in the United States for the first time.
1967 - Jimi Hendrix burns his guitar for the first time at London's Astoria Theatre. He is sent to the hospital afterwards for burns on his hands. Sweet!

Important Birthdays
1948 - Al Gore, Vice President of the United States
1971 - Ewan McGregor, Scottish actor (for those who doubted that it was meant to be)

Important Death
I defy someone to beat this for depressing birthday-death:
1945 - Anne Frank, German-born diarist (b. 1929)

Study Break

Name a famous author who has kissed more boys than Lisa.

Lovely timing by the Colbert Report

On the off chance that you saw my directing class project and perhaps thought that I was exaggerating with the posters in the clinic watch Stephen Colbert's Balls for Kidz. Yes that's what it's called.

Be there or be square

Tonight the directing class students are presenting their final projects. Mine is a play called "The Most Massive Woman Wins" starring Jenny Hazelton, Sarah Gartshore, Nissah Slyke (shoot I better make sure I'm spelling that right) and Lindsay Wye. They are doing beautifully under ridiculous circumstances. I gave them the script two weeks ago and in that time have asked them to memorize the lines and find dimensions to four very complex female characters in emotional turmoil. I couldn't have asked for a better cast to tackle these difficult parts.

Also showing tonight:
Miss Stephanie Woolger's scenes from Stop Kiss
Mr Andrew Root's stage adaptation of Charlie Chaplin's Limelight
and Mr Torren Sylvain's unique staging of Variations on the Death of Trotski

It should be an excellent evening!

No one who speaks German could be an evil man...

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility..


As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".


In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.


The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.


There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.



In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.


Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.


Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.


By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".


During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.


Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.


Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

Three and Twenty Years

Alone, by Maya Angelou

Alone

Lying, thinking
Last night
How to find my soul a home
Where water is not thirsty
And bread loaf is not stone
I came up with one thing
And I don't believe I'm wrong
That nobody,
But nobody
Can make it out here alone.

Alone, all alone
Nobody, but nobody
Can make it out here alone.

There are some millionaires
With money they can't use
Their wives run round like banshees
Their children sing the blues
They've got expensive doctors
To cure their hearts of stone.
But nobody
No, nobody
Can make it out here alone.

Alone, all alone
Nobody, but nobody
Can make it out here alone.

Now if you listen closely
I'll tell you what I know
Storm clouds are gathering
The wind is gonna blow
The race of man is suffering
And I can hear the moan,
'Cause nobody,
But nobody
Can make it out here alone.

Alone, all alone
Nobody, but nobody
Can make it out here alone.

Sometimes I lose sight of how not alone I am.

Jesus had skills, like nunchuck skills

I wouldn't want a round house kick to the face by anyone wearing this.

Don't ask how I found this...let's call it a strange pilgrimage to find amusing Christian T-Shirts instead of finishing my homework.

There's these two as well:
(Something tells me the Christian apparel companies that produced these aren't seeing the irony that I am)









PS: I renamed this post several times.
Alternative titles:
"My Wildest Dreams Have Come True"
"The Stupidest T-Shirt I've Ever Seen (Napeolean, like anyone could ever know that)"
"The Happy Nails Club"
and "Pedro will save you"

"People without imagination shouldn't go to the theatre"

What a great line from Our Country's Good which has really come around, the Acting I class should be commended. I was worried that it was actually going worse than the Acting I workshop last year, but everyone managed to refrain from crying out "God save me" unnecissarily.

A huge thank you to my sound op, Andrew Jack Root, for his help and for keeping me company- even if he didn't get credit in the program.




In "A Streetcar Named Marge" what is the name of the child care centre Maggie is sent to?
BONUS: What role does Lionel Hutz have in the play?

A course of impious stubbourness...

I guess I just remember very well.


Not forgotten and still missed.
Thank you Will. YOU were the one that changed my life.

Kind of like writing a Shakespeare essay...

Lovingly stolen from someone I know quite well.

Here are the rules:

Get an iPod, media player, mix CD, or anything else that randomly selects songs for you. Answer these questions based on the songs that come out of them. What do these songs tell you about yourself?

This is the strangest mix of completely ridiculous and disturbingly accurate songs for these questions.

How does the world see me?
Song: White Moon
Artist: The White Stripes
Comments: Apparently much like Rita Hayworth. This would bode well for my acting career, but I understand she was shy when she was not acting.

Will I have a happy life?
Song: Human Behaviour
Artist: Bjork
Comments: Elusive. Pretty accuarte about my current state of happiness. People can drive me nuts sometimes, but oh to get involved in the exchange of human emotion...

What do my friends really think of me?
Song: The Muppet Show Theme
Artist: The Muppets
Comments: I almost clicked for the next song after laughing a little that this one even came up. But hey- we all share the same dream, and that makes us kind of like a family

Do people secretly lust after me?
Song: Someday You Will Be Loved
Artist: Death Cab for Cutie
Comments: heh... yeah... stupid quiz-thingy thinks it's so smart...

How can I make myself happy?
Song: Isobel
Artist: Bjork
Comments: The answer is pretty much what I thought: a blacklight puppet show.

What should I do with my life?
Song: Eskimo
Artist: Damien Rice
Comments: Clearly I'm going to live in an igloo and ice-fish.

Why is life full of so much pain?
Song: You Talk Way Too Much
Artist: The Strokes
Comments: As guilty as I am of this, people would probably be a lot happier if we listened to each other a lot more, and talked a lot less.

How can I maximize my pleasure during sex?
Song: Thank You Jack White For The Fiber-Optic Jesus That you Gave Me
Artist: The Flaming Lips
Comments: I... um... why... I guess a fiber-optic Jesus. Or Jack White.

Will I ever have children?
Song: Cinders and Smoke
Artist: Iron and Wine
Comments: Perhaps I won't have children but I'll be like a parent looking after someone else's kids.

Will I die happy?
Song: Brian Wilson (live)
Artist: The Barenaked Ladies
Comments: Evidently not.

What is some good advice for me?
Song: With God on Our Side
Artist: Bob Dylan
Comments: God's not on your side. And the US isn't always right.

What is happiness?
Song: In My Life
Artist: The Beatles
Comments: Being happy where you are when you're there, but never forgetting what meant a lot to you in your past.

What is my favourite fetish?
Song: Purple Haze
Artist: Jimi Hendrix
Comments: Well, he did have long hair and played the guitar!

How will I be remembered?
Song: Who Are You?
Artist: The Who
Comments: ... this quiz thingy is over.

I've been drinking.... but not that much... so here's what I think

I run the lights for the funnest play ever. Nay, the BEST play ever. So excellent a play that is to any other play, hyperion to a satyr.

Man it's amazing how nearly a month's worth of (near) mental collapse feels so completely worth it right this second now. When I'm waking up at 6:30 to get the bus to Thorneloe early to scrub the stage floor that everyone's just going to muck up with their shoes anyways, I wonder "Why in heaven's name am I doing this?", but then I see from the lighting booth my friends... Luke, Steph and Andrew especially, acting their hearts out and really creating art. Tonight is the night when it all feels worth it, and I remember why I love theatre so much.

I will never forget this production. If you are reading this and have not already, please come and see this play, it is amazing.
They are the best actors in the world, either for tragedy, comedy, history, pastoral, pastorical-comical...

A little late but...

I found this really amusing. Not amusing enough to buy the T-Shirt, but amusing.

No I will not calm down!

Alright, so let's just say that I haven't been... tranquil as of late. I am sure that fatigue and stress have played a role, but I try not to make excuses. And for the most part I'm sorry that I have been so ill tempered lately. But tonight when my theatre program and current production was being insulted by a certain theatre student who shall remain nameless I got a little upset.
Now perhaps I didn't need to raise my voice or become angry, but quite frankly this guy has had it coming for a while. At any rate, I didn't get a chance to really take my rage out on him because I was apparently upsetting some people with my tone of voice, so my apologies to the blogging community, but a mini-rant was necissary. Fuck people who think that they know everything and that they are too good for Thorneloe! Fuck them right in the ear!



Actually... I feel really good all of a sudden. :)

Facts and figures

When I was five: I talked a kid in my neighborhood into getting on the bus and going to school on the first day.

My mother told me: To keep centred.

There's this girl I know who: never fails to amaze me

I lost: my sanity over the past week.

Last night: I remember surprisingly well given the circumstances.

Once I dreamt: that I had gotten a bunch of work finished. I was really dissappointed when I woke up.

When I listen to music: I think about a story or a scene from my life as if it were a movie.

Last time I was drunk: I was very lady like maintaining my honour and dignity, and did not say anything embarassing or stupid to anyone, nor did I kiss anyone I probably shouldn't have. At least that's what I remember from last night... that's right... right?

Days until my birthday: 19 :D

If I was a character written by Shakespeare I'd be: female- Viola, male- Horatio

By this time next year: I will be just fine at whatever I'm doing, wherever I am.

I have a hard time understanding: My own though processes.

You know I like you if: I say as much.

If I won an award, the first person I'd thank is: Stephanie Woolger, as promised.

Take my advice: this above all- to thine ownself be true, and it must follow as the night the day thou canst not then be false to any man.

My ideal breakfast is: A Buddha Omlette with a fruit cup and flax bread toast

If you visit my hometown: you must be lost. There can't be a good reason you're there.

Why won't anyone: smack some sense into me.

I'd stop my wedding if: Dustin Hoffman ran up to the window and started banging on it shouting "Elaine!" "Elaine!"... who wouldn't?

The world could do without: birds.

My favourite blonde is: Scott ;)

Paper clips are more useful than: beads when making necklaces

And by the way: I much prefer the phrase "by the by".

The animals I would like to see flying besides birds (this is asuming I want birds to fly) are: A whole circus of animals... particularly of the Monty Python variety.

Random fact: Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Chuck Norris can kill 100 percent of whatever the fuck he wants.

I secretly: lied on pretty much every "truth" answer for spin the bottle last night. Sorry.

Am I?

Your Personality Profile

You are sexy, powerful, and bold. You're full of passion and energy... Sometimes this passion has a dark side. You feel most alive when you're seducing someone. You never fail to get someone's attention. Quick minded, you're also quick to lose your temper!

The World's Shortest Personality Test

Sleep rock my brain

Sorry guys, posting has been particularily low on my priorities list as of late. Here's something to tide you over:



This is clearly the only thing that would make our amazing production more amazing... you know elevate it from a 9.3 to a 9.7 (for Claudius).

HAMLET
March 16-19 at Thorneloe University Theatre
Come see it!

No Comments?

Oh man, my blog attendence might actually be worse than I thought... and to think I was going to post naked pictures of myself. Well, I guess since no one's reading there's really no point. Guess I'll just keep posting random stupid crap to amuse myself.

An audience poll

I will post when I have something of value to say. In the meantime... who is reading this? I mean I know a couple of you, but Andrew already has to listen to every dippy thought that comes out of my head most days anyways, and I'm worried Angelo won't comment any more because of my enjoyment of the movie Crash. Please comment :)

Not a complete change in subject I suppose:

An approximated script of a humourous phone conversation from two nights ago-

Steph: I want you to play a patient in the hospital who has a dependent personality disorder. You are very clingy and needy. You depend on other people's praise for your own self confidence and seek others approval before you do anything. You're very indecisive and weak willed.

Liz: You can be committed for that?!

The Aptly Named Sitcom

After an night of pizza, X-Men, I Heart Huckabees, 3AM Star Wars and what was supposed to be work on our scene for Aminta I feel that I should plug Torren's band again. The Sitcom is pretty cool, as is Mr Sylvain for hosting our "rehearsal".
As if they played a gig in the middle of Value Village!

Down with Love

It's official. I'm in love.
Ewan McGregor plays the guitar.
Nissah informed me tonight that she has seen a video of him playing and singing. Apparently his hair isn't that long, but he has some serious scruff going on.
He now officially occupies spot #1 on the Celebrity crushes list.


You see many people are confused. When he says "I will marry you" a lot of people think he's saying "Sandra Templeton", when in fact he is saying "Liz Buchanan".
We just spell and pronounce our names differently.

I am off to bed now... perchance to dream...

Go Canada Go!

Congradulations to the Canadian Women's Hockey team! It was an exciting game, and they made Canada proud.

Congradulations to the Swedish team as well. They played very hard and held their own.

Maybe with the increased international competition we can see more women's hockey on TV. It's the most fun I've had watching hockey in years, and not just because we won.
The Canadian Women are very fast and agressive and play with a lot of heart, something the NHL has less and less of every day. But that's another post for another day.

Way to go Team Canada!

Lists

This wasn't one of those survey-post this on your blog- thingys. As will soon be obvious, this is just the random junk that has burst out of my head tonight... in lists:

Biblical names that don't seem to be as popular for new borns:
-Ham
-Judas
-Abel
-Jezebel
-Goliath
-Lucifer
-Esau

Things I tried to do last night (after The Grand with Erica), that I should not do under the influence of Alexandre Keith's:
-blog (thankfully my senses over-powered my temptation to hit the publish button)
-write poetry
-go through my Hamlet script and cross out various lines and replace them with dialogue from Star Wars
-watch "Drop Zone" (actually this shouldn't be done under ANY circumstances)

Thoughts on current events:
-cartoons don't hurt anyone... that's what VPs are for
-seriously though people, they're just cartoons
-am I a bad Canadian? I'm sorry I just can't help but cheer for the underdogs. The Women's Hockey team has my back, but I was kind of pleasantly amused about Switzerland and Finland against the men

The Next 3 songs that are on my WM playlist:

-Cannonball, Damien Rice
-Someday you will be loved, Death Cab for Cutie
-Not a Pretty Girl, Ani DiFranco

-I think I am going to follow this up with "The Rainbow Connection" for good measure... and happier dreams

The Trash Heep Has Spoken

As I ran backstage (aka behind some plastic trees into the corner) to change from Hansel and Gretel's mother into the evil witch, because only three and a half performers showed up for our show today, I started to think about what was wrong with children's entertainment these days.

Oh no- I just said "these days".

I think it's too bad that a lot children's entertainers feel the need to talk down to kids. It's great to be big and goofy and dramatic to get your point across, but you don't need to dumb things down. Kids are pretty quick, and I think they learn more if you expect more out of them.

Consider that your wisdom for the day.

The Cutest darn Cab of Death

I have recieved a most wonderful of Valentines Day presents:


Thanks Mom! (I also got "Fever to Tell" by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs)

I'm not claiming to have been any more exhausted lately than the rest of the academic community, or even a whole lot more emotionally drained, but it was sure nice to get a Valentines Day present from my Mom. I'm not even that crazy jealous that she's on a cruise ship relaxing right now... mostly. Well she deserves it anyways!
Everyone enjoy your reading week (those of you that actually have one), and try not to "read" too much.

How to dismantle an atomic blog

Stealing the lyric of the week idea. I guess this is more like a "two verses and chorus of the week", but here it is:

Tough, you think you've got the stuff
You're telling me and anyone
You're hard enough

You don't have to put up a fight
You don't have to always be right
Let me take some of the punches
For you tonight

Listen to me now
I need to let you know
You don't have to go it alone

And it's you when I look in the mirror
And it's you when I don't pick up the phone
Sometimes you can't make it on your own

Round two

What is Ralph's "pick up line" when he walks Lisa home from school?

Bonus: Which American president served only 30 days of his term before dying in office?

Top 10

I can't believe it took me this long to realize that I could use my blog to post my top 10 Simpson's episode list.




10. Marge vs The Monorail
9. "Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala (Annoyed Grunt) cious"
8. The Boy Who Knew Too Much
7. Das Bus
6. A Star is Burns
5. 22 Short Films About Springfield
4. Cape Feare
3. Lisa the Vegetarian
2. Rosebud
1. Grandpa vs Sexual Inadequesy


Simpson's Trivia challenge:

Who is the famous person for whom Alison creates the anagram "Geniune Class"?

*Bonus: Anyone that can think of an anagram for Jeremy Irons. It has been bugging me for a decade.

Foursomes

FOUR JOBS I'VE HAD:
1. Subway Sandwich Artist
2. Tim Horton's Coffee Hostess
3. SARS Screener
4. Easter Seals Camp Counsellor

FOUR MOVIES I CAN WATCH OVER AND OVER:
1. The Iron Giant
2. All 3 Monty Python movies
3. Star Wars Episodes 3-6
4. Big Fish
(alright, that was definatly cheating)

FOUR PLACES I HAVE LIVED:
1. Hamilton
2. York
3. Peterborough
4. Sudbury

FOUR TV SHOWS I LOVE:
1. The Daily Show
2. South Park
3. Clone High
4. Hockey Night in Canada (for non-betting purposes)

FOUR OF MY FAVOURITE DISHES:
1. Vegetarian Quesidillas
2. Quizno's Veggie sub
3. Egg Plant Lasagna
4. the Cauliflower and Cheese stuff my mom makes+Dad's Ceasar Salad

FOUR PLACES I WOULD RATHER BE RIGHT NOW:
1. Hawaii
2. Australia
3. Mexico
4. Pretty much anywhere warm

FOUR FAVOURITE QUOTES FROM THE SIMPSONS:
1. "Duffman can't die, only the actors who play him!"-Duffman
2. I was trying not to do any repeats, but this one HAS to go in:
"Mom! Mom! I got gum in my hair!"
"Are you sure it's not shampoo? Because that washes right out." - Lisa & Marge Simpson
3. "Well, he's kind of had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog."
"Really?" "Actually, replace 'accidentally' with 'repeatedly' and replace 'dog' with 'son'"- Lionel Hutz and Marge
4. "Lets just say it moved me. To a bigger house! Oh crap, I said the loud part quiet and the quiet part loud." -Krusty the Clown

OK- I have changed this list 3 times now. I must stop or I will be here all night... wait a moment... that give me an idea...

"Go Away"
"Here's a Better Sign Dad" ("See the Elephant $2 Ride the Elephant $5")
"I don't have time to read it, just give me the general gist of it"

In the Noh

I'm trying to contain myself. We are doing a workshop production of Tasso's Aminta, an Italian Renaissance pastoral play, and we are using different styles for each scene. One of my scenes is being done in the style of Japanese Noh Theatre. I am getting a fan and a kimono and everything! I will have to repeat this mantra of happiness to get me through today. Now off to the cafeteria to find vegetarian food, or more likely a lack thereof :(

I would not could not kill a king, I would not poison anything

Froid's Edible complex: Realizing that you can't eat Hamlet because the play is rotten.

Seems as logical as anything we do in Shakespeare class. The articles we're using to discuss theories about the plays all have essentially the same theme, none of which have brought me any closer to understanding the stories, characters or language of Shakespeare than I was before I started the class.

Hmmm, should I make this one a new historical work, or a pycho-sexual feminist play?

Hot Chocolate and Ifs

There's a cold breeze in my apt, and I can't figure out where it's coming from.
#$%&! it's cold! I'm off to grab some hot chocolate.

In the meantime...

If I were a month I would be: March
If I were a day of the week I would be: Wednesday
If I were a time of day I would be: 1:37 (anyone that gets that reference gets 10000 bonus points)
If I were a planet I would be: Mars ("to get more chocolate bars")
If I were a sea animal I would be: a manitee (I used to sponsor a manitee in Florida)
If I were a direction I would be: east
If I were a piece of furniture I would be: a big comfy chair
If I were a sin I would be: Gluttony (incidently a part I won an award at the Sears drama festival)
If I were an historical figure I would be: Socrates
If I were a liquid I would be: green tea
If I were a tree, I would be: A maple tree. (Go Leafs Go!)
If I were a flower/plant: an orchid
If I were a kind of weather, I would be: right before it rains
If I were a musical instrument, I would be: a xylophone
If I were an animal, I would be: a Lizard
If I were a color, I would be: red
If I were a vegetable, I would be: a brussel sprout
If I were a sound, I would be: a B-min chord on an accoustic guitar
If I were an element, I would be: Germanium. Ask me to tell you about Germanium sometime, using sock puppets.
If I were a car, I would be: a 1964 Ford T-Bird
If I were a song, I would be: "The Rainbow Connection"
If I were a movie, I would be directed by: Terry Gilliam
If I were a book, I would be written by: John Irving
If I were a food, I would be: a strawberry
If I were a place, I would be: Greece
If I were a material, I would be: polyester
If I were a taste, I would be: bitter sweet
If I were a scent, I would be: vanilla
If I were a word, I would be: perplexed
If I were an object, I would be: a garden gnome
If I were a body part I would be: just above the cheek bone in the outer corner of the eye
If I were a facial _expression I would be: amused
If I were a cartoon character I would be: Joan from Clone High
If I were a shape I would be a: square
If I were a number I would be: 14
If I were a disease I would be: a gold rush era disease. Like dysentary

A Budding Physicist

Now some will claim that I overheard the answer from Michael Emond at rehearsal this evening, but to be clear, I had not attempted the riddle yet and I pursued the riddle from a totally logic based stand-point: thus I did not rule out certain possibilities on the basis that I knew what the final answer was. I managed to work out the owner of each house and each owner's characteristics, and thus I would have been able to solve the riddle without Emond's help. Having the mental capacity to do so apparently classifies me as one of the top 2% smartest people in the world.

I would like to say that if this is true... the world is screwed. Totally screwed.


Albert Einstein’s Riddle

Are you in the top 2% of intelligent people in the world? Solve the riddle and find out.

There are no tricks, just pure logic, so good luck and don’t give up.

1. In a street there are five houses, painted five different colours.
2. In each house lives a person of different nationality.
3. These five homeowners each drink a different kind of beverage, smoke a different brand of cigar and keep a different pet.


The question: Who owns the fish?

Answer:

1. The Brit lives in a red house.
2. The Swede keeps dogs as pets.
3. The Dane drinks tea.
4. The green house is on the left of the white house.
5. The owner of the green house drinks coffee.
6. The person who smokes Pall Mall rears birds.
7. The owner of the yellow house smokes Dunhill.
8. The man living in the centre house drinks milk.
9. The Norwegian lives in the first house.
10. The man who smokes Blends lives next to the one who keeps cats.
11. The man who keeps horses lives next to the man who smokes Dunhill.
12. The man who smokes Blue Master drinks beer.
13. The German smokes Prince.
14. The Norwegian lives next to the blue house.
15. The man who smokes Blends has a neighbour who drinks water.

Albert Einstein wrote this riddle early during the 19th century. He said that 98% of the world’s population would not be able to solve it.

Year of the Dog

Today is the Chinese New Year. This is the year of the dog.

Furthermore, I have discovered that those born on January 29th of 1983 are also born in the year of the dog.

(from astrology.com... can you really get a more reliable source?)


In the West, the Dog is man's best friend, but in Chinese Astrology this Sign is a little more unpredictable than that. Dogs are loyal, faithful and honest and always stick to their firm codes of ethics. However, this Sign has trouble trusting others. It's generally quite trustworthy itself, the Dog makes a wonderful, discreet and loyal friend and is an excellent listener. This Sign tends to root for the underdog and its keen sense of right and wrong makes it duty-bound to the core. The Dog's mantra seems to be, Live right, look out for the little people and fight injustice whenever possible.

Dogs can also be rather dogmatic, too. They don't go in for light social banter; instead, they go straight for home, expostulating on the topics that are most important to them. This Sign can also be very temperamental; mood swings characterize its emotional life and often the Dog needs to run off to be alone in order to recuperate. Part of the problem is the result of this Sign's load of irrational fears that turn into niggling anxieties that turn into hurt feelings and occasional grouchiness. This sensitive Sign needs to warm up to others over time and gradually learn to trust them. The Dog's discerning nature does make it an excellent business person, one who can turn that picky, guarded nature into a keen sense of the truth of another's motives.

In any forum, this Sign is happiest when able to be quite physically active; at home or at work, the Dog will always be constructing something new or cleaning something up in order to make things better.

The most compatible match for a Dog is the Tiger or the Horse.



Happy Chinese New Year

and Happy Birthday Andrew :)

Oh Whoa it's me!

my current WMplaylist (which is being shown instead of my "private message"):

Idiot Wind
Trouble
Me and a Gun
I Just Don't know what to do with myself
Grace is gone
Undone
I still haven't found what I'm looking for
I might be wrong
Caring is creepy
Semi Charmed Life
Don't get down
High and dry
All these things that I've done
Let it be
Another brick in the wall

I plan on playing this loop all night.

*************************************************

Sorry- this post might make more sense if you go here.

For OUR education?

Watch The Manhattan Project.

Since when do you grow beef? I guess I don't get "cowboy" slang.

Personally I wanted to hear more about the garage door.

Oh that this too too crappy blog would be better...

Night Off

Here's the thing about rehearsal being cancelled: I don't have anything better to do. I have specifically organized my life so that I don't really have anything better to do. Yes, I got a little homework done, but all in all... here I sit, pondering my belly-button lint, trying to con my responsible friends into slacking off tonight (to no avail thus far as they are clearly a lot less lazy than I am).

I'm not great at killing time on my own. I think this is a skill I need to develop. Perhaps tonight is the night. I know! I will figure out who I'm going to vote for! I will spend the night reading about the political candidates in my riding, visiting their websites to find out each party's platform...
(ok I seriously had to leave that thought process in there, just so that you can see why I suddenly realized what a stupid idea that was).

Hm- this might suck less. Not a lot less, but less.

Here's the thing about rehearsal being cancelled: I don't have anything better to do. I have specifically organized my life so that I don't really have anything better to do. Yes, I got a little homework done, but all in all... here I sit, pondering my belly-button lint, trying to con my responsible friends into slacking off tonight (to no avail thus far as they are clearly a lot less lazy than I am).

I'm not great at killing time on my own. I think this is a skill I need to develop. Perhaps tonight is the night. I know! I will figure out who I'm going to vote for! I will spend the night reading about the political candidates in my riding, visiting their websites to find out each party's platform...
(ok I seriously had to leave that thought process in there, just so that you can see why I suddenly realized what a stupid idea that was).

Hm-

Saturday, January 14, 2006

Psycho-analyze this!

I haven't blogged in a while and I can't think of anything to write, which is probably a good indication of just what's going on inside my head right now: A whole lot of nothing.


you look like a photograph of yourself
taken from far far away
i won't know what to do
i won't know what to say

Or maybe there's a lot going on in my head, and I'm keeping it all to myself for a change. You know, like I'm mysterious.


You do it to yourself, you do
And that's what really hurts
Is that you do it to yourself
Just you and no-one else

I think I remember once saying "I'm the least mysterious person I know!"

One delusion of grandeur meets another

I haven't really seen any of the movies that will (likely) be nominated, but there is no way I am missing the Oscars this year. My boyfriend Jon Stewart is hosting. I will have to make special mention of him in my acceptence speech.

Took me WAY too long to do this

Ani Difranco

Are you male or female?:

quick someone call the girl police
and file a report!

Describe yourself:

I am not a pretty girl,
that is not what I do.
I ain't no damsel in distress
and I don't need to be rescued

How do some people feel about you?:

i'm too easy to roll over
i'm too easy to wreck
i just write about
what i should have done
i just sing
what i wish i could say

How do you feel about yourself?:

It took me too long to realize
that I don't take good pictures 'cause I have
the kind of beauty that moves

Describe what you want:

so no matter what i think i need
you know i can't possibly
have a need in this world

Describe how you live:

i wonder if everything i do
i do instead
of something i want to do more
the question fills my head
i know there's no grand plan here
this is just the way it goes
when everything else seems unclear
i guess at least i know
i do it for the joy it brings
because i'm a joyful girl

Describe how you love:

it's rock paper scissors as to whether
i will get over you at all
it's hand against hand and both hands are mine

Share a few words of wisdom:

art may imitate life
but life imitates t.v.

A Surprisingly Not-Crappy Day

Feeling a little better about school all and all- Not quite as self-pitying/ self-absorbed as I was or usually am, which is always a good step.

I was really dreading acting class today. Truthfully I have been dreading this class since before Christmas holidays. Acting was stressing me out unbelievably and I really wasn't enjoying myself. Today, however, I felt good about something I did on stage for the first time in a little over a month. It was just a small thing, but it's a little boost of confidence that I needed. I wasn't feeling like I was actually capable of doing this realism scene, or quite frankly, that I was capable of doing any scene. I just really haven't been in the mood for acting for a while now, something that I hadn't really experienced before. I was glad that I was off book better than I thought for the scene and that I made some actual character progress. Sarah (the TA) is also really great for positive feedback and criticism, so that helped a lot.

I was also kind of dreading Shakespeare class today. 1) Because we were getting a bunch of assignments and crap back, 2) Because of the three vaccant desks surrounding my own, 3) Because I was quite worried we would be quizzed on Anthony and Clepatra, which I recently discovered can not be entirely read in one hour. But this also turned out to be a pretty great class. I got an A on my essay, which is pretty damn exciting. I've never actually gotten an A on "real" essay before, so that was kind of neat.

I rounded off my day by accompanying Steph to Human Evolution (a class that I took two years ago but for SOME reason :P really wanted to re-visit).

Now I am making up a costume plot and trying to figure out what to do for my autorama.
The autorama is supposed to be a one person play (performed by each student) about our own lives. Not that I've ever had a lot of trouble making my life the centre of everyone's attention, but to make my life actually worth watching for 6 minutes may prove more difficult than simply telling random stories everyone's heard five hundred times.

Speaking of going on at length about my life, I think shall finish off this post and go try to do something productive. The rest is silence.

(PS: I love using that to randomly end things that I otherwise have no ending for)

If I were a Bunny. And not the Playboy type.

hi. cram it.



Who's Your Happy Bunny?
brought to you by Quizilla

Nerdiness

As an official Stratford Festival "Play-on" member I got a copy of the visitor's guide in the mail. This season is kind of exciting. They will be doing Much Ado About Nothing, Twelfth Night (which is quickly becoming a favourite) and Henry IV part 1 which I only just recently read (not quite in time for class, but just in time for the exam I might add). If I got really ambitious I could actually see all three plays in two days on Labour Day weekend. Although I suppose that might even be too much Shakespeare for me.




Nah.

Peace on Earth, Goodwill to All

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanuhkah, and a great New Year!

Spreading some holiday cheer

If you haven't had a chance to watch this yet, chech out Romance of the Jedi.

It's been a while since I did a Christmas memory, so I thought that in honour of Jenny and Andrew's journey home tomorrow morning I would tell my most recent of favourite Christmas memories.

Around this time last year I got an idea. I thought that since I had friends with a vehicle, surely one of them could give me a ride home (or the general area there-abouts) for Christmas. But as it turned out the only one leaving any time around the date that I wanted to go home was Andrew, who lives all the way in Peterborough. On his way, however, he was going to go through Orillia. Ontario Northland runs a bus out of Orillia, to get to Hamilton it costs about $20. But the last bus of the night leaves at 8pm. We were supposed to leave Sudbury at around 11am, but for SOME reason Andrew's 1972 Comet was having trouble starting when it was -50 or so without the windchill. So after a day of he and Steph trying to get this car running we got out of town at exactly 5pm, giving us JUST enough time to get to Orillia.
This year had also been the first year that I had ever been able to watch Christmas specials with friends (most of my friends in high school thought I was a little odd... more so) and we had been reciting a lot of lines from these specials such as "This is man's work" (clop clop) and of course "Careful of the icy patch!". Sure enough driving down highway 69 we were not careful of the icy patch. In the old Comet full of luggage and presents, Nora on my lap, we hit an icy patch and spun out across the highway into a snow bank. The snow bank of course had a rock in it which the Comet got stuck on.
Fortunatly, no one (including Nora) was hurt but we were a little alarmed that we were stranded on the side of the highway about 45min north of Parry Sound (AKA the middle of nowhere). We quipped several times that if we were in a Christmas special surely Santa would have come by now to pull us to safety. We did however have a lot of help including several people that turned around to see if we were OK, and a tow-truck driver that got us out of there in less than 3 hours (as had been previously predicted). When we were retrieved from the snow and got to Parry Sound we read the McDonald's menus that had lists of "What to bring on a Winter roadtrip" including such useful items as "a first aid kit", "cell phone", "extra food", "warm clothes" and other useful things that we of course did not have.
A lot of things could have gone wrong on our adventure, and all and all we were pretty lucky. I managed to stay calm and collected in the car (miraculously) and Andrew brought me home with him to Peterborough, where I met the Root clan. (I believe the first thing his brother said to me was "so you actually choose to be friends with Andrew?").

Have a safe trip guys! And have a Merry Christmas!

Happy Winter Solstice

For those of you that haven't been following the war on Christmas check out the "Secular Central" video from the Daily Show last week.

It's kind of exhausting actually...

Sir are you wearing a paper bag?

Homer: I have misplaced my pants


The belt buckle on my last pair of functional pants broke off. While it's very nice to have lost some weight and have the rest of my pants falling off of me, it has created a small wardrobe dilema. I went shopping today (something which I hate to do for myself before Christmas), and I managed to get two pairs of decent pants and a dress shirt for $50. And so thankfully I will not be pantless next semester- though I had been seriously considering just wearing my short skirt to school everyday...

A Tribute to Lakewood

(Yes, I'm sorry. This is a series of in-jokes that are funny to only me and two-ish people reading this. My apologies.)

The grassy knoll
High and Dry
I was saying Boo-urns
Snort!

Immediate dismissal, and
Starting something compotently (both things you can do on a beach)

Swea-ea-eat shirt. Redhooded Swea-ea-eat Shirt.
Hour-long search and rescue
I spy with my little eye... a tractor!
The one that wants to be with you
Ending Futures, Destroying Lives: Bakewood

Yes my old camp is going to be no more, because... well that's another rant for another day. I'm sure some chump in the Niagara region will make great use of the beach front property with fully accessible cabins and paved pathways. Such is life.

I suppose MY Lakewood era ended sometime ago, but it's kind of hard to wrap my head around it really being gone. I guess it's strangely appropriate right now...
Pre-emptive apologies to my friends at school who will now have to endure all of my old camp stories as part of my sulking.

I have been really touched by all of the amazing staff and campers I worked with in my four years at Lakewood. I miss so many of them and I often think about everyone and how they are doing. I guess all there is to say is...
Thanks for the day campers!

Blogging politics...

And so in a single day the election was lost once again by the conservatives:

http://www.cbc.ca/canadavotes/leadersparties/harper_speech.html

This might explain it best

I've spent the last few weeks blogging random holiday memories. Each of them sort of a tribute to why this holiday means a great deal to me. I think though, that this particular holiday memory is the most significant.

It will be sixteen years ago today that my Grandfather passed away. It was an unexpected loss in my family and was very difficult for everyone. It was especially tough that it happened so close to Christmas. My Grandfather was a deacon in the Anglican Church, and Christmas was his favourite time of year. My mother often tells me stories about how much he loved the holidays, and there is now a Christmas stained glass window at the church in his memory. My last memory of him is having him come to see me in a Christmas pagent playing Santa Clause.

I was only six years old at the time, with no real concept of death or loss. I can't even imagine how difficult it was for my family. I say that because I had no idea how difficult it was for my family. They worked so hard at being strong through out the holiday for me that I have no bad memories of that Christmas whatsoever. My parents and Grandma and Aunts worked so hard at still making Christmas a happy time of year for me then, that I don't associate the holiday with sadness or pain. I do have some sad memories about the funeral and visitation and other stuff, but I mostly remember that Christmas still came.

Some how or other it came just the same.

I'll take S-words for $500

Confession of a bad femenist: Sometimes I wish I was a boy.
Today as I sat (wearing my Grandfather's old clothes) in the theatre wanting to swing swords around with the guys- and turning to Ian and saying "Oh we learned that in grade 11 PhysEd"- I was once again struck by this thought. This tomboy-thing has lessened considerably in the last few years. My Saturday nights are no longer dictated by Hockey Night in Canada, I no longer feel the need to CHUG beer, and I've even worn a skirt to school... once I think... Ah but today. I wanted to learn to sword fight!
I'm not an overly violent person, I just LOVE swords. And I was absolutely on cloud nine when Paul, the fencing instructor let me join in.

en garde...

THRUST!

SWING!

PARRY!

STAB! STAB! STAB!

Although I have no practical use for it, I now know the BASICS of stage combat with foils. I am certain that at some point I can learn to extend this to broadswords and lightsabers when necissary. Maybe I can play Viola someday and actually do the fight scene...

I guess I don't have to be a boy to have fun with swords :)

Six Geese A-Laying

Rather than finish my production journals...


When I was in grade 6 I was in our classes's Christmas Assempbly play "The Twelve Days of Christmas". I got selected to play Six Geese a-Laying, which meant that for six verses I pretended (dressed as a goose) to go into labour on stage and drop a small plastic egg (one of those ones that they used to put nylons in) out from between my legs. While some twelve year olds may have been embaressed to do such a thing, I just enjoyed being the centre of attention on stage :) Thankfully that need has since left me.

Very Fortunate

I have tried to write this like six times. I don't think I have words for what I want to say right now.

Here are some pictures instead:



I have a new great card on my dresser.



I can see why my friend likes this show so much.



She's a pretty extraordinary girl.



I actually know a few extraordinary girls.



I wish you had been in the empty seat at the concert...



So damn lucky...



We're gonna be friends...



The lovers, the dreamers and me.

The most fun I've ever had at the JN Desmaris Library

I probably only think that this is funny because of my most recent post, and possibly sleep deprivation... but do you know the letters for the call number in the Library of Congress classification system for the Bible?

BS.

Yes every library using the Library of Congress classification system (like every major library in North America) has the bible classified as BS!
I went to look it up on the electronic catalogue and snickered the entire way to the second floor.

I wonder if the Dewey Decimal system has it as 666? Probably not.


For my Christmas story today, I just have a message to my father...

You've ruined the winter solstice!


(my brother and I like to tell my father that he's ruined various holidays for no apparent reason... it started with the ruining of Christmas, but he's already done that this year)