You can take this job and fill it!

I am officially bidding a fond(ish) farewell to The Keefer Mansion Inn. It's been... a job anyways. Had it's ups and downs like any, but it is ultimately time to move on. I got two shifts this week, one tonight from 11-7 and another on Thursday morning at 7am. I don't know how they expect anyone to support themselves on two shifts a week, and they must because it's almost impossible to juggle a second job when you're flipping back and forth between overnights and early mornings (ie; I had to work at 1pm on Saturday and had to be woken up forcefully at 11:30am because I hadn't been able to sleep until 7am).

So there it is. As I bid the Mansion a fond farewell, I think back the last six months of my life.

- I had the lead female role in a Shakespearean comedy. (crossed off the Life's ToDo list)

- I went to the Lollapalooza music festival in Chicago (crossed off the Life's ToDo list after realizing that it should have been on there all along)

- I volunteered at the Toronto International Film Festival and got to see a couple of foreign films that will probably never make it to mainstream cinema

- I overcame my fear of birds (and can watch people bite fabric without freaking)

- In the past three weeks I have lost 5 pounds as a result of healthy eating and moderate exercise. I haven't been able to say that in years.


Not everything has been this great. In fact lots of stuff has been tougher that I imagined. One of my personal struggles (that pretty much everyone reading this is already painfully aware of) is a preoccupation with my being "strong". I often worry about being a weak person, and sometimes excessively worrying about this compounds my problems far beyond what they actually are. So I needed to get my head wrapped around that, and I think that since my move here I have had some real success doing that.

But now it's time to move away and shine :) I will be everything I've ever dreamed, but maybe I don't need to accomplish all of my goals right this minute now. Maybe what I need to do is take my time and live for the moment.

I am applying to York University, the Stratford Conservatory Program and the National Theatre School and a neat little program at Flemming College called The Expressive Arts. I will also apply to McMaster University for the Child Life Specialist program, Humber College and Algonquin College for the accelerated Child and Youth Worker Program. I have a couple of different ideas of what I'd like to do, including working with at risk youth by introducing them to theatre (specifically Shakespeare) and doing theatre work with children with physical disabilities. I also hope to audition for the Stratford Festival, attend the Atlantic Theatre Company training program, or pursure some other exciting acting opportunities.

I think I enjoy learning about acting even more than I actually enjoy acting. It's the process and the struggle and being pushed that motivates me more than the performance (darn that Val!). This is one of the reasons why I didn't enjoy my experience this summer as much as I thought I would.

So I've analyzed, and thought to death and there it is. I know where I am right now, I have at least some idea of where I'm going, and I'm a lot happier with myself now than I was. Now it's time to just be happy the way I know best, and go back to listening to my heart. My head isn't that reliable anyways.