Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Top 5 Everythings for the Decade

My "friends" over at Cracked (really for how often I link them they ought to be sending me Christmas cards) wrote an article The Top 5 Everything of the Decade (for better or worse) that I am (naturally) going to copy. As there is only one member of my writing staff I'm just going to use my multiple personalities to pick five things in each category.

Personality A= Artistic, occasionally snobbish, concerned with aesthetic appeal and how clever the pick makes me look
Personality B= Concerned with the wider implications, political significance and cultural impact
Personality C= Comedic hack, only that which is funny is worth seeing, mind of a 12 year old
Personality D= Party on! That was so much fun! Seriously, who needs to be 12 when I can do/watch/listen to THIS?
Personality E= Concerned with that which warms my heart, the "Blue" aspect of my "True Colours" and the F in my "ENFP" Myers-Briggs

I'll start today with #9-7

#9 Top Movies

A (Artist) sigh... I can't believe I'm resorting to this already...

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004) & Lost in Translation (2003)

Look give the Artistic side of me a break in this category. Where else (apart from music) will it get to show off its goddamned cleverness? Also I actually bought these movies as a set when I got them on DVD so... yeah. Look they're both really awesome films and probably two of the best in the past 10 years. I have a whole list of other choices meant to nourish my inner film geek (Amelie, Mulhullond Drive, The Royal Tenenbaums, The Departed, The Dark Knight, Stranger than Fiction... this is really a list in and of itself... I'll get back to you) but these two stand out because frankly I've yet to read a top 10, 5, 2 list that didn't include them on it somewhere, and really can't think of anyone I've spoken to or showed them to that didn't like them. I truly felt as though the characters were very real and that somewhere outside of the film their story goes on... we just got the boring bits cut out.

B (Philosopher)

Brokeback Mountain (2005)

And I will defend it as such:

Trey Parker and Matt Stone said it best in a Rolling Stone interview when they were asked Team America: World Police would have any effect on the 2004 Election. To paraphrase: "Anyone who changes their vote because of Team America is an idiot. And anyone who changes their vote because of Fahrenheit 9/11 is an idiot. These are movies, they shouldn't change who you think should be president"

And they didn't. I don't care what anyone says, nobody voted for John Kerry because of Michael Moore and no one voted for George Bush because they thought he was a dick (as opposed to a pussy or an asshole that is). Bowling for Columbine: ditto. Yes they were movies that caused controversy and uproar, but neither really changed the way anyone felt about anything.

One could also make an argument on behalf of An Inconvenient Truth for its impact on the environmentalist movement in the 00s, but as the above Cracked article points out so brilliantly it simply made it fashionable to care about the planet in a totally non-committal, inactive sort of way. See the recent mess that was (and will continue to be) Copenhagen.

Since 2006 there has been a 4% increase in America's view of the morality of Homosexuality and in nearly every other category reflecting homophobia and with the issue of same sex marriage there is a noticeable bump from 05-06 to 07-08. Now I'm not saying that Dick Cheney's powerful "I'm staying out of this" or Barack Obama's dodging the subject nearly all together didn't influence this... OK actually yes I am. I mean unless every gay man saved Homer Simpson with a robotic Santa from December 2005-December 2006, I'm going to go ahead and make the leap that having a movie that maturely portrayed the complex and tragic love story of two gay men probably had an impact on the overall culture and it's open-mindedness.

Huh- at the last minute my Philosophical side has changed its mind and thinks that actually Crash did more to promote open mindedness and in fact deserves this spot.

Did not see that coming.

C (Comedian)

Idiocracy (2006)

This almost went in the previous category, because in many ways it is about a wider social and political issue: anti-intellectualism and the dumbing down of America through reality TV, technology, and a general apathy by the public towards the arts, language, science and meaningful political discourse. Although personally I'd like to see Starbucks take the direction it does in the film. I wouldn't really miss the coffee to be honest.

D (Partier)

Kill Bill Vol. 1&2 (2003&2004)

Sometimes movies are brilliantly acted and written, some are visually spectacular and then there are movies that are just damn fun. Though I prefer the first both Kill Bill 1&2 are hours of pure entertainment for every woman who's ever wanted to pick up a samurai sword and kick some serious ass. I will never forget sitting in the theatre where about a half an hour into the first movie a couple in front of us got up and left. I turned to my boyfriend at the time and whispered "Well I would expect better from Quentin Tarantino!"

PS: I've been using this quote for so long, I have forgotten the Simpsons quote I stole it from. Anyone who can tell me: 3 gajillion Liz Points.

E (Romantic)

Little Miss Sunshine (2007)

This had some stiff competition in Wall-E, Juno and Once but ultimately wins out because it really taps into my greatest insecurities and makes me feel all together OK about them. High school... life it's all one big beauty pageant. In a world that only seems to get more superficial as the new millennium proceeds. But if you can find what makes you happy, and share that with the people that you love... what the hell difference does it make if you're Miss America or a Super Freak.

I'll take that with two scoops of ice cream.

#8 Top Songs

A (Artist)

Maps, The Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Fever to Tell 2003

This was definitely a close call to the end. Again, being an artistic category, my artist feels the need to make honourable mentions to The White Stripes for Hotel Yorba, Feist for I Feel it All, Iron and Wine for The Trapeze Swinger and The Arcade Fire for Wake Up. Maps rises above for being the best of everything the early to mid 2000s had to offer in a sort of musical renaissance. Sure the Strokes, White Stripes and Hives were all kicking off the decade with a bang, but it's when Fever to Tell hits that there is finally a wider realization that rock is in fact not at all dead and our generation still gets a crack at it. We may not have managed to surpass the late 60s/early 70s, but I think we gave a valiant effort... and a WAY more valiant effort than the losers who were in charge of music coolness in the late 90s. I mean WTF. Really.

Incidentally the YouTube music video for Maps has been watched over 5 millions times. You probably don't want me to put that into perspective... but here it is anyways:

That's only a million more than "Keyboard Cat".
It has been seen 3 million less times than "Leave Britney Alone"
About a fifth as much as "Chocolate Rain".

B (Philosopher)

Not Ready to Make Nice, The Dixie Chicks, Taking the Long Way (2006)

Apart from winning the Grammy for record, album, and song of the year four years after it was anticipated that the Dixie Chicks may never record another album, there's no avoiding the controversy that the Chicks caused. For those who were hiding under a rock in 2003 Natalie Maines said something to the effect of "I hate America and the troops. Things would be so much better if we let the terrorists win and were friends with Saddam Houssein" ... oh I'm sorry my mistake. She said that she was ashamed that the President was from Texas. You know because he's an idiot. Well in 2003 calling Bush shameful was the equivalent of declaring a jihad. Now I bet you could get Bill O'Reilly to admit that Bush wasn't really the sharpest pencil in the box (and have Sting play him off calmly!). But back then it meant war, and also marked the second time that a high profile person was threatened with assassination in Dallas, and the first time the Dallas police did anything about it.

Either way, the Chick's comeback was a great vindication for everyone that had stayed with them the whole way that the political tides were finally turning. You know after no WMDs were found, Abu Gharib prison, Hurricane Katrina and Dick Cheney shooting a guy in the face, the American public finally decided that it was OK to not 100% agree with their elected officials. And they all lived happily ever after, the end.

C (Comedian)

The Most Beautiful Girl in the Room, Flight of the Conchords, Flight of the Conchords (2008)

The Flight of the Conchords may not have a wider social or even musical message, but I don't know a lot of people who don't own the Season 1 DVD. I could have picked Robots or Bowie, or even Mutha'uckas , but being me I had to go with my favourite lyrics:

Cause you're so beautiful...
Like a tree. Or a high class prostitute.
You're so beautiful.
You could be a part time model.
But you'd probably still have to keep your normal job.
A part time model.
Spend part of your time modeling.
And part of your time next to me.

My place is usually a bit tidier than this.

D (Partier)

Hey-ya, Outkast, SpeakerBoxxx/The Love Below

Being a partying category this one also had some competition from Gnarls Barkley's Crazy, Mr. Brightside by The Killers, Last Nite by The Strokes and Viva la Vida by Coldplay (not necissarily a partying song, but a good time none the less)

E (Romantic)

I Will Follow You Into The Dark, Death Cab for Cutie, Plans (2005)

I think this is fairly self-explanatory.

#7 TV Show of the Decade

A (Artistic)

The Office (UK)

Two important points. Yes the UK version because without it there is no US version and even before the US version aired the effects of the original were beginning to be felt. Sure Steve Carrell and Greg Daniels should probably be sending Stephen Merchant and Ricky Gervais annual thank you notes, but frankly Larry David, Michael Hurwitz, Bill Lawrence and Tina Fey should probably at least think about a Facebook poke. And even if you want to argue that the only definite result of Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant's brilliance is The UK and US Office and Extras, you would still be naming 3 of the top 5 Comedies of the last 10 years.

B (Philosophical)

Now for our second total cop-out tie: "The Daily Show" & "Chapelle's Show"

I just couldn't do it. I would love to give Jon the win, but I can't. And let me show you why:

Chapelle's Show pushed our generation past the politically correct "tolerance" we'd been raised with to a new and frank place where it was OK to acknowledge that yes, racism exists and pretty fervently, and that we have to face it in real ways that might not always make us feel as warm and fuzzy as a Family Matters episode. Four years later America has its first African American president, something that seemed, in the darkest hours of the Bush years a long way off. That said the show will most likely always be remembered for Rick James' pathological hatred of Charlie Murphy and Wayne Brady making OJ Simpson look like Martin Luther King Jr.

Oh also this guy kind of stirred up some shit:

C (Comedian)

Arrested Development(2003)

This time I'm giving the hack comedian in me some honourable mentions because let's face it, there's very little TV I like to watch that isn't funny. Arrested Development doesn't really require defending the way Clone High or Spaced might, because there's pretty much a consensus on the internet that the show did no wrong, and will do no wrong as a movie. I would also like to submit South Park. Though also a candidate for the above category often South Park is at its best when it isn't about a major social issue and is about the boys playing LOTR or Cartman dressing up as a robot pal for Butters.

As for Arrested Development, I like to think that Never Nudes have forever replaced Ugly Naked Guy in TVdome.

D (Partier)

Firefly (2003)

Althogh I admired BSG a great deal it was never really as much fun as Firefly. Whedon is the writer/director that many emulate, but I don't think anyone ever really nails his great use of comedy in totally unfunny situations. I loved the energy and the characters are the sort that one hopes will kick some serious ass.

E (Romantic)

"Scrubs" (2001)

What can I say? If this isn't love I don't know what is:

OK, that's all I can manage for today. See you tomorrow for: Internet Video, Word (phrase) and Video Game

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Movies, Hockey and Happiness

T'was the night before the night before Christmas and all through my blog, I was ripping off College Humour and drinking egg nog.

Also the Penguins beat the Senators 8-2! Here's a picture of Sidney Crosby throwing an awesome body check*. Toronto lost tonight, but the Pen's victory balances that out. For those not familiar with my Hockey Happiness Rankings:

Hockey Happiness

10 being the best, 0 being the worst

10= Leafs win Stanley cup
9.5= My second favourite team wins the Stanley Cup (ie: '97 Red Wings, '09 Penguins)
9.0= Leafs go to Final Four
8.5= The Leafs beat the Senators, Flyers or Rangers
8.0= Leafs win a play off series
7.5= The Leafs win a hockey game
7.0= The Penguins beat the Senators, Flyers or the Rangers
6.5= Leafs catch-up and tie a game
6.0= Any team beats the Senators
5.5= Tie Domi injures a jerk player (Scott Neidermeyer, Ulf Samuelson)
5.0= Leafs lose in shoot-out to Penguins (unless significant lead blown)
4.5= Leafs lose a game
4.0= Senators, Flyers or Rangers win a game
3.5= Cliff Fletcher is the Leaf's GM
3.0= Hamilton is denied an NHL hockey franchise
2.5= The Senators, Flyers or Rangers win a playoff series
2.0= Kerry Fraser fails to see a freaking obvious high stick
1.5= The Flyers or Rangers beat Toronto in the Playoffs**
1.0= Sean Avery is traded to the Toronto Maple Leafs
0.5= The Leafs lose game 7 of the Stanley Cup finals
0= The Ottawa Senators win the Stanley Cup

To put the list into perspective these are other life events relative to hockey:

Graduation= 7.5
Getting married= 9.0
Getting Fired= 2.5
Getting Divorced= 1.5
Being diagnosed with a terminal illness= 1.0

*Picture may or may have been taken during game or reflect specific hockey related skill
**It has been scientifically proven that it is a mathematical impossibility for the Ottawa Senators to beat the Toronto Maple Leafs in the NHL Playoffs

Tuesday, December 08, 2009

Having my cake and eating it too

6 degrees this:

Red Fraggle would definitely have been able to find the land of the Blue Dragon again if she'd had a Weighted Companion Cube.

The same woman that puppeteered and gave voice to Red Fraggle, now works for Valve, where she did animation for Left4Dead, and did testing for one of my all time favourite games, Portal. How cool is that?!

College Humor: Tetris God

Can YOU think of a better explanation?

(watch it here for proper full screen effect)

Wednesday, December 02, 2009

New Jersey?!

A must read:

118 Days, 12 Hours, 54 Minutes

Also watch Maziar Bahari on The Daily Show here

Sunday, November 15, 2009

They don't call them delinquents after that long...

... they call them criminals.

From: THE ASSOCIATED PRESS, cp.org, Updated: November 15, 2009 11:28 AM

PHOENIX - A high school librarian in Phoenix says a former student at the Arizona school returned two overdue books checked out 51 years ago along with a $1,000 money order to cover the fines.

Camelback High School librarian Georgette Bordine says the two Audubon Society books checked out in 1959 and the money order were sent by someone who wanted to remain anonymous.

Bordine says the letter explained that the borrower's family moved to another state and the books were mistakenly packed.

The letter said the money order was to cover fines of 2 cents per day for each book. That would total about $745. The letter says the extra money was added in case the rates had changed.

Bordine says the money will buy more books, and the overdue books will be returned to the shelves.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Monday, November 09, 2009

This post is brought to you by the letter B!

Happy 40th Birthday Sesame Street!

Rubber Ducky, you're the one.
You make bath time lots of fun
Rubber Ducky, I'm awfully fond of you.
Rubber Ducky, joys of joys
When I squeak you, you make noise
Rubber Ducky, you're my very best friend, it's true!

Everyday when I make my way to the tubby
I find a little fella who' cute, yellow, and chubby.

Rubber Ducky you're so fine
And I'm lucky that you're mine
Rubber Ducky, I'm awfully fond of you.

Everyday when I make my way to the tubby
I find a little fella who's cute, yellow, and chubby.

Rubber Ducky, you're so fine
And I'm glad that you're mine
Rubber Ducky I'm awfully fond of...
Rubber Ducky I'd like a whole pond of . . .
Rubber Ducky I'm awfully fond of you.

Wednesday, November 04, 2009

Cartman in all his glory...

Better. Than. The. Original.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Happy Birthday John Cleese

I saw him live, and from where I was sitting I could see him getting ready backstage, so as far as I'm concerned we're like best friends...

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

I Might Watch Too Much TV

I am very excited, I have been offered a new job (in addition to my current jobs) at work. I am now going to be the Assistant Respite Camp Coordinator!

Karen (my boss): Assistant TO the Respite Camp Coordinator.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

My Muppets

I am having the single greatest experience of my life. I am listening to a DVD commentary for one of the Scrubs episodes from Season 8. Bill Lawrence stopped talking about Scrubs and has spent about the last 10 minutes just talking about the Muppets.

I'm going to miss Scrubs.

and an old classic:

Thursday, October 08, 2009

America the Beautiful

Here we are! The long awaited* pictures from my family's road trip to Virginia:

On the first night of our drive we ate dinner at the Olive Garden. Scott and I insisted because we hadn't eaten at the Olive Garden in like forever. It's like dining in the backyard of a delightful Italian stereotype.

My other exciting nerd-core moment on the way down was a stop in Pennsylvania to Breezewood to rescue my newest gnome. Meet Syd-gnome Crosby!

Also pictured: the Appalachian Mountains.

Whilst driving along the Blue Ridge Mountains we saw several deer. I would also show the video of the bear we saw, but unfortunately most of the video is disrupted by my brother and I making fun of our Mother for shouting "It's a bear! A bear!" as she JUMPED OUT OF THE CAR!

We were heading down for my Grandfather's 90th Birthday. And no don't get too excited- that doesn't mean I have good genes.

Here my cousin Doug plants one on my Grandma:

And finally my parents:

And on that note: Happy Birthday Mom!!

*Not entirely certain anyone was awaiting these... but I like to think you all were.

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Speaking of things that go together really well...

This is so COOL!

Scott: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

What the Frak?

Spoiler alert: If you haven't finished Battlestar Galactica, I must warn you, you will find out who the last member of the final five is in this video*.

Humans don't stand a chance man.

*Probably not true. I haven't gotten through season 4 yet, but being clever I already know who it is going to be.

PS: I have now finished the series. And no Keyboard cat was not the final cylon to be revealed... which is frankly too bad...

Friday, September 11, 2009

Classy Lit

Anyone who knows me and knows Fail Blog probably knows how well we get along. This made me laugh really hard because I definitely had a University prof who taught Classic Literature at UofA:

Knowing him, he is almost definitely responsible for this.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

I consult this list before every move. Hence living in Sudbury and Hamilton most of my life.

Woo hoo! Take that everywhere except Victoria, Ottawa and Kingston!

Wow really? Kingston? Huh.

Canada's Best Places to Live

1. Victoria, B.C.
2. Ottawa- Gatineau, Ont./Que.
3. Kingston, Ont.
4. Burlington, Ont.
5. Vancouver, B.C.
6. Moncton, N.B.
7. Fredericton, N.B.
8. Winnipeg, Man.
9. Peterborough, Ont.
10. Brandon, Man.
11. London, Ont.
12. Canmore, Alta.
13. LĂ©vis, Que.
14. Halifax, N.S.
15. Guelph, Ont.
16. North Bay, Ont.
17. Woodstock, Ont.
18. Edmonton, Alta.
19. Leamington, Ont.
20. Waterloo, Ont.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

New Apartment!

Hey all!

I am moving... again... (I know). Still this is by far the nicest apartment I've ever had my credit approved for! As of Sunday August 16th I will be a resident of the City of Burlington. I will share some pictures:

Above: view of Lake Ontario from Balcony. Industrial Park not included!

The living room (soon to have a new TV and entertainment centre)... I just stopped this post to close my browser so that my "Language Settings" change would take effect. I will not have Chrome underline "centre" or "theatre" again! Damn yanks...

The Kitchen

My bedroom!

Stay tuned for apartment-warming party (80% sure on August 30th) and pictures with furniture.

Friday, July 31, 2009

I've been thinking and here's what I drink!

Is it wrong that my favourite part of the video comes at 2:36? Probably. But no more than it is wrong that I'm angry at Chrome for trying to correct my spelling of "favourite". Take that damn yankees!

Monday, July 27, 2009

Busted T

My first ever semi-professional T-Shirt design is complete! These are my brand-new staff T-Shirts for ErinOak Kids Respite Camp!

Yes the childish looking doodles are intentional.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Full band. Full awesome.

Speaking of going to see concerts for free:

Friday, July 10, 2009

All Points West

Don't mind the shameless advertising. I'm just trying to get free tickets.

This blog doesn't have enough artistic integrity to sell out.

Wednesday, July 08, 2009

Could this be the end of big sun glasses being cool?

Borrowed from CollegeHumor:


Blue = Age
Green = Perceived beauty
Red = Actual beauty
Pink = Chances you're hiding a black eye
Purple = How much of an a**hole you are
Orange = Chances your name is Bozo

Sunday, July 05, 2009

Better late than never

Actually it seems a little appropriate that this would be a day late...

Don't Blink!

This is borderline embarrassing. The commercial that I was in for Tourism Hamilton is up online. You will have to be really fast on this one. When the sing finished "let it shine..." I will briefly appear at the right hand side of your screen. You can't really make out my face, and I'm not entirely convinced that isn't deliberate. Either way if you want to see my 15 milliseconds of Hamiltonian fame head on over to Tourism Hamilton.

And no I don't know what that song has to do with Hamilton tourism.

Saturday, July 04, 2009

Dance your cares away...

Speaking of unbridled joy. My parents cleaned out the attic yesterday, and guess what they found?!




Fraggle Rock!

Scott: You want to write some more of our script?
Me: Sure, just let me run up stairs. I'm going to go take a picture of my Fraggles to put up on my blog.
Scott:... you probably should have just ended that at "just let me run upstairs".

Thursday, July 02, 2009

Dr. Horrible to Host the Emmy Awards!


Neil Patrick Harris is going to host the Emmy Awards this year!

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

245 Characters. Take that Twitter!

What do I have in common with the song Paranoid Android? We're both on an OK computer! Apparently my many snide remarks at last night's Jays game (sponsored by Dell) about how I just wanted my computer back worked. I arrived home to find my computer repaired and ready to go :)

Also happy Canada Day!

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Talking to Americans!

Hey everyone watch last night's Daily Show and watch clip #2. I'm sorry I can't figure out how to embed it. Sersiouly though, Jason Jones in Iran is totally awesome- 5:10 made my night.



In last night's episode Jason Jones finshed up his report reflecting on his time in Iran and the current situation there now. He came on briefly to speak with Jon and show his support for the protesters by wearing a green arm band and giving the peace sign.

This week's reports from Iran and watching a recent special on the CBC Sunday Report on Iran and its people has made watching the events of this past week and a bit very difficult. These people being killed and arrested are around my age and are standing up for rights and freedoms that are a given here in Canada. My thoughts are with the Iranian protesters.

Nolite to bastardes carborundorum

Tuesday, June 23, 2009


It's been a few days since I was on Fail Blog. Apparently this is what I missed:


Monday, June 22, 2009


Scott, I know you're reading this. Before I move away you want to buy an X-Box 360. So says the Hypnotoad:

All glory to the hypnotoad!

Friday, June 12, 2009

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Monday, June 01, 2009

World of Star War Craft

Hockey and video games... what can I say? I just give my audience what they want. Seriously though. Check this shit out:

Welcome to the MMORPG that will ruin my life.

Sunday, May 31, 2009

Hat Trick

Knowing what huge hockey fans you all are, I thought I would post a fantastic video of wonderness to highlight why I so love the Penguins:

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

"Zezel wins the face off..."

I would like to use my blog to do a quick tribute to a great Toronto Maple Leaf, Peter Zezel. When people think of the 1993-94 Leafs they think of Doug Gilmour or Felix Potvin. But when it was time for me to get a jersey I made sure mine said #25 Peter Zezel. He played centre on the Leaf's checking line and won many critical face-offs for the team. He passed away yesterday after years of struggling with hemolytic anemia. He was 44 years old.

I didn't actually scan this, but it is the same hockey card I have from my small collection:

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Today's Playlist

Because anyone cares :P

My Playlist at the moment, because I think it's swell.

It Ain't Me Babe- Bob Dylan
Oscar Wilde- Company of Thieves
Guest Room- The National
For Emma, Forever Ago- Bon Iver
Gimme Sympathy- Metric
I'm Your Man- Leonard Cohen
Don't Get Down- Hayden
Working on a Dream- Bruce Springsteen
Radio Kaliningrad- The Handsome Furs
In the Morning- Razorlight (damn you CollegeHumor! So addicted...)
Start a War- The National
Waiting on an Angel- Ben Harper
The Hazard of Love 4- The Decemberists
Maps- The Yeah Yeah Yeahs
Stuck Between Stations (live)- The Hold Steady

Debating the purchase of the new Green Day CD... but then I think of everything that I got up there for free... does GREEN DAY really need my money?!

Monday, May 18, 2009

Down with Fraggle Rock

Award for favourite words ever spoken by a puppet may well go to Boober Fraggle of Fraggle Rock. Granted you have to have some familiarity with the show to appreciate this.

Season 2, Episode: Red's Club

Mokey: The first rule of our club will be to help one another!

Red: Don’t we always do that?

Boober: A helping club would be perfect for those of us in constant need.

By the way, as I write this awesome post I am watching the Monty Python sketch "Biggles Dictates a Letter".

Can you think of a better reason to be awake at 2:45?

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Layers of Geekiness

Bonus Points if you get the obscure reference at 1:29.

Trekkies Bash New Star Trek Film As 'Fun, Watchable'

By Bonus Points of course I mean Sadness Points.

Wednesday, May 06, 2009

The Hammer

So yesterday, while out to coffee with a friend, we were asked to be in a commercial for Tourism Hamilton. Apparently you can see me quite a bit in the ad while I eat my California Salad at Williams on the waterfront.

I think it's good that they are shooting some new promotional stuff for tourism in Hamilton. The following are 3 actual photographs from the Hamilton Waterfront tourism webiste:

"Wow honey, let's go there for our honeymoon!"

Words spoken only by someone who has lived their entire life in Pittsburg, Buffalo or Sudbury.

Seriously though, the city IS NOT THAT UGLY... everywhere. And where else are you going to find a city spilt in half by a mountain? ("St. Cath-what? No no... you're mistaken, there's nothing any further down the QEW!") Also Hamilton is soon to be the site of Ontario's third NHL franchise. And the way the Leafs and Sens are playing right now it's soon to be Ontario's best NHL franchise. Also there is a championship Football team... The Sir Allan McNab Lions who won the HWIAC Zone Championship*! And let's not forget the McMaster Mauraders Basketball team, that I'm told was pretty good a few years ago.

*Defeated at SOSSA by the Lakeshore Catholic Gators of *cough* *hack* Port Colborne.

Did you know that one of Hamilton's sister cities is Flint Michigan*?! And that it shares a lot in common with another famous American city: Springfield (the one on the Simpsons!) in that Hamilton is Canada's Fattest City.

*As seen in Roger and Me!

All this city needs is a little rebranding. Personally I suggest we start with a mascot:

Also I suggest we take down all of the road signs on the 403/QEW indicating how to get to Toronto and Niagara Falls. If they can't find it, they'll have no choice but spend some time in our quality city enjoying some of the many attractions... like... uhhh... look over here at the Hamilton Airport Inn!

Friday, May 01, 2009

I don't care what anyone says, dig has one "g"

Hey guys, check out my cartoons at College Humour. There are a few new ones and an edit to an old one. So check out my new Critical Thinking Attitude and the new hair on the character "disinterested male friend".

By the way, other characters names include:

Attractive Guy in Psych Class
Irritated Co-worker
Perplexed Boss
Lucky jerk brother
Shorter female whose luck is indifferent
High school friend who followed the facebook link to my article (yes it's really you!)
High school acquaintance who was bored and thought the link was to a Hardly Working video

The main character's name of course is: Girl who lacks life skills

Thursday, April 30, 2009

My Accountabil-a-buddy

Don't even mind if people have stopped reading. I will continue this for my own darn amusement.

Critical Thinking Attitude #4: Accountability

Wednesday, April 22, 2009


Hey without realizing it I reached 500 posts on Monday!

This calls for a celebration.

In other news, thanks for everyone for the support with the poem. I made the Articles page at College Humour anyways. I also have 10 comments (at the moment), 7 of which make sense and are mostly related to my article. A lower percentage are positive ;)

And now for more Critical Thinking Skills for Nursing!

Critical thinking attitude #1 Confidence

Monday, April 20, 2009

At least something good came out of Nursing 100

While I'm on the subject of College Humour, I submitted my poem "Ode to the Most Correct Response" for the site. You can LIKE it and DIGG it at College Humour.

If everyone here LIKES it that will be 3/100 people who need to like it to get it possibly moved to the front page, granting me instant internet celebrity status... and hopefully someone shouting HOOOH! after I say funny things.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Punned It

There was a man who entered a local newspaper's pun contest.

He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

Also I now have a Celebrity crush* on Jake Hurwitz, the writer/performer for College Humour and Busted Tees model of my dreams:

* Technically since the College Humour Show is on MTV, it is officially a legit celebrity crush... as opposed to blog-stalking.

Friday, April 10, 2009

Welease Bwian!

It's bad enough the council at Nicaea excluded texts about Mary Magdalene, but I really feel that their greatest mistake was leaving Biggus Dickus out of the story all together.

Have a Happy Easter everyone, and always look on the bright side of life!

Thursday, April 09, 2009

An Embedded Link to the Past

A little over a year ago IGN put up a fake Legend of Zelda trailer on their website to dupe people into believing that a movie was coming.

This is what I don't understand. Never mind that this is by far the most elaborate April fool's joke any website has ever pulled... but it took so much work, and they have so much of this already shot... why not just make the movie? I mean seriously watch this thing:

Tuesday, April 07, 2009

Can't Sleep... Clown'll Eat Me...

I am wide awake at 2:45AM. Why you might ask?

Can anyone think of a way to link Neve Campbell to Minnie Driver in less than 3 degrees?

No using imdb!

Also... don't get confused like I did. Minnie Driver was not in a movie with Jeff Goldblum:

That I know of anyways...

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

"When we are born we cry that we are come to this great stage of fools"

While the Season II South Park Terrance and Phillip episode is still my all-time favourite April Fools joke, this ranks as my #1 "awww rats, that would have been awesome!" joke: Interactive Portal T-Shirt.

Pictured above: The highly addictive game that broke my computer

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

"You're the Birthday boy or girl"

There's no getting around it. Being born on this day is totally sweet. Don't believe me?

People born on March 31st:

Rene Descartes (was thought of on this day)

Gordie Howe (The man scored 801 goals. And that's before the 80s when goalies were only slightly more effective than pylons)

Al Gore (the man who invented the internet!)

Cesar Chavez (won higher wages for farm workers by KOing Oscar de la Hoya... as is my understanding)

Liz Claiborne (whose clothing I do not own)

you know what this list needs? More Christopher Walken

and of course, Ewan McGregor. My soul mate.

What should I get Liz for her birthday?

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Critical Drinking Attitude #5

I just pulled my first all-nighter since 3rd year when I pulled an essay about Peter Brook out of my arse. In my defense I can take a blank page and call it an essay. I throw a few words on there and a Professor reads them, that's all it takes to produce an act of Academia.

Mmmmm pillow...

Monday, March 23, 2009

If only Batman had fought Dr. Forrester

What Psychology paper?

It's official. Riff Trax is going to take on our generation's only sacred cow:

From Rifftrax.com:

If you can spare a minute, think back on the greatest work of cinema that you have ever seen. Did you think about The Dark Knight? No? Then you are a moron. Because while you were out doing whatever it is morons do...demolition derbies or...croquet, (we wouldn't know, we loved The Dark Knight), The Dark Knight pimp-slapped Andy Dufresne, spat in the Godfather's face and gave Charles Foster Kane a big ol' wedgie on its way to becoming the greatest movie of all time.

All this in spite of the bat suit causing our hero to grumble like the offspring of Tom Waits and Cookie Monster. There is nothing at all silly about that. We here at RiffTrax regret even having to point out that he sounds like your Great Aunt Vivian sending you out for her third pack of Pall Malls of the day. Because The Dark Knight is not just a superhero movie. It's a gritty crime drama about political corruption and the choices men make that just happens to involve a superhero. A superhero millionaire that dresses as a bat whose voice sounds like your cat heaving up a hairball into your slippers who battles a guy with half a face named Two-Face.

Despite all this, Mike, Kevin and Bill are ready to take on...(reverent pause)...The Greatest Movie of All Time.*

* Source: The Internet

Oh Riff Trax. As soon as I have $3.99 worth of space on my credit card I will send you my love.

Original content to come soon. I swear.

It might even be about something other than comic books.

Friday, March 20, 2009

To them you're just a geek... like me

The Coon's Journal March 18th, 2009: Should've been the season premier. Last episode was OK,, but not amazing. This was good. And almost as anger inducing as the Season 2 Season premier. It's all a joke.

Not featured in the above clip, my favourite line: "Sometimes you have to blow up a hospital for the greater good"

You know I think Cartman might actually be more pathologically disturbed than Rorchach and The Joker put together.

Monday, March 16, 2009


Apparently while I was away this weekend my boyfriend made the front page of the Hamilton Spectator.

Above: The love of my life, Jon Stewart, proving that the pen is mightier than Jim Cramer from CNBC

And headlines across the US and Canada. Have YOU seen the interview?

I have been predicting for several months that George W. Bush would go on the Daily Show, and that it would be epic. This may stop that from happening. Ever.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

"Leave it to the Catholics to Destroy Existence"

"This is exactly why I put a rabbit in charge of the Church, Benedictus! Because men are so easily led astray."- Jesus Christ (South Park)

from cbc.ca

Vatican backs excommunication of Brazilian MDs over child's abortion

A Vatican cleric is defending a Brazilian archbishop's decision to excommunicate several doctors who performed an abortion last week on a nine-year-old girl who became pregnant with twins after alleged sexual abuse by her step-father.

"It is a sad case, but the real problem is that the twins conceived were two innocent persons, who had the right to live and could not be eliminated,'' Cardinal Giovanni Battista Re told the Italian daily La Stampa.

"Life must always be protected. The attack on the Brazilian church is unjustified," Re was quoted as saying. He also heads the Pontifical Commission for Latin America.

The controversy erupted when media reported that a nine-year-old girl from the northeastern Brazilian state of Pernambuco had had an abortion to remove twin fetuses. The girl and her family learned she was 15 weeks pregnant when she went to hospital complaining of pains.

The girl, who has not been identified, told authorities her step-father had sexually abused her since age six. The 23-year-old step-father is currently in police custody.

Doctors performed the abortion Wednesday, saying they feared the pregnancy could kill her because of her slim frame.

Upon learning of the abortion, the regional archbishop excommunicated the doctors, as well as the girl's mother. He did not excommunicate the step-father, saying the crime he is alleged to have committed, although deplorable, was not as bad as ending a fetus's life.
"The law of God is higher than any human laws," Archbishop Jose Cardoso Sobrinho said in an interview on Globo television. "When a human law is against the law of God, that law has no value."

Abortion is illegal in Brazil, which has more Catholics than any other country. However, it can be carried out before the 20th week of pregnancy if the mother's life is deemed in danger or if the baby was conceived through rape.

The controversy has continued up the government and religious hierarchy, with Brazil's president and his ministers coming out in support of the girl.

On Friday, President Luiz Inacio Lula da Silva denounced the church's strict interpretation of the law.

"The doctors did what had to be done: save the life of a girl of nine years old," Lula told news outlets.

That, in turn, brought out counter-condemnations from the Vatican.

"Excommunication for those who carried out the abortion is just," Cardinal Re said.

It's almost as though the Vatican was being controlled by the dark side of the force...

Ahhhhhh! I knew it. Bloody Catholics...