Thursday, December 28, 2006

Some how or other it came just the same...

Christmas 2006

This month did not start with much Christmas festivity. Perhaps better than SOME Decembers in the past, but certainly a little humbuggish.

However within a few days of being back with the Buchanan clan, I am ho-ho-hoing again.

The season started with some of our long-standing traditions: I rearranged all of the decorations on the tree in the usual way that I conujur up concerns of an obessive compulsive disorder linked to evenly spaced ornaments, my Grandmother from the states called my father while cooking the "Buchanan Family Traditional Raselberry Pudding" to get the recipe, and of course we rearranged my mother's little snowmen:

Apparently we're "making" her crazy. She was in slightly better mental health at the Christmas Eve service where our church has started reading the King James version of Luke 2:1-15 ("on Earth peace, goodwill to man" because THAT'S what Christmas is all about Charlie Brown).

Other traditions include my brother and I exchanging presents before the midnight service:

and waiting at the top of the stairs for Dad to take a picture of us coming down the stairs on Christmas morning. Note my brother's enthusiasm at me waking him up at 8am:

(apologies for the orientation, it's taking forever to load images)

Scott's enthusiasm however has nothing on Mog's enthusiasm:

A few traditions went by the way side for us this year. I had been sad originally about some of these (family dinner, not putting my decorations up, no Christmas cookies) BUT something else proved far more exciting and memorable for this Christmas:


It was a surprise to many, but my Grandma and I knew better :)

I guess it was us three living together this summer, we saw it coming. Anyways, I am very happy for them, as they are both very cool people.

Not to be out-done ;) my parents renewed their vows for their 25th Wedding Anniversary:

Congradulations Mom on getting into your wedding gown. They both look awesome!
The ceremony took place tonight, and they are off to Mexico to enjoy their second Honeymoon.

So that was Christmas 2006. A nice surprise if I do say so myself.
And now I leave you with what will potentiall be next year's card, or my album cover:

Mariah has NOTHING on me.

Friday, December 22, 2006

It hasn't snowed a single flurry, Fozzie we're all in a hurry!

I'm heading home in 3 hours :)
Have a Merry Christmas all! Lots of love to you and yours, and peace on earth goodwill to man.

Thursday, December 21, 2006

Blue Christmas

How this December feels as told by the Fraggles at their Winter Solstice Festival of the Bells:

MOKEY: We should do something to try to keep our spirits up.
WEMBLEY: How about a postcard from Gobo's Uncle Travelling Matt?
RED: Stand by spirits going down!


It looks like my luck is about to change! How do I know? A pigeon crapped on my shoulder today. The grosser the dropping the better the luck right?


Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Huh, didn't see that one coming.

I can't help but feel I've abused this power.

Sunday, December 17, 2006

A Public Service Announcement

The latest cartoon on The Perry Bible Fellowship, while seemingly amusing is actually addressing a serious medical condition. Tetris Cerebrus, or Tetris Brain, occurs when the mind has been playing Tetris non-stop for extended periods of time (generally in the absense of work or study) and begins to sort everything as such. They begin stacking things in their mind and planning out strategies for particularly difficult Tetris scenerios in their sleep. The symptoms generally clear up after a few days of self-control:

Friday, December 15, 2006

How the Grinch stole my heat

Liz lived in Sudbury and liked Christmas a lot.
But her landlords, who lived south of Sudbury did not.
Her landlords turned off the heat in the cold Christmas season,
now please don't ask why, no one quite knows the reason.
It could be perhaps that their funds were too tight,
Or perhaps that their heads weren't screwed on just right.

But I think that the most likely reason of all, may have been that their hearts were two sizes too small.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Waiting for Godot

Oops. Godot came while I was Dooly's


I am waiting for a phone call, and in the meantime I have stolen an activity from the Rootman:

7)Lizzie V
9)Michael Hooper

Q: Have you ever kissed number 7 (Lizzie V)?
A: We must have. I am certain of it. But just to be sure I will kiss her the next time I see her.

Q: What's the best memory you have of 9(Michael Hooper)?
A: Well basically I have two to chose from, last New Years Eve and "Get in the duct hatchet face!". I'll go with MST3K

Q: When's the next time you're gonna see 4(Luke)?
A. Hopefully Saturday night?

Q: Is number 8 (Erica) pretty?
A: Downright beautiful!

Q: What was your first impression of number 10 (Natalie)?
A: "Oh hey you're Natty-pants, I'm the Tizzer!"

Q: How did you meet 3 (Angelo)?
A: I want to say Erica's party two summers ago, though we kind of met by extension of the blogging community I believe.

Q: Is 11 (Scott) your best friend?
A: Actually yeah.

Q: Have you seen 5 (Laura) in the last month?
A: Yep, at the MacBeth opening and Tartuffe auditions.

Q: Do you think 2 (Andrew) has a crush on you?
A: (my best recollection of the subtitles) "No, you owe me an explanation! First you fall into my arms out of the sky, then when I show up at your school to do an inspection there you are! You are even in my dreams, you must really have a crush on me" -Life is Beautiful (kind of)

Q: When was the last time you saw 12 (Genevieve)?
A: I believe it was at a party of Erica's for her birthday sometime ago.

Q: Have you ever been to 1's (Joe's) house?
A: Once or twice

Q: Would you ever kiss 6 (Xander)?
A: Only because I was specifically directed to do so :P

Q: When's the next time you'll see 10 (Natalie)?
A: Good question. Perhaps I'll eventually make it out to Australia!

Q: Are you really close to 3 (Angelo)?
A: Not REALLY, but he's seen me on the verge of a mental collapse. Actually so have most people I know, so I don't know if that qualifies. Sorry Angelo.

Q: Have you ever been to the movies with 4 (Luke)?
A: Actually... I don't think we have! That's craziness.

Q: Have you ever gotten in trouble with 2 (Andrew)?
A: We did think we were getting in trouble once. We probably SHOULD have gotten in a lot more trouble in Shakespeare than we did.

Q: Would you ever go out with number 7 (Lizzie V)?
A: Especially when she's a rich doctor! She's buying!

Q: What do you and number 3 (Angelo) talk about the most?
A: I guess movies and the stress of applying to grad school.

Q: Do you even know 9 (Michael Hooper)?
A: I suppose not very well. Particularly given the fact that I know him by extension of others and still refer to him by his full name.

Q: Would you give number 3 (Angelo) a hug?
A: What are we in grade four? In any case I got my cootie shot back then.

Q: Would you ever go on a date with number 10 (Natalie)?
A: Sorry Natalie, I don't swing that way. I could never date an English major :p

Q: Are you in love with number 12 (Genevieve)?
A: I can't say that I am. But then I've never been very good at telling that.

Q: Have you ever lied to number 6 (Xander)?
A: Well I did tell him I would get him a copy of that video and didn't get around to it. Doh!

Q: Do you know a secret about number 8 (Erica)?
A: I'd take it to the grave if I did.

Q: Describe the relationship between number 9 (Michael Hooper) and number 5 (Laura).
A: Uhhh... the both have commented on my blog?

Q: What is the best thing about your friendship with number 4 (Luke)?
A: The random open mouth kissing.

Q: Have you ever danced with number 7 (Lizzie V)?
A: As a matter a fact we did in a play to some trippy music.

Q: How long have you known number 12 (Genevieve)?
A: I guess a little over a year.

Q: Have you ever been in a fight with number 8 (Erica)?
A: Well if she had just admitted that she loved Aminta in the first place he wouldn't have thrown himself off a cliff!

Q: Does number 9 (Michael Hooper) have a boyfriend/girlfriend?
A: No idea.

Q: Have you ever been a coworker with number 2 (Andrew)?
A: Being the same number on each other's questionaires doesn't make this very interesting. I'll make something up- "Actually we were both stationed together in the gulf. Andrew took a bullet in a gun battle for me and I pulled him from the flaming wreck when his jeep hit a land-mine. We've been friends ever since."

Q: Have you ever wanted to punch number 6 (Xander) in the face?
A: Xander, if you still read my blog, surely you can appreciate why the answer is "yes". Let's face it. We all wanted to hit everyone all the time.

Q: Has number 1 (Joe) ever met your mother?
A: Yes. Within ten minutes she had told a story about our old dog having diahhrea. She always does that.

Q. How did you meet number 6 (Xander)?
A: It was a comedy of errors. I mistook him for a man I mistook for my husband.

Q: Did you ever accidentally physically hurt number 5 (Laura)?
A: I made her do some very uncomfortable exercises to warm up for a show. But that's just because she was fooling around ;)

Q: What is the best memory you have with number 12 (Genevieve)?
A: We don't really have any. Soon perhaps!

Q: Do you live close to 7 (Lizzie V)?
A: Fairly. Maybe about 30 minutes

Q: What is number 2's (Andrew) favorite food?
A: Sheppherd's Pie :)

Q: Out of your top 12, which one would you say is the funniest?
A: Tie- Joe/Andrew

Q: Who is the most flirtatious?
A: Luke can really turn on the charm.

Q: If you could change one thing about number 10 (Natalie), what would it be?
A: Not a darn thing. She seems pretty swell the way she is.

Q: Say something nice about number 11 (Scott).
A: Aw Mom! Fine... he... doesn't really suck...

Q: Which one lives the farthest away?
A: Natalie is on the other side of the planet

Q: Which one do you hang out with the most?
A: Andrew.

Q: Who is the loudest?
A: Xander. That's why our marriage worked so well.

Q: The quietest?
A: Scott. 90% me, 10% awkward silence.

Q: What kind of car does number 12 (Genevieve) have?
A: No idea

Q: Have you traveled anywhere with number 11 (Scott)?
A: Why yes. We've been to New York State, Pennsylvania, Maryland, Virginia, Ottawa, New York City, Washington DC and Florida.

Q: If you gave number 5 (Laura) $100 dollars tonight, what would they spend it on?
A: I hope something very nice for herself, but I bet she'd buy nice Chirstmas presents for her friends and family.

Sunday, December 10, 2006

Christmas brings out the child in us all

I don't pretend to have a very mature sense of humour, but I think this is a new low.

I was in line at the dollar store and something odd caught my eye. There were these sucker/lollypop Christmas things next to the cash registar, but one of them was broken:

To be fair, even if Santa's hand wasn't broken off, Rudolph's face definitely implies that something very not right is going on.

Saturday, December 09, 2006

The movie of my life (as written by my WMplayer)

Opening Credits:------------- Mr Brightside-The Killers (seems like the kind of music that would start a film, but what does it say about me?!)

Waking Up:-------------------- Bitches Brew-Miles Davis (this is my new official nickname for my daily coffee fix)

First Day At School: --------- 2+2=5-Radiohead (Well what do you expect? It's only my first day.)

Falling In Love: -------------- Foxy Lady-Jimi Hendrix (Apparently with a real hot Mama! Or as I often expect, Jimi Hendrix)

Breaking Up:------------------ Subterranean Homesick Blues-Bob Dylan (Um... AHA! It's a lack of clear communication in the relationship.

Prom:-------------------------- School Night-Ani DiFranco (Yes well.)

Dance Sequence:------------ This Must Be the Place-The Arcade Fire (covering the Talking Heads) (Strangely I can actually picture this working as a dance sequence in a movie: it starts off kind of slowly, some people start catching on, a few sing...)

Life's OK:---------------------- Caring Is Creepy-The Shins (Brilliant. Only when I stop caring will life be OK)

Breakdown:------------------- I Hope That I Don't Fall In Love With You-Tom Waits (Wow, this is a whole new level of love-related cynicism)

Driving:------------------------ Those To Come-The Shins (Driving very slowly, at night as stars appear)

Flashback:--------------------- Crash Into Me (live)-Dave Matthews Band (Probably a flashback of me stalking Dave Matthews)

Getting Back Together:------ Coin Operated Boy-The Dresden Dolls ("my sad picture of girl getting bitter")

Wedding:---------------------- Not About Love-Fiona Apple (I hope I'm at least marrying for money)

Sex Scene:-------------------- Waiting for a Superman-Iron and Wine (covering The Flaming Lips) ("Is it getting heavy?")

Birth of Child:----------------- Don't Panic-Coldplay (Easy for you to say!)

Final Battle:------------------- I'll Believe in Anything-Wolf Parade (Oh I'm definitely winning this battle!)

Death Scene:----------------- I Am Over It-The Dandy Warhols (By "it" I mean "life", I mean that was SO yesterday)

Funeral Song:---------------- Tangled Up in Blue-Ani DiFranco and the Indigo Girls (live, covering Bob Dylan) (Please do play this at my funeral actually. That would be excellent)

End Credits:------------------ One Chance-Modest Mouse (I couldn't make this up)

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Hippy Holidays


Funny story: When I first put this link up for my post the report was different. It was titled something like "Canada defends Same-sex marriage law" and was about the MPs defeating Prime Minister Harper's motion on reopening the Same-Sex marriage debate. The link now leads to a story about Stephen Harper declaring that he will not reopen the issue. Had it read that way initially I wouldn't have given it a "Go Canada" title, but a "Take that you dumb-ass Albertan Neo-Con" title.

In the News: Go Canada!


May I also present a "White House Christmas Card" to further my position left of centre:

Tuesday, December 05, 2006


Thanks to Joe for this.

And for telling me that one can't leave comments on my Live Space. I'll come back here :)

Also, two T-shirts I will buy when I get my $10million dollar movie contract:

Saturday, December 02, 2006

"Who the hell can see forever anyway?"

Lyrics for the night

Please, remember me
I heard from someone you're still pretty
And then
They went on to say
That the pearly gates
Had some eloquent graffiti
Like 'We'll meet again'
And 'Fuck the man'
And 'Tell my mother not to worry'

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Because if anyone should be a therapist...

My recent peak of interest is in a program called Creative Art Therapy. It's a Master's Program at Concordia University aimed at using Drama as a clinical therapy tool. Essentially there can't be a better fit for me. It's exciting to find something that seems to be the right path, but it might be a touch precarious. I don't have any psychology credits, not even Intro. Now the program is set up as such, that I ought to be able to take these courses before I begin, but it does put me at a disadvantage applying.

On the positive side, you will not believe how effing cheap it is to live in Montreal! I found an apartment for $460/month for a Bachelor that is less than two blocks from the metro station and a ten minute ride to campus! The campus is right downtown and if you haven't been to Montreal, go. It's amazing.
This is the other part of my motivation for applying. Even if I don't get in, as long as I get an interview I at least get to go to Montreal :D

Now all I have to do is get my reference letters back, get my transcripts (shudder) and write a letter of intent. Le sigh.

Monday, November 27, 2006

Please comply

Hi all.

I got sick of the 30ish daily junk mails that were getting through my spam filter, and the fact that everyone thinks my msn sign-in is my email address. I have decided to simplify. My new msn/email address is thaliasmask@(spam me and die) (because drama_geek isn't drama-geeky enough)
please email me there. As an incentive, the first person to email me and tell me what is so drama-geeky about thaliasmask, gets a certificate of acheivement or something. Sorry no monitary bribing.

PS: Responding here does not count. For once emails trump comments.

Sunday, November 26, 2006

A Day Late

I won't recount the last 48hours on the blog, at this moment in any great detail:

Sick, fainted at work, banged head and jaw, concusion, swelling, still not feeling great, Nissah came to heal me physically and emotionally because she is beautiful in everyway, and a book has captivated me so greatly that I have been reading it with what little brain-power I have by candle-light to stay awake. I will talk more about this later.
PS: When I arrive home tonight I will have electricity. Unless I just imagined that.

Every year around this time I usually take a moment to do my quarterly emotional online purging. I didn't get around to it yesterday, so I thought I might briefly today.

Here is something I think Jay would have liked:

The light shines in the darkness.

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Three Weeks Ago

Three weeks ago I recieved a job offer from the Cardinal Motor Inn up here in Sudbury. I had just returned home from an exhausting (to say the very least) apartment hunting expedition and visit. I came up to try to find an apartment as quickly as possible in order to get a roof over my head while I worked. I went with the first reasonably affordable place I could find. This is so far not proving to be the best choice. I began the job before I could even move in, and between working eratic hours to train and moving up, I have had very little time to settle in. To make matters worse, I failed to notice when I was moving in that the electrical outlets are all "two pronged", thus have no ground. Besides being a major safety hazard this is also a seriuos inconvience as I have no computer thus no music, movies or soure of mindless entertainment, which to be fair ranks for most of us somewhere on the second or third level of the pyramid of basic human needs.

All of this was greatly worsened a week ago when I lost the majority of my power altogether, whether two pronged or not. I have four faulty outlets and only one functional light. I can't store food in the refridgerator and I can't cook. I have been doing my best to contact my landlords and deal with the problem, but between a lack of answering machine (on their part) and a 300 or so kilometre highway, it is not as easy as it sounds. Theoretically they will fix the problems this weekend.

I ended up quitting my job at the Cardinal after two weeks. Something about working 40+ hours per week without breaks in an environment that the word "hostile" doesn't do justice to, just didn't appeal to me. Truthfully I was just exasperated trying to handle my supervisor's negativity in a mature assertive fashion, to the point that I couldn't take it any more. I like to think that I have more backbone than that. Apparently I don't.

People who know me well.. or at all I suppose... likely don't think of me as someone that "bottles things up". I guess I don't really, but I think that I try to make it seem as though I'm capable of handling things when I'm really not. People also don't likely think of me as being terribly rational. I would argue that I am. I am very capable of thinking through things in a very logical way and intellectualizing (hmmm sp?) matters close to my heart. In fact it is when I am thinking clearly about things in my life and taking in the bigger picture that I am most happy and feel the most deeply and positively about life.
There seems to be this other side of me however that rears its ugly head from time to time. It is totally irrational, based entirely on gut reactions and peculiar notions that I keep bottled because I know damn well they're stupid things to say outloud. These are the things that I say when I'm drunk, or depressed, or just at my absolute wits end. It doesn't make it OK for me to say these things, in fact I tend to feel worse and worse each time I do.

I started unleashing "evil Liz" if you will, on the world at large about two weeks ago, and I think I've finally got her back under control. Please know that I am not taking lightly the notion of having a split personality, I just simply don't know another way to describe it. I have this deep desire to go back to three weeks ago and try to do things right. Not jump into the first crappy job someone offers me, not move into the first apartment I can find, and not hurt anyone I care about. Just be me, the real me, the one that thinks things through and is careful and considerate. The notion that I can be that person may be the most positive thought I've had about myself in over a year. I think I'll end on that note.

Monday, November 20, 2006

The Star (a cliche monologue 2 years later)

Charlotte, 25, sits holding a cup, looking at it with disdain. She is at a table in a movie trailer. There is a script and some pencils on the table.

CHARLOTTE: Excuse me? I asked you for a low fat cafe latte with NO FOAM. There is foam in my latte. Can you not see the fucking foam? pause No, no, don't try again. I'll drink it, just leave me alone.

The invisible assistant leaves. She takes a sip and shudders. She picks up a script sitting on the table and begins to read quitely to herself, then aloud trying many different unsuccessful tactics.

But Eric you can't die, I love you! But Eric you can't die, I love you! But Eric you can't die I love you! But Eric you can't ActARRRGH! This is impossible. "Play it real Charlotte, I want to hear your voice". I think I fucking know how to act dumbass, I won the emmy for best supporting actor in a daytime drama in 1997, I'm pretty sure I can handle a bit-part in a B-rated movie. This guy doesn't know anything.

But Eric you can't die, I love you! But Eric you can't die, I love you! Christ! "Your voice" No one wants to hear my voice. They want to hear Miranda's voice, the character. Dumbass.

She sits and takes another sip from the latte and shudders

I didn't become an actress to play myself. I became an actress to play characters other people. People who are bold, and strong and brave, beautiful, smart, funny... anything but me.

But Eric you can't die, I love you- and there is foam in my goddamn latte!
Sure they tell you "be yourself" but you can't get anywhere in this business being yourself. No you have to fight for every inch you get.

Hi um I'm Charlotte, yeah nice to meet you, could you please tell me where studio 6 is? HA. It's all an act. Everyday, every moment. I am Charlotte Vanier and you will show me to studio 6. Charlotte Vanier is proud, regal, sassy, sexy. But what am I? Who am I? Be real?

"Charlotte, your boyfriend, what if this was him?" Truely? I haven't SEEN my boyfriend in three months. We don't have time to call, he's barely alive now. I don't REALLY feel anything. "Oh I'd be devestated" "Show me" "Show me" she continues to mimic him for a moment

Fine. You want the REAL me? I am scared, I'm weak, I'm shy, I'm not sexy, I'm alone. Why would anyone want to see ME or hear what I have to say? I might as well be-


Eric you can't die. I love you.

Monday, November 13, 2006

Short and weird. Kind of like me :)

Now that I am completely confident that no one is reading this unless specifically asked to... I present my creative writing:

The Prisoner

My job was simple: guard the prisoner. He was not a

tall or particularly imposing man, perhaps six feet. He sat

against the wall of his cell facing up at the tiny window

nearly ten feet above him. Not nearly enough light to

brighten the dour interior of the prison. He sat

uncomfortably on the drenched cement, his arms resting on

his legs, simply staring out at what was once his world.

I noticed his eyes, not particularly captivating eyes,

but very sincere. His concentration, wherever his stare

happened to be fixed seemed unbreakable. As with most of

the prisoners he was unshaven and dishevelled, the odd

bruise darkening his sickly pale skin. While most had cuts

and deep wounds, there was something striking about his. I

noticed a white imbedded strike carved from the tip of his

right eye brow to the center of his forehead. It was an old

scar. It didn’t especially deform his face, but it was


He wore his issued clothes, it seemed a size too large

for him and became aware that his pants were beginning to

soak from the cold ground. I saw his hand check for a dryer

spot to sit and his eyes turn towards me. I tossed him

another set of pants. He spoke for the first time since he

had arrived.

“Thank you”. He said with slight surprise in his

voice. It was a deep voice for a meagre man. I turned to

give him his privacy. With my back to him I find a moment,

that for whatever reason seems appropriate and ask, “Where

did you get that scar?”

“Sorry?” he replied.

“On your head I mean. On your forehead.”

“Oh. Long time ago,” he said with a little disease. I

heard him sit back down and turned to see him now sitting

against the back wall of the cell facing out towards me.

“I was in a bar fight,” he said with a bit of a

chuckle. “I guess not much of a fight. I pretty much got my

ass kicked.”

I sat as he said this. I cannot say I was surprised.

Not just because he was not a large daunting man, but from

the few words he had spoken, he did not seem to be a

hardened aggressor.

“How did you end up in a fight?” I asked attempting to

seem casual.

“Heh, the usual way, I suppose. A girl,” he said

grinning. A look of remembrance enters his sincere eyes.

“But not any usual girl, no doubt?” I suspected that

my attempts to sound formal, but still feed my curiosity

were a little transparent.

He smiled at me. “Blonde and petite, a beautiful body

and an innocent smile. I didn’t fall in love with her at

first sight, no. I feel in love with her the first time she

said my name. There was something in the way she looked me

square in the eye and held her lips together before she

began, and softened her voice… I had never been happier to

be me.”

I replied without thinking. “The speaking of a

person’s name an have a powerful affect on that person. It

is how they identify themselves, and how they hope that

they are identified by others. I still to this day miss my

mother calling me by my full name. It used to make me feel

so safe.” I stopped myself.

He looked inquisitively at me for a moment and then

continued. “She was at the bar with a real jackass. She

must have been an angel to have put up with his shit for

all that time. Anyways, they were there and she came over

to talk to me for a few moments. She asked me how work was,

we talked about old times, how my sister was doing, if she

had a new cat, how life was, the usual crap. Of course

coming from her it was like she was touching a deep inner

part of my soul.” He laughed again.

“She left and turned back to her boyfriend, and as she

approached him he gave me a menacing look. He turned back

to her and began yelling some gibberish about ‘who the hell

is he?’ and ‘don’t fucking flirt with other men’, and when

she started apologizing and trying to explain that I was

just a friend he hit her square across the face. Without a

thought, including a thought about how much larger and

stronger he was than I, I practically leaped across the bar

and punched him in the throat. Now granted his throat was

about the size of my thigh, so this did not do the damage I

intended it to. He broke a beer bottle and came after me

with it. He got in about one good slash before a few guys

could hold him back. I just ran for my life.” He again

found enough humour in this to chuckle a little.

“What happened to the girl?”

He suddenly became very sullen. “She got pregnant and

married him. I think they are still married. I don’t really


He stood up and turned towards the window. I decided

not to ask any more questions. I began to return to my seat

when he stopped me with a few short words.

“You know, I’ve never told anyone about that before.”

A day went by and we did not have any more talks. I

didn’t ask the prisoner anything else, and he didn’t

volunteer anything. But I became obsessed with his story.

Not an unusual story, but a noble one. I had never heard of

a prisoner doing something courageous before. As a matter

of fact, it didn’t occur to me that they would.

The more I thought about it and the more I looked at

him sitting in his cell, the more I obsessed about it. I

began to bring him extra linens from the closet. I found a

mop for him to dry the floor.

A peculiar sense of morality overcame me. Not only did

I sympathize with this man, I sympathized with everyman I

had ever held prisoner. What right have I to hold anyone in

a cell and tell them to stay there. If he were not here in

this cell he may be off rescuing this girl, or some other

girl from peril. Or perhaps inspiring others with his

courage to stand up to a stronger brawnier man. He seemed

quite bright, and thoughtful. He could be a professor, a

doctor, a police officer, a politician, and here he was

confined in this cell, staring at the wall, his potential

as stale as the small portions of food he was occasionally


This is when I forgot why I was holding this man

prisoner in the first place. I decided that I could not in

good conscience keep him there, confined in his cell.

Around sunrise that next morning I took the keys from

the wall where they were hanging, went to the padlock, and

unlocked the cell. The entire time the prisoner remained in

the back upper left corner of the cell watching me as I

anxiously disobeyed the duties of my post.

I returned to my seat, waiting for him to take his

leave. He sat motionless, still groggy from another

restless night. I caught his eye and nodded.

To my surprise he nodded back and then, most

strangely, continued to sit staring at the now unlocked

cell door.

I thought to myself ‘He’s tired. Perhaps he’s

regaining his strength before he leaves’. I decide to give

him some time.

But then hours passed, and then nearly a day. I

thought ‘Perhaps he doesn’t realize that I’ve unlocked the

door’. So I got up and approached the cell, the prisoners

sincere eyes now fixed on my motion. I pulled the door open

wide and motioned for him to exit. He continued to sit.

I could not understand ,for all my life, why he would

want to remain in this dank, smelly, miserable cell.

Didn’t he want to leave?

I left the door way and tried turning my back on the

cell for a short time. Maybe he would try to escape while

my back was turned. I looked back to see that he was still

sitting, this time staring at me. I looked into his eyes

and saw that he had no intention of going.

I returned to my seat and began to puzzle over the

reason for his inaction. I’d had men sit in this cell and

beg me for their freedom, threaten me for it, cry for it,

scream for it, attempt to prostitute themselves for it, but

here was a man whose freedom I had granted and he was

refusing it? It was almost beyond comprehension.

Was he waiting for something? For night cover perhaps,

or for a different guard? Yes perhaps that was it. Perhaps

he didn’t want me to take the fall for his escape. No, that

was ridiculous. Once he was gone he would never hear from

or see me again, of what concern would it be to him?

Maybe he thought that this was a trick. Yes, he thinks

that I’m testing his obedience, and that this will result

in better treatment.

Though I could never match his sincerity I made my

best attempt. My eyes met his and I calmly spoke, lowering

my voice, “This is not a trick.”

“I know,” he said.

I froze for a moment and then looked away.

The mystery loomed. I sat and paced and ate and drank

and never stopped thinking. ‘Why is he still here? Doesn’t

he have anything to live for? And even if he doesn’t, isn’t

death better than the hell he faces here. The slow rotting

of the body and the mind?’.

After sometime it was dark, I couldn’t tell for how

long. I looked at him sitting there wide awake. I on the

other hand was exhausted, emaciated. I hadn’t eaten in

sometime now, I couldn’t tell how long, I’d lost track of

days. I said, with the first hint of desperation in my

voice “Don’t you know I’ve unlocked the cell?”

“Yes,” he said.

“You can leave” I pleaded further.

“I know,” he said calmly.

Somehow those words struck me. There was no more

denying it. He was choosing to stay in this cell for

reasons I could not understand. And all at once, I did not

want him to go. Not because I was afraid of my job, or my

life, or the rules. I wanted him there with me.

I controlled my urge to run and shut the door, and

simply remained seated, somewhat glad that he was still

there. The content lasted only a short while, as I began to

further contemplate his actions. Did he also want to be

there with me? Impossible. Yet he would not leave, and this

line of thinking began to develop. I wanted him to stay and

he seemingly also wanted to stay. Did he love me? I knew

that I loved him.

This is when I began to wonder how long I had been

there, or when I had started to become completely

delusional. I started checking for a watch I didn’t have on

and trying to count the days by the bodily deterioration of

the dead rat lying adjacent to the cell. I saw my

reflection in the puddle. I was a wreck, a hideous mess.

How could anyone love me?

It was then that I began to wonder which side of the

cell I was on. Was I in fact HIS prisoner? Where was I? How

had I gotten there? How long had I been there? I started

anxiously pacing around the hall looking for the telltale

signs of a prison cell. The bars were there, the small

uncomfortable bed, the puddles, the tiny window. That was

it! I was in a prison, he was my guard!

“Let me out!” I screamed. I began frantically running

and crying and screaming, “Let me out!”. Ran up to the bars

and started shaking and thrashing, “Let me out!”.

Falling to my knees I curled up on the floor shaking

uncontrollably. When I looked up the first thing I saw were

those sincere eyes looking down at me.

“Why don’t you leave?” I meekly coughed out.

“Because I don’t want to,” he replied calmly.

It was me that they took away. They pulled me from the

ground and brought me to another prison, but a different

kind, where I WAS the prisoner. What happened to my

prisoner I’ll never know. I assume they locked his door

again. Maybe someone else unlocked it. I wonder if he left.

On the off chance someone did actually read that: please be gentle. It's a VERY VERY first and early draft that needed a home.

Friday, November 03, 2006


I have two jobs up in Sudbury- The Cardinal Motor Inn and my job doing sampling at the LCBO. I have a further potential job, but I'll just keep my fingers crossed for that one. I PROBABLY have a place to live, I will know for sure on Saturday. That's about as much as I can update with any certainty.

I am putting that questionaire thingy back up in hopes that I won't look like a nerd this time around :p

Six things you wonder about me

Five Things you like about me

Four things you would do to me if we were alone

Three of my best features

Two words that describe me

One question for me (Ask away, I will answer honestly)

Thursday, October 19, 2006

The 3 Step Plan to Waste My GST Rebate

Step #1:

Step #2:

and Step #3:

Actually to be fair, the Yeah Yeah Yeahs T-shirt featured in Step #3 was ordered well in advance of the gst cheque's arrival. But at least now I don't feel quite as guilty.

Friday, October 13, 2006

My Imaginary Trip

At this particular moment I want very badly to be writing an actual post about my adventures in Europe. I am not in Europe however, so I would like to tell you about the imaginary trip that I have planned there.

Friday October 13th- Depart Toronto on British Airways. World Traveller class (slightly bigger seats, but not so pricey as to be out of my range)

Arrive October 14th in the morning- check into downtown London Hostel. Sleep until 5pm. Go out for a light dinner and do double decker bus tour. If there's time a play at the Old Vic. Hit up pub and drink heavily.

October 15- Wake up next morning whenever humanly possible. Eat lunch on restaurant over looking Thames. Afternoon: tour of the tower of London, dinner- something cheap. Evening: either a play at Drury Lane or go see The Mousetrap. Night: find cool Tavern my Aunt went to hidden in old wine cellar. Drink heavily.

October 16- Early wake up to get on tour bus (courtesy of Travel Cuts "The Full Monty")

"Day 1: London - Bath
Leave the smog of London behind and travel through the rural English countryside with its green fields and thatched cottages. We stop at the mysterious Iron age Uffington White Horse and then wander amongst the 5500 year old Avebury Standing Stones. Next to the Roman spa town of Bath, one of England's masterpieces. See the Anglo Saxon abbey, beautiful georgian architecture, and visit Sydney Park (from where the Ozzie city gets its name!) or walk in the footsteps of Jane Austen before settling in for the night.
Day 2: Bath - North Wales
Heading west we travel into Wales, learning a bit of the Welsh language before crossing the mighty River Severn. The magnificent Chepstow Castle provides an awesome backdrop where you can stand in 2 countries at the same time! Lunch is in the border town of Hereford with its stunning cathedral and the Mappe Mundi, the oldest map of the world in existence. We end the day with a tour through the lovely mountains of North Wales before arriving at our fantastic farm house hostel to enjoy a truly unique BBQ.
Day 3: North Wales - Lake District
After a hearty breakfast, we leave the gorgeous farmhouse and head to Mount Snowdon, the highest mountain in Wales, and then on to the walled town of Conwy, home to a magnificent 13th century castle. The tour then travels northwards through Welsh speaking Wales (Cymru) and over to the Isle of Anglesey to visit a tiny place with a huge name. We conclude the day with a stunning drive through the Lake District to the picturesque lakeside village of Ambleside.
Day 4: Lake District - Edinburgh
We start the day driving through the northern Lake District and head for the largest construction the Romans ever built, Hadrian's Wall! (all to keep the warrior Scots from invading the Roman Empire!) Across the border into Scotland for lunch and an afternoon tour of the rolling hills of the border region, which was William Wallace's (Braveheart) stomping ground. We regale you with haunting stories of the battles which took place on these hills before arriving in one of the world's most beautiful cities, Scotland's capital, Edinburgh!
Day 5: Free day in Edinburgh
Explore this World Heritage listed city, enjoy the lively nightlife or why not head off on an adventure around Scotland with HAGGiS! 1, 3, 6 and 8 day adventures available. (please enquire with our sales team if you wish to 'hop off' in Edinburgh and take a tour in Scotland before 'hopping on' to return to London).
Day 6: Edinburgh - York
Leaving Edinburgh we visit eerie battlefields, border towns, North Sea villages and perhaps more castles! Then it's back into England and on to York, ancient Viking capital and staging post for every invasion of Scotland by the English. We spend the afternoon exploring the medieval streets (including the oldest street in Europe) and city walls but nothing prepares you for York Minster Cathedral (the largest in England!) To end the day we head outside the city to Beverley where we stay in a 600-year-old haunted Dominican friary!
Day 7: York - London
Passing through the industrial heartland of England, we leave Beverley and make the journey into Robin Hood's Sherwood Forest for a walk to see if we can find any men in tights! Here you will discover the ancient oak tree where Robin hung out with his merry men! Next it's on to the birthplace of the man himself, Shakespeare's Stratford-Upon-Avon. See the house where the world's greatest dramatist was born or retrace the steps where the young bard courted his muse - Anne Hathaway. We arrive back in London around 6pm."

Drink heavily

By this point I've lost track of days and time, but who cares? Because...
On week the second I make use of my Eurorail 5 country pass. I chunnel to France and visit Paris, I then proceed to Germany for two days. Amsterdam (for undrug related purposes, ahem) the fourth day, on the fifth I double back toward Italy, spend some quality time in Florence, and round it all off with my dream since the fifth grade: Greece! Most specifically the old ancient theatres from the Dionysis festivals.

I return to London on November the 4th and stay one day extra to purchase a white mask and some firecrackers. No one ever hears from me again.

Thursday, October 12, 2006

The Nightmare Before Christmas

Is it snowing in Sudbury?

Because it is flipping blizzarding here!

And nearly cold enough to freeze your winnebego (if like me you are foolish enough to try to get groceries in this weather when you are sick).

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Thank god they found each other

Just kidding guys, Happy Anniversary!

Monday, October 09, 2006

"You'll see when you move out it just sort of happens one day and it's just gone. And you can never get it back. It's like you get homesick for a place that doesn't exist. I mean it's like this rite of passage, you know. You won't have this feeling again until you create a new idea of home for yourself, you know, for your kids, for the family you start, it's like a cycle or something. I miss the idea of it. Maybe that's all family really is. A group of people who miss the same imaginary place." -(Gardne State, courtesy of imdb)

Andrew: You remember that idea I had about working stuff out on my own and then finding you once I figured stuff out?
Sam: The ellipsis?
Andrew: Yes, the ellipsis. It's dumb. It's dumb. It's an awful idea. I'm not gonna do it, okay? 'Cause like you said, this is it. This is life.
-(same as above)

Sunday, October 08, 2006

You can take this job and fill it!

I am officially bidding a fond(ish) farewell to The Keefer Mansion Inn. It's been... a job anyways. Had it's ups and downs like any, but it is ultimately time to move on. I got two shifts this week, one tonight from 11-7 and another on Thursday morning at 7am. I don't know how they expect anyone to support themselves on two shifts a week, and they must because it's almost impossible to juggle a second job when you're flipping back and forth between overnights and early mornings (ie; I had to work at 1pm on Saturday and had to be woken up forcefully at 11:30am because I hadn't been able to sleep until 7am).

So there it is. As I bid the Mansion a fond farewell, I think back the last six months of my life.

- I had the lead female role in a Shakespearean comedy. (crossed off the Life's ToDo list)

- I went to the Lollapalooza music festival in Chicago (crossed off the Life's ToDo list after realizing that it should have been on there all along)

- I volunteered at the Toronto International Film Festival and got to see a couple of foreign films that will probably never make it to mainstream cinema

- I overcame my fear of birds (and can watch people bite fabric without freaking)

- In the past three weeks I have lost 5 pounds as a result of healthy eating and moderate exercise. I haven't been able to say that in years.

Not everything has been this great. In fact lots of stuff has been tougher that I imagined. One of my personal struggles (that pretty much everyone reading this is already painfully aware of) is a preoccupation with my being "strong". I often worry about being a weak person, and sometimes excessively worrying about this compounds my problems far beyond what they actually are. So I needed to get my head wrapped around that, and I think that since my move here I have had some real success doing that.

But now it's time to move away and shine :) I will be everything I've ever dreamed, but maybe I don't need to accomplish all of my goals right this minute now. Maybe what I need to do is take my time and live for the moment.

I am applying to York University, the Stratford Conservatory Program and the National Theatre School and a neat little program at Flemming College called The Expressive Arts. I will also apply to McMaster University for the Child Life Specialist program, Humber College and Algonquin College for the accelerated Child and Youth Worker Program. I have a couple of different ideas of what I'd like to do, including working with at risk youth by introducing them to theatre (specifically Shakespeare) and doing theatre work with children with physical disabilities. I also hope to audition for the Stratford Festival, attend the Atlantic Theatre Company training program, or pursure some other exciting acting opportunities.

I think I enjoy learning about acting even more than I actually enjoy acting. It's the process and the struggle and being pushed that motivates me more than the performance (darn that Val!). This is one of the reasons why I didn't enjoy my experience this summer as much as I thought I would.

So I've analyzed, and thought to death and there it is. I know where I am right now, I have at least some idea of where I'm going, and I'm a lot happier with myself now than I was. Now it's time to just be happy the way I know best, and go back to listening to my heart. My head isn't that reliable anyways.

Thursday, October 05, 2006

I've Been Drinking and here's what I think VI: Return of the Jin & Rye

I tried to make a video for this post. I had this joke at the end where I would say "and technically it's not drinking alone if I do it with people on the internet" and then to a shot of Whisky straight from the bottle. As it turns out, ten takes in a span of less than 15 minutes, does not increase video quality. None of those are acceptable for posting. Instead I will leave you with this picture of me in my new hat:

"We did 35 takes and this was the best one."

Saturday, September 30, 2006

Liz's World of All Things Geeky

A couple of busy days with some news, but first-

Soundtrack of "The World According to Liz"-

Opening Credits: Little Plastic Castle-Ani DiFranco
Waking Up: Sunrise-Norah Jones
An Ordinary Day: Ordinary Day-Great Big Sea (because I'm a smartass)
The First Date: *ahem cough* Lightning Crashes-Live
Falling in Love: Between Us to Hold-Hayden
The Rumble: Not About Love-Fiona Apple
The Break-up: The Scientist-Coldplay
Getting Back: Ants Marching-Dave Matthews Band
Life's Okay: Sleeps With Butterflies-Tori Amos
The Mental Breakdown: No No No-The Yeah Yeah Yeahs
Cruising: Girl Anachronism-The Dresden Dolls
The Flashback: Do You Realize?-The Flaming Lips
The Party: Jamie-Weezer
Everybody Dance Now: All These Things That I Have Done-The Killers
Sex Scene: Crash Into Me-Dave Matthews Band
Regretting: Red Rain-The White Stripes
The Long Night Alone: Each Coming Night-Iron and Wine
A Death: I Will Follow You Into the Dark-Death Cab for Cutie
End Credits: I'll Believe in Anything-Wolf Parade

So I went to a job interview for this cool night club in Hamilton (where, incidently, I unknowingly missed You Say Party We Say Die, Controller Controller and Stars while I was in Sudbury :p). I thought it sounded like a pretty sweet place to work, but as it turned out they wanted to "go in a different direction". My Dad said "What hire somebody incompotent?". I love my Dad.

Here's something awesome: Jedi Ka-nig-hats
Other possible dialogue:

"What is the air-speed velocity of an unladen death star?"

"Your mother was a fuzz-ball and your father smelt of bantha-fadder"

Vader: Luke, join the dark side and some day all of this will be yours!
Luke: What the curtains?

There's no redemption at this point. I am the hugest nerd of all time.

Ah yes and speaking of my geekdom, 3 points:

1. The answer to my previous entry about Miles Davis's Birth of the Cool was... a Simpson's trivia challenge in disguise! It's Lisa.

2. I got a webcam, and I am having far too much fun with it. Finally I've made the grand leap to the year 2001.

3. I plan to make a video entry soon. I will have some time off Tuesday evening, and heaven knows I have nothing better to do. Wednesday on the other hand :D ... well I might just have to leave you in suspense on that one!

Monday, September 25, 2006

False Alarm

The fire alarm just went off and I just successfully pretended that I knew what I was doing. The Fire Department was impressed and my boss actually gave me my first praise since I began this job. Aparently my handling of the false fire alarm was excellent. What they didn't see was the two-three minutes leading up to their arrival of me running around the building shutting doors and windows while trying to go through the fire alarm manual and remember what the hell I was supposed to do. None-the-less, I retract my previous statement about how boring this job is at night. May it henceforth remain as such.

Sunday, September 24, 2006

Part the second

"How are you organizing them, alphabetically?... chronologically?"
"No. Autobiographically"
"That sounds..."
"Comforting? It is."

By the way, I should have explained first that a few people have been posting top ten album lists, and as the biggest wanna-be music nerd I decided to jump on the band-wagon. I do not pretend to know anything about music... well actually I do pretend, but when pushed I'm usually honest about my cluelessness. Anyways, favourite albums post 1990 are:


Tori Amos: Little Earthquakes
Key tracks- "Silent All These Years", "Precious Things", "Me and a Gun"
My aunt said she got tired of this album after playing it a million times over. I have yet to experience a similar fatigue. I'll just have to try for two million I guess.


The Dave Matthews Band: Crash
Key tracks: "Two Step", "Crash", "#41", "Say Goodbye", "Trippin' Billies"
You can file this under TMI if you like, but most of my adolescence was consumed dreaming that Dave himself would make love to me tracks 2 through 6. In fact that's pretty much still my ultimate goal in life.


Weezer: The Blue Album
Key Tracks: Buddy Holly, Undone (the Sweater Song), Say it Ain't So
This album is in the key of rock and goes out as a dedication to Rhonda from Adam. And for anyone other than Joe: the sweater song made a surprisingly good campfire sing-a-long for disenfranchised counsellors after our camp director banned "Red-hooded Sweatshirt".


Radiohead: The Bends
Key Tracks: "Fake Plastic Trees", "The Bends", "High and Dry", "Blackstar"
Actually I could have kept that list going. I know that OK Computer is the best known and mostly highly rated Radiohead album, and it probably is of superior musical quality, but I just can't tear myself from The Bends. I think it speaks to me lyrically more than any of the others, and I have the most fun listening to it. Anyone that doesn't know... secretly... I don't own it! I own every song and have played them in order on several occasions, but I don't have the actual album. Sigh. I don't think Thom Yorke needs my money THAT badly.

Hm, OK so blogger is giving me a hassel about uploading pictures, so the remainder of the post will have to be album coverless. I try not to judge an album by its cover however...


Ani DiFranco: Evolve
Key tracks: "Icarus", "Evolve", "Shrug", "Welcome to:"
Of all the covers not to be able to show, this one actually won a Grammy for Best Album Art, and deservingly. I think it's a shame however that it's musical merit was overlooked in favour of who knows what. I love Ani, and this album is the beginning of a jazzier sound for her with a new band. Evolve is an alltime favourite song of mine: "It took me too long to realize that I don't take good pictures 'cuz I have the kind of beauty that moves"


The White Stripe: Elephant
Key tracks: "Seven Nation Army", "I Just Don't Know What to Do With Myself", "In the Cold Cold Night" and the disturbingly addicitve "It's True That We Love One-Another"
When my friend Greg in first year started cranking the White Stripes in his dorm room I had no idea that lasting relationship that was forming. Not with Greg, I don't really know what he's up to right now, but rather with the White Stripes, who I understand were recently on The Simpsons.


The Yeah Yeah Yeahs: Fever to Tell
Key Tracks: "Date with the Night", "Maps", "Pin", "No, No, No"
I went straight from a White Stripes addiction to a serious Yeah Yeah Yeahs addiction. A natural transition for many reasons. There are obvious similarities, also though, I attribute the recent rebirth of rock and roll in large part to both bands. This album is my "party album" I have been known to use it to get ready for a night on the town, or just to make life suck less. Some how it works everytime. They are now #1 on my list of bands I want to see in concert.


The Shins: Chutes too Narrow
Key tracks: "Kissing the Lipless", "Pink Bullets", "Those to Come"
The Shins have in fact changed my life. In so much as I am exactly 12% happier having heard their music, and an additional 16% happier having heard their music from four rows away. There is a point in nearly every song where they hit a note that gives me happiness shivers. I just realized that these are the silliest album reviews of all time. I really hope some day a Rolling Stone writer writes something like "the notes give me happiness shivers".


Iron and Wine: Our Endless Numbered Days
Key Tracks: "Naked as we Came", "Love and Some Verse", "Each Coming Night", "Sodom, South Georgia"
And not just because I have an autographed copy! "Each Coming Night" is the most played song on my Windows Media Player playlist at 143! Which is actually a little disturbing. I got the song about 10-11 months ago, which means I play it roughly once every other day.


Wolf Parade: Apologies to the Queen Mary
Key Tracks: 6-9 Are everything pure and wonderful in the world
It was hard sorting through all of my most recent album acquisitions. I believe a friend recently called it a "musical enlightenment". Via the Rootman himself I've been finding more and more current music that fits my taste and of all the albums I've actually been able to purchase this one amazingly stands out. I seem to end up making a lot of people Wolf Parade CDs when I play them "I'll Believe in Anything", which is simply an incredible song, and strikingly so right from the get-go. Time will tell if I ever get sick of it, but for now I'll keep playing the same disc every night


Coldplay: Parachutes
Ben Folds Five: Whatever and Ever Amen
Fiona Apple: When the Pawn Hits...
Death Cab for Cutie: Plans
The White Stripes: White Blood Cells
The Dave Matthews Band: Under the Table and Dreaming
Radiohead: OK Computer
Greenday: American Idiot

and many more...

Saturday, September 23, 2006

"Oh that's so obvious... tell me Rob, how does someone with no interest in music end up owning a record store?"

I feel the need to do two top ten lists. I have an "all-time classics" list, which is full of albums that, well, the best way to explain it is that they make lists like this all the time for a reason.

The second list is everything post-1990, and is not necissarily what I deem to be the greatest musical acheivements, but just what I like the best.

Part I) My "all-time classic" favourites (in alphabetical order):

The Beach Boys: Endless Summer
Technically not a "Best of". It is a compilation, and includes "Good Vibrations", "Wouldn't it be Nice?", "California Girls" and "All Summer Long". Yes, it's kind of lame to go with a compilation, but it's also kind of lame to put Pet Sounds on a top 10 albums list of all time.

The Beatles:Rubber Soul
Somewhere betwenbeing a borderline boy-band, and popularizing the work of Frank Zappa, the Beatles recorded an ablum that is not only ahead of its time, but stands the test of time. I always compare this album to the White Stripe's White Blood Cells, and if I had to pick a genre I would call it "quirky-pop". "Norweigen Wood", "Drive My Car" are particularly addictive, and "In My Life" is always a favourite.

The Clash: London Calling
Why yes I did just jump from The Beatles to The Clash. Thank you for noticing. The only majorly addictive Clash song this album is missing is "Rock the Casbah", but hey it's still solid listening. "London Calling, Jimmy Jazz", "Rudie Can't Fail" and "Lover's Rock" rock my world, in a very anti-rock kind of way. Never let it be said that I don't like punk music.

Miles Davis: Birth of the Cool
Ten points to anyone who can tell me what TV character has this as their favourite album. Actually, I feel a little badly that I have to go and grab this album to determine a highlights list ("Move", "Moon Dreams" for sure). I confess it has been a while as I've been off the jazz lately. I wonder what else I've been off of lately that would be lessening my interest in jazz

Bob Dylan: Blood on the Tracks
I have a terrible confession. I used to hate this album. I loathed it. I would complain everytime my Dad put it on in the car. I also used to think that I would like to be an astronaut, that Step by Step was a good TV show and that I would marry Ben Affleck. What can I say? Live and learn, I now think pretty much the opposite on every point, thus: I LOVE this album. So much so that I would like to marry it. Don't even know where to start on highlights... "Idiot
Wind", "Tangled Up in Blue", "Shelter from the Storm", "Jack of Hearts"... it just goes on from there.

The Jimi Hendrix Experience: Are You Experienced?
Not that I have to explain many of these, but least of all this one. Although I don't know if I can ever really fully enjoy the song "Hey Joe" for some reason or another. Though I must thank Scott eternally for bringing its context to my attention. Among the tracks of greatness, "Purple Haze", "Foxey Lady", sigh and yes "Hey Joe".

Janis Joplin w Big Brother and the Holding Company:
Cheap Thrills

Rosanne: We didn't have enough women musicians like that. Thank god for Janis.
Jackie: Oh yeah (sings) "I learned the truth at seventeen"
Rosanne: Not Janis Ian you idiot! Janis Joplin.

That exchange just always amused me a lot. I do like "At Seventeen" but it takes a lot in my books for anyone male or female to compete with Janis Joplin, and in particular "Summertime", "Ball and Chain" and one of my alltime favourites "Piece of my Heart". I want to be her. Less the Southern Comfort.

Van Morrison:Moondance
Joe: Do we have a song?
Me: Yeah "Moondance".
Joe: Oh yeah, but every Van Morrison couple has that as their song.
Me: I thought that was "Brown Eyed Girl".
Joe: Every REAL Van Morrison couple.

I later settled on "Wouldn't it be Nice?", but for a while I enjoyed the most melancholically sexy music imaginable. How was I sad and turned on at the same time? I have no idea, but I still kind of think of a chilly october night in Peterborough everytime I hear it this album. That, and driving through Pennsylvania. "Moondance", "And it Stoned Me" (which I was told at age 10 was not about biblical stoning) and "Crazy Love" are favourites.

Pink Floyd: Wish You Were Here
I hear that if you start this album playing at the exact same time that the MGM credits start rolling and listen to the album straight through, while watching "Gone With the Wind" high, that "Gone With the Wind" is a much better movie. Frankly my dear Scarlett you'll enjoy "Shine on You Crazy Diamond", "Wish You Were Here" and "Welcome to the Machine" (a definite Radiohead precursor).

The Talking Heads: Stop Making Sense
Despite the superior album art of Remain in Light, the unbeatableness of an ablum that includes "Psycho Killer", "Heaven" and "This Must Be the Place" goes unquestioned in my books. This album also makes it look as though I didn't overlook the eighties entirely, despite the fact that the songs were mostly recorded in the seventies.

Saturday, September 16, 2006

Movie Madness

Well the film festival has come and gone. The last insane 7 days I've been on a "there are 24 usable hours in every day" kick. I think if I were going to do the festival next year I would take the week off of work. Hard to know if that would actually be a financial possiblity ever, but really necissary to fully enjoy the event. And to avoid severe sleep deprivation.

I did however get three very cool experiences through volunteering.

The first was a panel discussion on war and conflict in documentary film-making. My favourite topic brought up and explored was how much the camera effects what's going on and whether people behave differently in front of the camera- and thus what responsibility does the documentarian have? So difficult to say. Violence is often amplified in the presence of cameras, but do the cameras also make governments more accountable to acts of violence (ie: showing the coffins of soldiers draped in American flags/prisoner abuse photos swayed public opinion about the war). Also the issue of the documentary serving a wider political purpose or simply telling a story from the war, and whether it is just simply important to have as many perspectives and stories as possible. I will limit this to a short blurb rather than a giant essay.

Then I took in two and a half movies.

The first I only saw about 20 minutes of, it was a Chinese film called The Banquet, and I will refrain from discussing it at any length, since I was unable to watch more than the first sequence of events or so.

The second was Princess, a Danish animated film with English subtitles. This was a fascinating, uncomfortable and beautifully animated piece. A child is rescued from a life of abuse and sexual slavery by her priest Uncle. The pieces of her childhood and her family history are unvieled through a series of events and the videos made by the Uncle (which are shown as live action videos seamlessly woven into the animation). The story is complex and at moments completely appalling and at others immensely touching. I really enjoyed the opportunity to see the movie, even if the ending pretty much sucked the spirit right out of me.

The third was the film I watched today called Glue. Completely brilliant. I don't even have words. An Argentenian film with English subtitles, the director and lead actor were there, as well as one of the film's producers (with whom I got to speak!). The story is about a boy growing up in Argentina. His friends, his family, his coming of age/sexuality. Sounds all very over done in the west, but man oh man. Full props to Hector Diaz as the young man, he is so likeable from start to finish, very believable, and shows a maturity with his acting that is remarkable for his age. I laughed, I was geniunely moved. I laughed a lot actually. Talking with the film's producer, they don't seem overly conifident that it will get picked up, which would be a grave injustice. It is so wonderful, and I really hope to be able to purchase it in Canada at some point.

All in all I was kind of glad I went to see smaller foreign films. I will likely get a chance to see D.O.A.P. later, as it will almost certainly get picked up, and by the sounds of it so will the Australlian MacBeth (had I seen these two by the by, I would have watched films from 5 different continents!)

Had a fun time in Toronto, and as a matter of fact I will be back there tomorrow... surprise Sudburians, I'll be seeing you soon! Really soon.

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Pictures to follow

It's 12:00 and I'm officially at hour 17 of 60 hours without sleep. I'm just about to hit that 20-30hour wall where I will be undoubtably aloof and useless (good thing I'll be at work most of the time). I'm still not totally sure what was going through my brain when I decided to volunteer for the film festival and continue to take regular shifts at both jobs, but here I am pulling an all-nighter only to hop on a TO bus in the morning and start right back up at the box office. Why might you ask would I partake in such an activity?

Today I arrived 5 minutes late at the volunteer office as a floater for the day (stupid GO transit). They informed us that there was a possibility that we could wait in the office until 11:30 without being assigned anything before they would send us home, which sounds worse than it is. I spent the first hour and a half watching High Fidelity and drinking some mighty fine coffee before volunteering for what I guess sounded to some like a boring job: Industry Initiatives.
I got the job of greeting guests at a hep restaurant downtown (where they schmmoooze with Canadian Film industry folks and network) and to seat guests for the panel discussions. Today's discussion (which I got to sit in on) was Documentary in War and Conflict. Life is good.

The not so good news of the weekend is that I can't see any of the movies I intended to see due to Sell-outs or scheduelling conflicts. None the less I intend to enjoy my crazy week, and if you don't here from me for a while... I'M LOST IN TORONTO PLEASE COME FIND ME!

Monday, September 04, 2006

Smooth Operator

Tonight I came into work and the new guy server (Ian) was in. I have to confess, I'm a little smitten. He's quite handsome and a sweet-talker. At any rate, we're chatting away and I'm helping him close off for the day, and he's very appreciative and we're mostly hitting it off. I manage not to say really stupid things I'm thinking ie: Him- "You're brave staying in here by yourself all night", My brain-"Well it is pretty dangerous mayber you should stay and look after me". Anyways, I'm in the kitchen polishing the silverware while he goes to punch out for the night. It's at this point that I look down and notice that my tube top has fallen down and is revealing a good portion of my bright red bra and a rather healthy dosage of cleavage.

Was I being too forward? I think his parting line, "Have a goodnight" speaks for itself.

Saturday, September 02, 2006

Almost Famous

As an official volunteer for this year's Toronto International Film Festival I will be given a small number of complimentary tickets to attend screenings of countless incredibly cool indie films. Now before you think of killing me to take my place, please note that I won't be able to go to "Babel", "Stranger than Fiction" or the special pre-screenings of Michael Moore's new films in progress as I have schedueling conflicts. However, I am intending on seeing D.O.A.P. which is intriguing from an artistic perspective on so many levels, a modern adaptation of MacBeth that is supposed to be awesome and a number of other wicked cool movies. Word.

In other, let's say amusing, news, I decided to take my G1 written test and passed. I then learned that I could take my exit test for my G2 ANY TIME I WANT. All this time I thought that I needed to wait a year before I could take it again, but I can go and do my G2 driving test any time at all. I decided to wait until I've gotten comfortable driving again, as it has been a while. If all goes well I will be a fully liscensed driver again in no time.

That's all for the world of updates. It might be kind of random like this for a little while as I am now bouncing between 2 and half jobs and the Film Festival, but hey it's all good.

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Somedays you just can't get rid of a bomb

I spent the finest $4.99 of my life Sunday. I bought the Batman Movie (Adam West) on DVD. I don't think this requires any further explanation.

Though I should also note that I spent a rather fine $10 or something today as well, on Little Miss Sunshine. This is a must-see. It was so much fun and uplifting without being condescending or sappy. I loved it and laughed and had the most fun I've had at the movies in a little while. Go enjoy it- now! (shaking fist)

Sunday, August 27, 2006


I've been trying for days to make a post about the anniversary of my computer being brought back to life, and of course I've been having problem with my computer getting on the internet. "Oh the ironing!"

Any doodle, my compuversary will have to be delayed, in the mean time, please enjoy a picture of me singing to Nissah at her birthday in January.

I wanted to make it my display picture, but the file name is too big or something.

Friday, August 25, 2006

The Internet is for Porn

One of my new favourite vices is a site called Overheard in New York. Basically it's just a bunch of funny things people hear other people saying in various places, usually with amusing headlines to accompany. Twice a week they run a headline contest, where readers come up with their own amusing title to accompany the quote. This is the headline contest for this week:

Tourist husband: So what is this show about?
Tourist wife: I believe it's like a Muppets story.

--Avenue Q, Golden Theater, W 45th St

Go to Overheard in New York to enter.

I was thinking: "The way South Park is like a Charlie Brown Story"

Thursday, August 24, 2006


I think I might have made this too hard, I added a few lyrics. Also HTML and I don't get along, so it's bolded if you got it right.

1. Shuffle your playlist.
2. Using the first twenty songs, no matter how embarrassing, post a lyric from that song.
3. Have your friends guess the song and artist (WITHOUT use of search engines).
4. Once that song and artist has been guessed, strike it out and beside the lyric place the name of who guessed it followed by the song and the artist.

20. Then she opened up a book of poems and handed it to me, written by an Italian poet from the thirteenth century. Joe

19. I tried my best to leave this all on your machine but the persistent beat it sounded thin upon listening. Andrew

18. I didn't notice but it had got very dark and I was really really out of my mind. Just then a policeman stepped up to me and asked us said, "Please, hey, would we care to all get in line,Get in line." Unguessed: Misty Mountain Hop-Led Zeppelin

17. When i turn ‘round you stay frozen to the spot you had the pointless snide remarks- Joe (nicely done!)

16. But if you dig on vegan food, well, come over to my work I'll have 'em cook you something that you'll really love Andrew

15. Walk around on both legs, fight the scary day, we both pulled the tricks out of our sleeves. Angelo

14. But she doesn't make wishes on them when she wishes, she wishes for less ways to wish for more ways to work toward it Andrew

13. No one dared, no one cared, to tell me where the pretty girls are those demigods
with their nine-inch nails
Unguessed: Precious Things-Tori Amos

12. Made off. Don’t stray. Well, my kind’s your kind, I'll stay the same. Andrew

11. The little thoughts came rushing in while I watched for a sign from him. When all the while was clear as day that I should go and he should stay. Unguessed: Simple Story-Feist

10.Touch your lips just so I know, in your eyes love it glows so- Andrew

9. Is it overwhelming to use a crane to crush a fly? Unguessed: Waitin' for a Superman-Iron and Wine (The Flaming Lips)

8. If they could see us now in leather bras and rubber shorts, like some ridiculous new team uniform for some ridiculous new sport Unguessed: Little Plastic Castle-Ani DiFranco

7. And if you want to find me, I'll be out in the sandbox Joe

6. A whole long lifetime could have been the end. I could be yours so true I would be, I should be through and through. Scott (unofficially)

5. I didn't mean to hurt you, I didn't know what i was doing, but i know what i have done Angelo

4. New bottoms on barstools, the people remain the same, with prices inflating - inflating Unguessed: Movie Script Ending-Death Cab for Cutie

3. Like a fool, I fell in love with you, turned my whole world upside down. Angelo

2. I know I'm a mess that he don't wanna clean up. I got to fold 'cause these hands are too shaky to hold hunger hurts, but starving works, when it costs too much to love. Unguessed: Paperbag-Fiona Apple

1. Yeah well the thing is, what I really mean- yours are the sweetest eyes I've ever seen. Your Song- Ewan McGreggor (from the Moulin Rouge Soundtrack)

Wednesday, August 23, 2006


That should stir up some comments.

In other news:
I picked up a second job which is very cool. I am giving out samples at the LCBO, which should be pretty fun, plus money is becoming an ever more urgent need.

Thankully I also found some economic joy in the form of savings yesterday. I met with a guy to do my headshots who is giving me a great deal on the sitting fee and is letting me keep all of my photos on a disc without copyrighting them, thus allowing me to make as many prints as I want much less expensively.

Secondly I got some cheap buttons. This might not seem like something I actually needed to spend money on, but that's only if you don't know about my recent sad loss. Yoda bit the dust. As pictured in my last post I was crammed body to body with a number of rowdy Shins fans and at some point in the crowd my button reading "Look at me, judge me by my size do you?" came off. Although I can never truly fill my Yoda void I did find a number of very cool buttons for very little money:

The pictures are a little blurry, but they give you the idea. The one next to da cheat is a Talking Heads button. The blurry trampish figure sprawled out with the roller skates is Charlie Chaplin.

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Last time

I promise this is the last Lollapalooza-centred post. I did find this kind of exciting though. I found myself in one of the pictures that the Official Lollapalooza website has up. Or at the very least I made the executive decision about which blob most resembled me and where I was standing.

Actually I was able to identify myself because I was wearing a tanktop with purple and blue bands and I noticed the stripes. I'm done :)

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

How George Lucas stole Christmas

I can only actually reccommend this activity if you have absolutely NOTHING better to do with your time:

The Star Wars Holiday Special Part 1

It comes courtesy of Joe. IMDB trivia from the special:

"* George Lucas famously attempted (and failed) to buy up all master copies of this special to ensure it was never broadcast again.

* This special has never been released on video; however, bootleg home-recorded videos have been circulating for years and are now all over the internet. George Lucas once remarked at an Australian convention that "if I had the time and a sledgehammer, I would track down every bootlegged copy of that program and smash it."

* At least a small portion of the special is considered to be official Star Wars canon. Boba Fett (who is introduced in one of the Special's vignettes), of course, went on to play an important role in Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back (1980) and Star Wars: Episode VI - Return of the Jedi (1983). Also the Wookiee planet of Kashyyyk was featured in Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith (2005).

* WILLHELM SCREAM: This, like every other incarnation of Star Wars, contains a Wilhelm Scream. We hear the scream in question when a storm trooper gets shot off of a balcony by Han Solo in Chewbacca's home."

3 other Reasons it's actually worth watching (at least a little bit, or as much as you can tolerate):

1) The befuddled old man (Art Carney) is obviously a proto-type for Jar Jar Binks
2) Aparently a long time ago in a galaxy far far away people listened to Jefferson Starship
3) The cooking show... um yeah.

Monday, August 14, 2006

"Mmmm pig in a cage" (title by Scott Buchanan)

I got a couple of things accomplished today. It might not seem very impressive, but I'm actually quite pleased. I finally made a list of all of the theatre companies I want to send headshots and resumes to, and a list of the acting schools I would like to attend to "hone my skill" if you will. I also got a few telephone numbers for places where I can get headshots done.

PS: If you didn't see my newest link, do check out Rodeohead. It's like a pig in a cage on antibiotics. Yeehaw.

Friday, August 11, 2006

For more on the subject of rocking out really hard:

Also check out this article from the TO Star about the festival.

Whose idea was it to start shouting that anyways?

Thursday, August 10, 2006


It took me WAY too many tries to get the original post for this right, so I'm not going back in to insert this stuff. Let's call it part the first:




Stephie and Justin


myself (courtesy of This Old Shack)

The Chevy Uplander

and Bunk-mates