Wednesday, August 16, 2006

How George Lucas stole Christmas

I can only actually reccommend this activity if you have absolutely NOTHING better to do with your time:

The Star Wars Holiday Special Part 1

It comes courtesy of Joe. IMDB trivia from the special:

"* George Lucas famously attempted (and failed) to buy up all master copies of this special to ensure it was never broadcast again.

* This special has never been released on video; however, bootleg home-recorded videos have been circulating for years and are now all over the internet. George Lucas once remarked at an Australian convention that "if I had the time and a sledgehammer, I would track down every bootlegged copy of that program and smash it."

* At least a small portion of the special is considered to be official Star Wars canon. Boba Fett (who is introduced in one of the Special's vignettes), of course, went on to play an important role in Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back (1980) and Star Wars: Episode VI - Return of the Jedi (1983). Also the Wookiee planet of Kashyyyk was featured in Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith (2005).

* WILLHELM SCREAM: This, like every other incarnation of Star Wars, contains a Wilhelm Scream. We hear the scream in question when a storm trooper gets shot off of a balcony by Han Solo in Chewbacca's home."

3 other Reasons it's actually worth watching (at least a little bit, or as much as you can tolerate):

1) The befuddled old man (Art Carney) is obviously a proto-type for Jar Jar Binks
2) Aparently a long time ago in a galaxy far far away people listened to Jefferson Starship
3) The cooking show... um yeah.


Andrew J. Root the First said...

"We'll have you celebrating Life Day (?) before you know it!"

"His son, Lumpy" (???)

"With special guest star Beatrice Arthur" (?!?!?!?!?!)

Here's a way to grip your audience: Start your special with a full nine minutes of unitelligable Wookie antics, serving only to illustrate that it's hard to raise a young Wookie in a single Wookie household. Then have Mark Hamill show up.

Strange... if Art Carney "doesn't like being embarassed," what is he doing in this show?

And Darth Vader wants the rebels located? Wow! I did NOT see that coming! What stunning character developement!

Harvey Korman! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Don't show me Chewbacca's wife preparing a Life Day stew; show the family enjoying the Life Day stew in each other's company, and I'll INFER she watched a cooking show earlier!

"Why do I always think taking you home for Life Day is going to be easy?" - Life Day? What the hell is- Ooohhhh, right! The POINT of the special! 25 minutes in, and we're nearing a plot point or message of some type.

"I brought you the proton pack for that.. thingamabob" Thank you, Art, for not pretending you know what's going on. It's quite refreshing.

Should family based holiday specials be preaching AGAINST the use of hallucinogenic "mind evaporators"? Chewie's dad promotes the use of medicinal marijuana!

Grandpa Chewie! This is a FAMILY SHOW! DO NOT BRING OUT THE LIPSTICK! Oh god, she's singing! No! Turn off the mind evaporator! Don't make me get out the newspaper! When is the Imperial garrison going to show up? I'd settle for Garrison Keillor right now!

Why do I get the feeling that C-3P0 is going to have a harder time translating for Art Carney than for Chewie's wife? (Also, "Chewie's wife"? the hell....)

"Wookie-ookies"? Why does everything on this planet have the name "wookie" in it? It's even referred to as "The Wookie Planet"! I hope we never get to the point where we refer to things like that. "Would you like a seat in my human chair?" "Here, have a glass of human water!" "What a lovely human coat you've got on!"

"I feel the same way about you too, pal. And your family." Shouldn't Chewie have hit him for that?

Wait- They're going to land on the "north side" of the PLANET and walk the rest of the way? Why, I bet that'll take them all of five minutes! Maybe ten! Life Day will be ruined! All those Wookie-Ookie's gone to waste!

Darn! I was hoping Mel Brooks would play the Imperial officer.

"Weeeeee-ll you get on with it?" *snicker*

Something tells me that the Imperial guards aren't going to be wavy-gravy with Jefferson Starship.

And Lumpy pouts by putting on his huge space earphones. He's the original emo kid!

And that was only part 1. How long was this special? Oh boo hoo hoo...

Andrew J. Root the First said...

p.s. "Life Day" better be referring to the life of baby Jesus! This is a Christian universe, dammit!

Liz said...

Well, it's probably not Good Friday.

Andrew J. Root the First said...

Oh yeah, and Lumpy looks like Gary Coleman.

Joe said...

Glad you enjoye.. appreciat.... watched it. :-D

I hadn't seen it before I sent the link to you - it was actually worse than even I thought it could be. I'd love to get a copy of the script.

Wookie 1: Growff.
Wookie 2: Roarrrorr.
Wookie 1: Rar Raroooo!
Wookie child: Rararara groowl!

If either of you ever end up inventing some kind of fictional universe, don't give it to the TV executives for a holiday special.

Well.. I'm off to bake a delicious batch of Wookie-cookies.