Thursday, February 26, 2009

They Must Be From Montreal

This exercise requires an image editor like Photoshop...

1 - Go to "wikipedia." Hit “random”
or click
The first random wikipedia article you get is the name of your band.

2 - Go to "Random quotations"
or click
The last four or five words of the very last quote of the page is the title of your first album.

3 - Go to flickr and click on “explore the last seven days”
or click
Third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.

4 - Use photoshop or similar to put it all together.

5 - Post it with this text in the "caption" and TAG the person who tagged you and any friends you want to join in. Also, add an album description if you like*

*Liz's Ammendment: Go to, or any other music reviewing site and get a random review. Stick your band's name and album title into it.

From the Pitchfork Review:


With their constantly evolving sonic identity, in-your-face vocal mannerisms, and open-ended ideas about what their music might "mean," Otto Newman seem designed to inspire obsessive fans and vociferous detractors in equal measure. Men Must Be Affectionate Men, their latest full-length, has been anticipated to an almost ridiculous degree, with blogs and message boards lighting up with each scrap of new information or word of a possible leak.

Although it will be tagged as Otto Newman's "pop" album, Men Must Be Affectionate Men remains drenched in their idiosyncratic sound, a record that no one else could have made. Its songs won't be heard on the radio as Otto Newman's M.O. requires them to exist outside of rigid formats. Nonetheless, they've found a natural way to integrate the sing-along melodies, sticky hooks, and driving percussion that have long been hallmarks of celebratory popular music.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

The Simpson

While a great deal of my creative content has been coming from these days, I felt the need to direct everyone to a recent article there that brilliantly responds to the media frenzy over Jessica Simpson's weight gain.

This largely echoes the sentiment of the excellent South Park episode The List

Is Cracked secretly written by women (yes I know there are female writers for the site, but a large number of these pro-women articles seem to be written by the guys)? Are men able to more easily discuss women's issues without coming across as militant feminists? Are men actually better feminists than women?

Yes I am aware that there are a number of things philosophically and logically wrong with that statement.

Seriously though ladies, could we pick up the ball? And stop going to see movies like Bride Wars? Seriously wtf?

Saturday, February 14, 2009


Elizabeth Dawn Buchanan

2.WITNESS PROTECTION NAME:(mother and fathers middle name):
Marilyn Holeman

3.NASCAR NAME:(first name of your mother's dad, father's dad)
William Don

4.STAR WARS NAME:(the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name):

5.DETECTIVE NAME:(favorite color, favorite animal)
Red Frog

6.SOAP OPERA NAME:(middle name, town where you were born)
Dawn Hamilton

7.SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd fav color, fav drink, add "THE" to the beginning)
The Green Coffee (worst super hero ever)

8.FLY NAME:(first 2 letters of 1st name, last 2 letters of your last name)

9.STREET NAME:(fav ice cream flavor, fav. cookie)
Cotton Candy Peanut Butter

10. PORN NAME: (1st pet's name, street you grew up on)
Daisy King

11.YOUR GANGSTA NAME:(first 3 letters of last name plus izzle)

12.YOUR GOTH NAME:(black, and the name of one of your pets)
Black Mog

13. STRIPPER NAME: (name of your fav perfume/cologne, fav candy)
Old Spice Snickers (best stripper ever)

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Crappy Valentines Day!

While I realize that being bitter and cynical about Valentines Day is not terribly original, that's not going to stop me from stealing "Honest Valentines Day Cards" from my very own daily source of bitter cynicism:

This was the only thing that could cheer me up after reading their 5 Reasons Being Single Sucks Even More Than You Thought. Stupid Cracked.

Monday, February 02, 2009

28 Miles Later

Alright I was struggling...

Night of the Driving Dead?
Shone on the Dead?
Residential-Street Evil?

Who would have thought the Spokesperson for Austin's Public Works would have no sense of humour?

My favourite quote doesn't come until the end:

"What is disturbing, we discovered in our research for this report, is that there are actually websites out there that tell people exactly how to do this."

3 Thoughts:

1) If they were really "taking this seriously" shouldn't they investigate to see where the Zombies came from and where they were going?

2) How do we know it wasn't a terrorist attack?! It was probably those Moonanites again, but our puny earth brains couldn't figure it out.

3) I can't comment on Austin, but I know for a fact that if the "High Winds on the Skyway" sign at the QEW/403 Junction suddenly displayed "Warning Zombies Ahead" no one would drive any faster or slower than they usually do, but it would sure make my day.


Also The Superficial has my favourite quote about the Michael Phelps... ugh... indicent:

"If Michael Phelps wants to pour alcohol into his face, smoke the marijuana like a cigarette and fornicate with various loose women before beating the world's pants off at swimming, shouldn't we as a nation stand behind him? I mean, Christ, if he was anymore American, he'd be out fighting crime with a talking bald eagle for a sidekick. But then how would other nations know we dominate at the breast stroke? You gotta think these things through."