Sunday, March 09, 2008

Why God is like a University Student

Liz says:
What's up? Procrastinating?
Emily says:
god
Liz says:
I think god was a procrastinator too.
Emily says:
oh??
Liz says:
Think about it. On the first day he created the heaven and the earth. Ok that was like opening a new file on word and calling it "Earth: My Essay" and buying some new printer paper
Emily says:
baahahahahahahahahahahaha
Liz says:
Then he created water. That was like, he was sitting at the key board and thought "Hm, I'm thirsty"
Liz says:
It wasn't until the third day that he created dry land. Which is sort of like him thinking "OK, I've got to write something" and just doing a sort of random expose
Emily says:
thats fabulous
Liz says:
At any rate... God dicked around for 4 days before he got anything finished. Day four he's still sitting staring at the computer and then thinks: There isn't enough light in this room. That's the problem. I keep dosing off. So then God made two great lights: the greater to rule the day and the lesser to rule the night.
Liz says:
Finally on the fifth day "God said, Let the waters bring forth abundantly the moving creature that hath life, and fowl that may fly above the earth in the open firmament of heaven." Translation: God got hammered and made up a bunch of crazy shit.
Emily says:
awesome
Liz says:
Finally on the sixth day God thinks "Huh, guess I'd better hunker down and get some work done- it's due tomorrow and I want to go on reading break". And so God made us in his own image. So really it was kind of like cutting and pasting, but changing enough words so that it's not really plagiarized .
Liz says:
And God saw every thing that he had made (self-editing), and, behold, it was very good (settled for about a B+).
Liz says:
The important part is, that then he rested, handed it in and went back to Nintendo Wii.

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