Today something hit stores in Japan that has prompted me to make an important announcement. Following what I assume was the most ridiculous first day game sales in the history of video games Square has announced a "mid-year" release for Final Fantasy Dissidia for the PSP. In the event of my being hit by a truck while playing the Sony PSP please take me off of life support immediately. The reason being that the Sony PSP was designed by God, but more importantly Final Fantasy Dissidia was designed by Cosmos the Godesss of Harmony, to determine which of us humble earthlings could command her army of light warriors to defeat the evil warriors of Chaos. I of course will have reached level 99 before anyone else due to having forgone school, work and my social life, and thus be called on to save the world of Dissidia from Final Fantasy villains.
I will be going to a dimension filled with Final Fantasy characters having a giant battle. It's like Super Smash Brothers Brawl meets the Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny times every Final Fantasy game for the last 21 years.
Will such a story make any goddamned sense? Unlikely.
Will I be in line at EBGames the day the North American official release date is announced? Frankly I'm surprised I'm not there now.
Is it healthy that when I say "the last 21 years" I know that it was actually 21 years ago this day that the first Final Fantasy game was released? Not even a little.
Let's be clear on just how big of a problem this is: I have actually watched the new trailer 3 times tonight.
It's in Japanese.
Not that it will make any more sense in English. Square is rather famous for its Engrish translations being about on par with Zero Wing. Plus the plot of every game since VI has been so convoluted it probably doesn't make any damn sense in Japan either.
"The games are ridiculously overwrought and convoluted emotionally," -Owen Pallett
Still unless every third word is "konnichiwa", "sayonara", or "domo arigato" I'd say I'm pretty much stuck waiting for the North American release.
Such a good idea...
"Mid-year"? Stupid square...