Hot Chocolate and Ifs

There's a cold breeze in my apt, and I can't figure out where it's coming from.
#$%&! it's cold! I'm off to grab some hot chocolate.

In the meantime...

If I were a month I would be: March
If I were a day of the week I would be: Wednesday
If I were a time of day I would be: 1:37 (anyone that gets that reference gets 10000 bonus points)
If I were a planet I would be: Mars ("to get more chocolate bars")
If I were a sea animal I would be: a manitee (I used to sponsor a manitee in Florida)
If I were a direction I would be: east
If I were a piece of furniture I would be: a big comfy chair
If I were a sin I would be: Gluttony (incidently a part I won an award at the Sears drama festival)
If I were an historical figure I would be: Socrates
If I were a liquid I would be: green tea
If I were a tree, I would be: A maple tree. (Go Leafs Go!)
If I were a flower/plant: an orchid
If I were a kind of weather, I would be: right before it rains
If I were a musical instrument, I would be: a xylophone
If I were an animal, I would be: a Lizard
If I were a color, I would be: red
If I were a vegetable, I would be: a brussel sprout
If I were a sound, I would be: a B-min chord on an accoustic guitar
If I were an element, I would be: Germanium. Ask me to tell you about Germanium sometime, using sock puppets.
If I were a car, I would be: a 1964 Ford T-Bird
If I were a song, I would be: "The Rainbow Connection"
If I were a movie, I would be directed by: Terry Gilliam
If I were a book, I would be written by: John Irving
If I were a food, I would be: a strawberry
If I were a place, I would be: Greece
If I were a material, I would be: polyester
If I were a taste, I would be: bitter sweet
If I were a scent, I would be: vanilla
If I were a word, I would be: perplexed
If I were an object, I would be: a garden gnome
If I were a body part I would be: just above the cheek bone in the outer corner of the eye
If I were a facial _expression I would be: amused
If I were a cartoon character I would be: Joan from Clone High
If I were a shape I would be a: square
If I were a number I would be: 14
If I were a disease I would be: a gold rush era disease. Like dysentary