Thursday, June 08, 2006

Stephen feels the news at you

Recent graduate? Follow Stephen's Sound Advice on making the leap into the real world:

1. DO: Move Back Home
Your parents paid for college, the least you can do is reward them with your college educated presence. Show them how enlightened you are by rejecting society’s demands that you get your own place. Plus free food and plenty of time to play Halo.

2. DO: Pad your resume. With a few simple key strokes you can turn your GPA from a 1.4 to a 4.1, that will open some eyes. And that summer job: bus boy at the Olive Garden=Goodwill Embassador to Italy.

3.I have one word for you: PLASTICS. Do sign up for as many credits cards as possible. Then max those suckers out. Society doesn’t consider you a real adult until you’re drowning in debt.

4. Don’t go to Europe to find yourself. Who told you that you were there to begin with? (The rest of this can only be appreciated by watching the video)

5. Before you leave for good streak the quad. After you’ve graduated it’s a felony.

And finally...
6. Don’t graduate.
(Hm, not a bad idea... hello grad school!)

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