Finchy is a Death Eater

Those of us who are fans of the British Office have known it for years.

Ralph Inerson, who plays Chris Finch (the travelling salesman) on The Office (Gervais's), will be playing Amycuss Carrow in the final two Harry Potter movies. If anyone else has seen The Office Christmas special (again UK), and read Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, you'll appreciate that I now have a very clear picture of Professor McGonagall telling Amycuss Carrow to "Fuck Off"

Now I know some people are going to say "Liz, by bringing up his role on The Office, while talking about his newest casting project, you are just encouraging people to see Ralph Inerson as his character and not an actor". Well maybe you aren't saying it, but I still want to weigh in on this particular acting issue.

Personally, if I do ever become a famous actor and I have one particular role follow me around the rest of my life, I will take it as a great accomplishment to have so embodied that part that people are so attached to. Granted I do kind of feel sorry for Mackenzie Crook getting called "Gareth" on the street, but he should know that it's because he's fricken awesome.

I was thinking about this last night as I watched Family Guy. Something I don't make a big habit of doing, but there was nothing else on. James Woods was the guest star, and the plot was that he had taken over Peter's identity (props to Family Guy: they had James Woods say "it's just like that time..." and Peter go into a rage that he was stealing his "cut scene" jokes). The whole time I was listening to James Wood's voice on his animated body being evil...






I'm sure that James Woods does not consider this the pinnacle of his acting career, but it's my favourite thing he's done... possibly apart from being a clerk at the Kwicki Mart.


I love character actors. Even actors who have a great "range" have at least one character that they are often identified with- A recent favourite character of mine has become Dr. House played by the incomparable Hugh Laurie (are you listening David Yates? Rufus Scrimgeour!). Yes, Hugh Laurie is a remarkable actor with a lot of range, but House will probably follow him everywhere from now on. I have a sneaking suspicion that he'll still get work. He's a pretty amazing actor. Plus I want him to look at my charts and figure out what I'm allergic to. I'm sure he can.

Shortly I will be weighing in on the Oscars, and I'm sure the topic of acting will re-surface. The question of whether or not an actor has stretched themselves, created a memorable character, and whether they maintain that character without slipping into THEIR character (*cough Sweeny Sparrow* cough*) always surfaces amongst critics around Oscar season. I am renting Elizabeth this week, and hoping to get out to see There Will be Blood before Sunday. By Saturday I ought to be well versed enough to make a few predictions. Until then!

The Litmus Test of Music-Dickery

The Are You a Music Snob? Quiz
an original quiz by Liz Buchanan

Pick the answer that is the most right for you.


1. When you download music you use:

a) Puretracks <1>
b) iTunes <2>
c) Kazaa, Limewire, or something else free <3>
d) I don't listen to Mp3s, they will never surpass the great sound of vinyl <4>


2. As a musician the highest honour you can recieve is:

a) The Cover of the Rolling Stone <2>
b) The Polaris Prize <3>
c) A Grammy <1>
d) Not getting ripped to shreds by Pitchfork.com <4>

3. Music to you is:

a) What makes life worthwhile <3>
b) Not that important <1>
c) Something you really enjoy <2>
d) The purest expression of the soul through the rythm of the human spirit <4>

4. You rock out to:

a) Angels and Airwaves <4>
b) The White Stripes <3>
c) Greenday <2>
d) Celine Dion <1>

5. The best musical guest star on the Simpsons was:

a) The Smashing Pumpkins <3>
b) George Harrison was pretty cool <2>
c) The Simpsons jumped the shark a long time ago, who even watches that anymore? <4>
d) Starland Vocal Band <1>

6. Your favourite part of Juno was:

a) Haven't seen it <1>
b) When Ellen Page and Michael Cera play quitar at the end. Nice cover. <3>
c) The fact that she named her guitar Roosevelt "not Ted- Franklin. You know, the cute one, with polio." <2>
d) When she rips on Sonic Youth. <4>

7. If you owned a music store it would most likely resemble:

a) A Sunrise Records <2>
b) Empire Records. Damn the man, save the Empire! <3>
c) Rob Gordon's record store in High Fidelity <4>
d) I would just franchise an HMV <1>

8. The most tragic death in modern music history was:

a) John Lennon <2>
b) Kurt Cobain <4>
c) Buddy Holly, Ritchie Valens and the Big Bopper <3>
d) Britney Spear's career <1>

9. Jim Morrison was:

a) Pretty Cool <2>
b) The Greatest Musician Ever <3>
c) Over-rated <4>
d) That guy from the Doors, right? <1>

10. If your all-time favourite band's name describes you, you are a:

a) beetle <1>
b) led zeppelin <3>
c) rolling stone <2>
d) tool <4>


Scores:

(10-15)

Music is defined as the art of arranging sounds in time so as to produce a continuous, unified, and evocative composition, as through melody, harmony, rhythm, and timbre. American popular music is largely traced back to its african and european roots, reflecting both traditional folk music and african beats and syncopation. To learn more about music and it's place in popular american culture buy a fricken radio.

(16-24)
You have your tastes in music and other people have theirs. You are mostly familiar with mainstream music and you enjoy listening to the radio. Nothing wrong with that, but you might enjoy expanding your tastes and developing a broader range of musical choices. You have the good sense to listen to what you like, but not rip on everyone else for disagreeing with you.

(25-34)
You've probably got "good taste in music", whatever the hell that means. You won't just listen to any crap because it's popular, but you aren't going to be an ass about it either. Make sure that music stays fun, and you're as open-minded about pop-music and country as you are about rock. You don't have to like it, you just have to be reasonable.

(35-40)
You're a music snob. It's OK, I kind of am too. But seriously... Angels and Airwaves? Have you seen their new album cover? What a bunch of dicks. That aside- dude, get over it. There's always going to be someone who knows more about music, has more discerning tastes and is a bigger douche than you. I suggest a cleansing. Go put on K-Lite FM for a half an hour and make yourself sing along with "So you had a bad day". Seriously, it'll be therapeutic. Or torture. Either way...


You should consider these results legally binding, as I am a certified Music-personality-ologist.

In the meantime however...

Don't get me wrong, I support the WGA- but you can't write late night TV this great:




PS: I have made it to temporary Word Sandwich glory:

Today´s top five
rank name city score date quickest avg
1 terrio Hayward 13402 2/5/2008 6 10.2
2 Liz Toronto 12582 2/5/2008 7 11.4
3 peter hartford 12396 2/5/2008 10 12.4
4 Vainamoinen Kalevala 12264 2/5/2008 11 12.6
5 smilla seattle 12216 2/5/2008 8 12

indicently not my best score, but my best record of the day... what the hell time is it?

A Call for Submissions

I have decided to have a theme for February's posting here. I am going to examine my own, and other people's influences. This is a look at the things that move me, be they artistically, politically, personally, whatever.

My first project is Words that Move. So I'm giving everyone here 1 week to think of their favourite segment(s) from a book or play that have had an impact on their lives. It can be any book or play regardless of genre, with the exception of a quotionary, as I am doing spoken word later.
I am then compiling them and we shall take a look at themes, sources and overlaps.

Thus please do not be afraid to submit anything from Milton to Munch, Shakespeare to Seuss. No one is judging your literary prowess here, I already know everyone here has a degree/Masters in English and/or reads at an 800th grade level (why else would you be at my blog?- ha ha).

Just show me the passages that make you love this great passtime we call reading.

"The so-called Mysteries have been with us forever. There is not a society on the face of the earth that does not and did not have its own version of what these Mysteries reveal of the Great Spirit, God, the gods and their relationshio to our lives- and our lives to theirs...
In modern times we call such Mysteries art. Our greatest Shamans of the moment are Rodin, Stravinsky (much as I hate his music) and Mann. And what else are they telling us but: go back and look again. In time, these shamans will be replaced by others- but all speaking in a single voice. It was ever thus. But no one ever listens." -Pilgrim, Timothy Findley

Power Thirst

This video from CollegeHumour.com does not require any set up from me. I simply invite you to enjoy:

#5

**** apologies to everyone who tried to read the previous version of this as a spelling nightmare. It was late and I did not double check my sentences for errors and edits ****

I have a new occupant on my list of "freebie list".

By "freebie list" I am of course refering to the Friends episode where they talk about having a list of five celebrities that "you can have sex with and no one can get upset".

It is well known that Ewan McGregor is #1 on my list, but of course who would get upset? He is my boyfriend.

#2 is Jon Stewart, #3 is Matt Stajan (who is as of today a forward on the Toronto Maple Leafs). Recently I added a new number 4 in the person of one Jason Isaacs. If anyone can do campy villain sexier than that... well I guess they can steal his spot.



Tonight I decided on a new #5. Past occupants have included Dave Matthews, Wynton Marsalis, Dave Chapelle, Johnny Depp and that guy that plays Warrick on CSI.

But my new #5 is...


drum roll please






I think that Stephen may be replacing Jon slowly as my comedic crush. Just as Jon once replaced a 1970s Alan Alda who replaced a 1960s Micheal Palin.

Mind you if I do ever perfect that time machine I started in grade 11...



** Also, on a more serious note, read Angelo's blog as he has posted a very nice tribute to Heath Ledger

Phew

Which Office character are you?



You are most like Pam Beesly, the friendly voice of reason in a sometimes chaotic workplace. The bright spots of your day include pulling practical jokes, playing FreeCell on your computer and making people happy by doing extra, unnecessary work.


That quiz could have gone a lot worse.

May the Farce be with You

Strangely, I wonder if his ability to impersonate Frank Oz characters ever made George Lucas consider double casting him as Yoda:

Word of the Day

I need a new home page. I currently have a personalized MSN homepage with links to this web log and Farcebook, as well as a news feed from CBC, TSN and MTV. This is all fine. What I really ought to get rid of is my MSN Encarta word of the day.
I started writing them down when I noticed that the overall difficulty seemed to be decreasing:

hubris
fallacy
charlatan
debase
congenital
catharsis
impertinent
moniker
omniscient

while they are undoubtably very fun words, and I am not calling anyone who does not know their meaning foolish, "Word of the Day" is supposed to specialize in teaching me words that are obscure and out of common usage, the kind that will help me win in Scrabble and look smart when I post. Not words I had to write definitions to in Grade 10 English. Mind you, I should probably try to use "moniker" more often.

Well even if I don't get rid of Encarta I have to do something about my horoscope:

"You may feel like you are walking a young puppy that just does not want to stay still, dear Aries. The puppy is curious and at times rather reckless, as he does not know of the dangers of cars or a twisted leash. You have a great responsibility to teach this dog some lessons while at the same time giving him a bit of free rein to go out and explore on his own. Earn the respect of others by tempering discipline with fun."

I'm going to go ahead and file that under "WTF?"

"Animals Close-Up With a Wide-Angle Lens"

Little Angel Liz on right shoulder: Elizabeth, don't forget, you promised your web log readers that you would post today.

Little Devil Liz on left shoulder: Oh for crying out loud, like anyone's even going to notice.

Little Angel Liz: I'm sure her readers have noticed a slight improvement in her posting of late, and are now holding her to a higher standard of writing.

Little Devil Liz: Oh please, just stick a cute animal picture up and go back to your decaf and Futurama Season II DVD.

Little Angel Liz: I'm sure that Liz would never stoop to something so broad and banal when she's working so hard on improving the quality of her web log.




2 hours later:

Lyrics of the "Is it really THAT late?"

"The New Year" -Death Cab for Cutie

So this is the new year.
And i don't feel any different.
The clanking of crystal
Explosions off in the distance (in the distance).

So this is the new year
And I have no resolutions
For self assigned penance
For problems with easy solutions


Someone feeling a little bitter? Hee hee hee.


Better post tomorrow. I promise. Call it a resolution of improvement on this post.

2007: A final look back (Stolen from Angedrew)

IN THE BEGINNING OF 2007...

Where did you begin 2007?
In Falcon Bridge at Luke D. Norton's

Did you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?
No.

How old were you?
23

What was your outlook on the world?
Meh.

How were you doing at school/your job?
I was mostly bemused to discover that no one at work seemed to notice if I was there or not.

What did you most look forward to?
Getting home at night to watch Simpson DVDs

Did you make New Year's Resolutions?
I'd like to think that the answer is no. Otherwise it bodes very poorly for my stick-to-it-iveness.

What was your biggest worry?
That no one at work seemed to notice whether or not I was there. Exactly how long would I decay at home before anyone worried?

Who was your best friend?
Jenny, Andrew and Steph

What did you do with your spare time?
DVDs, Gameboy, Guitar on occasion

Describe your birthday?
I worked a double, and was then treated to DQ and Charlie Chaplin.

IN THE MIDDLE OF 2007: THE SUMMER!

Did you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?
No. I sense a theme...

Had your outlook on the world changed?
Actually I was a great deal more cheerful

What did you spend your summer doing?
Filming a movie, working at Easter Seals Camp Woodeden, and standing in line for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.

Did you get a tan?
A little.

Who'd you hang out with?
Zach and Yvonne, my family and on a rather notable evening Andrew and a young man who required an endless supply of stories.

Did you go visit anywhere?
Stratford

What was your biggest worry?
Money.

What was the most fun event that happened?
I was so pleasantly surprised my enjoyment of the Simpson's movie I seem to always think of that. I also had a lot of fun at camp.

AND AS THE YEAR DRAWS TO AN END...

Still got a significant other?
Stupid questionaire thingy

How old are you?
24

Any new additions to your family?
Not quite yet. We have a new comer August 2008 marrying in. That's right. Some people actually chose to join!

What music will you remember 2007 by?
The Arcade Fire

Best movie you saw this year?
Fido

What major changes have happened since the year began?
I've been through several jobs, and am now at one that I actually enjoy. I entered and exitted a college program I loathed and I've moved to Toronto.

Is your life any different from when it started this year?
Quite a lot. I am much happier and less anxious. I had a good summer, which helped get me back on track and more serene.

What thing that happened stands out in your mind?
Going back to Woodeden had a very good effect on me, but truthfully the thing that effected me the most was having my best friends all move to Paris.

How have you changed?
I'm a little less ridiculously pessimistic. Mind you ask me how I feel about life next time I'm menstrating and this quiz might look a lot different.

Are you happy with how the year went?
It is the first summer that I have enjoyed in years. The last half of the year went OK I supposed. Meh, like Angelo said: It happened.

FOR 2008...

Do you think it'll be better or worse than this year?
It'll be more interesting.

What do you plan to do next year?
Get out of debt. Ha!!

What are your New Year's resolutions?
To make at least some effort at actually acting.

AND TO WRAP IT UP...

What's one thing would you like to say as the year is done?

I am going to Bonnaro this year, regardless of financial capabilities. Who's with me?

Oh Eight

I have absolutely no doubt that this year will be an eventful one.

My new years resolution is to make a real effort at acting.

I have this amazing job at ErinOak, but I don't get enough hours. It is time to force myself to take acting seriously and try to get work. If only the infamous words of Homer weren't ringing in my ears. "Trying is the first step towards failure".

None the less...

I am also determined to quite playing the hermit. I have been spending too much time brooding alone in my apartment in TO. Good for reading, blogging and general geekdom, very bad for friendships and attracting the opposite sex. Would you believe that most men do not list "Skills at Nintendo Wii" or "Watched Seasons 4-7 of the Simpsons with commentaries on" on their "Attractive Attributes" list? Something about having a good personality and breasts... whatever.

And here's a very special episode of Scrubs:



I heart Scrubs.

Elliot: Can't we just go home, put on our PJs and watch Grey's Anatomy?
JD: I do love that show, it's like they've been watching our lives and put it on TV

That's what Christmas is all about Charlie Brown

This story is reprinted from this weekend's Hamilton Spectator:

Truce 'a short peace in a terrible war'

Mark McNeil
The Hamilton Spectator
(Dec 22, 2007)
It has to be the most moving Christmas story of the past 100 years.

"Beginning Dec. 24, 1914 German and British troops in Belgium laid their weapons down, and crawled out of their trenches to celebrate Christmas with carols, gifts and an impromptu game of soccer in No Man's Land.

And while the story from the First World War is well known -- what is less known is that two letters that describe the historical event are kept at McMaster University's archives.

They were written by a soldier named Gerald Blake who served with the London Rifle Brigade, British Expeditionary Force.

The letters are part of a collection of more than 60 notes he wrote to his mother and brother Clive between November 1914 and June 1916. McMaster acquired the letters as part of a larger purchase of military artifacts decades ago, apparently without knowing about the references to the Christmas truce.

More recently, researchers working on a digitization project took a closer look at the collection to find that Blake participated in the famous temporary armistice.

"It began with the singing of various songs by the Germans who also had a cornet and concertina going. Our fellows cheered each song and the two sides shouted Christmas greetings," Blake wrote in a letter to his brother dated Dec. 27, 1914.

In a letter to his mother, dated Jan. 7, he retells the story and also mentions hearing a German soldier call out "are you as fed up with the war as we are? ... A very quaint proposal was made to us that England and Germany should call it a draw and divide France between them."

Alan Cleaver, a newspaper journalist in Britain, and his partner Lesley Park host an extensive website dedicated to collecting and transcribing letters about the Christmas truce.

Through a network of Internet volunteers, they have transcribed more than 500 letters over the past four years, many of which are included in the book Not a Shot was Fired.

"I think (the story) still strikes a chord with people because it offers hope," Cleaver says. "In a world bedevilled with hatred and war, the story of the Christmas truce offers people with the possibility that one day men might simply lay down their guns, cross no man's land and shake hands."

Yet Gerald Blake is almost matter of fact in his letters. Going from killing to celebrating and back to killing again is an irony that seems lost on him.

As researcher Justina Chong writes about the Blake letters, as part of the digitization project of McMaster archives called Peace and War in the Twentieth Century:

"The peculiar thing about Blake's account of the Christmas truce is that it is inserted so casually, almost dismissively, amongst his detailed reports of other military and naval matters. Why is such a miraculous interlude described in no more than half a paragraph?"

Unfortunately, little else is known about Blake. McMaster has no picture of him. Chong's case study says it's believed he was later captured by Germans and it is unclear what happened to him after that."




Snoopy was certain that this was the end
When the Baron cried out "Merry Christmas, mein friend!"

Christmas bells those Christmas bells
Ringing through the land
Bringing peace to all the world
And good will to man

Finally a musical that makes sense.

After watching Sweeney Todd, I can come to only one conclusion: Across the Universe needed a lot more slashing at people's throats with razors.

Musicals always have the difficulty of being taken seriously, so making a horror story into a musical is the only logical solution. I suddenly have the desire to see Evil Dead the Musical. The film was ridiculous, and musicals are ridiculous. It's kind of the equivilent of "two wrongs make a right".

I was also very impressed by Alan Rickman's singing ability and capacity for creeping the hell out of me. I propose another film make the transition to musical, following the success of The Lion King, Spamalot and Evil Dead. Die Hard the Musical.

Yippie-kay-yay indeed.

Um

There's a brilliant site on the internet that has comic book covers that are well... um. Yep. Um.

There's an entire section on Propoganda in Comic Books that is especially... um.

Firstly I shall link you to God comics. I haven't even begun checking them all out, but I can't imagine I will find anything to top this. It is. Huh. Um...

Mind you there is a more recent comic that I discovered. It's called Liberality. I hope that the ultimate villain is Jon Stewart.

I'm going back to see if anything tops that God Comic. I pray that nothing will.

*******************

And now I've been laughing non-stop for like an hour and a half. The actual inspiration for this site is apparently "Superman is a Dick" a section of comics depicting Superman... well being a dick. There are over a hundred of them. This one however, has a sepcial place in my heart. We finally identified the second shooter. Seriously, check this site out. You'll laugh til it hurts. And believe me it will hurt.

2007 in Review

After reading TIME Magazine's 2007 "lists" I decided to make a quick list of my own.
Favourite movies of 2007, favourite TV episodes, favourite albums, favourite books, favourite plays and favourite days.



MOVIES

#1 Fido
This was not my toughest decision, but it did have some competition. Eastern Promises is my current Oscar favourite, and whatever anyone says I thoroughly enjoyed Pirates of the Carribean III. But Fido stands above the rest simply because I'm making observations about the world around me. I think it's healthy.
Seriously see it. I'm not going to tell you twice.




TV Episodes

#1 The Imaginationland Trilogy of South Park

I know what you're going to say "Cheat!". OK, fine, "Imaginationland III". If you want to know how I feel about Religion, Children's stories, Christmas and Art in general listen to Kyle's speech at the end of this episode. If you're wondering, my other nominees were not just South Park episodes. I was pretty impressed by the CSI "Dead Doll"/"Living Doll" episodes, but I am still mad at the direction of the former. From The Office "Grief Counselling" (pretty sure that was this year), and I am counting the Sir Ian McKellan episode of Extras, since I could not technically have seen it until this year here in Canada. Also high on the list was the episode of the Colbert Report where Jane Fonda is his guest. If you haven't seen it, do so. But watch Fido first.



Album

#1 Neon Bible, the Arcade Fire

A VERY tough call. I also loved Modest Mouse's Before the Ship Even Sank and, of course, The White Stripe's Icky Thump. I suspect that "You Don't Know What Love is, You Just Do as Your Told" is my single of the year, although Feist's "1,2,3,4" is also very good. Neon Bible just has the best obsessive replay value for me. There are several songs dominating my iTunes "Most Played List" the most prominent being "No Cars Go" which seems to cause me to automatically turn the volume up on my car radio no matter how loud it was to begin with.



Books

#1... ok so you've probably guessed that by now...




Yes, I really loved Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. Unlike a lot of critics, I liked it the best of all of the books. Interestingly, and I don't think that this is normally true, the other books that I read this year that are actually new books of 2007 were probably my favourite reads of the year (as opposed to books I read that were published in the past). Douglas Coupland's Gum Theif was not his best book, but I did thoroughly enjoy it and Stephen Colbert's I Am America and So Can You is pretty much awesome in every possible way. I have begun to stick his stickers of approval on my book collection. I am trying my best to find books that really expemplify Stephen's notions of literary excellence (like Catch 22, 1984, Contact, Michael Moore's Stupid White Men, etc.)


Plays

#1 Facebook of Revelations

OK I'll admit it. Second City is not evil. In fact that play was pretty excellent. And it is the first play that I have ever seen that had previews. I just can't wait to see "Safe Bet: The Musical" featuring popular rock songs and a love story. I wish I could say that this had more competitors, but I have seen tragically little theatre this year. The biggest one would be a rendition of Samuel Beckett's Not I, which I saw performed at Stratford, as well as The Merchant of Venice. Apart from that, I must simply see more theatre next year.




after trying to pick a best day I have come to a conclusion:

2007 is the best summer I've had since before I started University. Actually, make that "in recent memory". Between going back to camp, filming the movie with Zach and Yvonne, seeing a bunch of shows at Stratford and seeing several movies (in particular the Simpsons Movie), I'd say the summer may have actually redeemed 2007.

and finally

Best Concert.

Actually there was no real contest there. You Say Party We Say Die. I just wanted to mention how great they were.

Flim Critics

"She doesn't even care about spelling, this blog must be hot!"

This is an exceptionally interesting article from Time Magazine:

Do Film Critics Know Anything?
by Richard Corliss

I sprinted down the corridors of TIME this afternoon, eager to spread the news of the New York Film Critics Circle voting for the year's best films. The winner, in the film, director, screenplay and supporting actor categories? The Coen brothers' No Country for Old Men, which three different people told me they'd been meaning to see. The runner-up, with wins for best actor and cinematographer? There Will Be Blood, an audience-punishing epic that doesn't open for another two weeks. Best actress? Julie Christie, in Away From Her, which earned less than $5 million in its North American release.

I didn't even tell them that the very popular, and very good, Pixar cartoon Ratatouille lost out to a French movie about the troubles in Iran. (Though Persepolis, take my word for it, is funny.) By the time I'd got back to my office I had realized that we critics may give these awards to the winners, but we give them for ourselves. In fact, we're essentially passing notes to one another, admiring our connoisseurship at the risk of ignoring the vast audience that sees movies and the smaller one that reads us.

In the past five days, five groups — the National Board of Review, the Boston Society of Film Critics, the Los Angeles Film Critics Association, the Washington. D.C. Film Critics Association and my crowd, the New Yorkers — have convened to choose the most notable movies and moviemakers. No Country was named best picture in four of the groups, There Will Be Blood in L.A. George Clooney won two best actor awards for playing a lawyer at crisis point in Michael Clayton; Daniel Day-Lewis a pair for his oil mogul in There Will Be Blood; and, in Boston, Frank Langella won the prize for playing an aged novelist in Starting Out in the Evening. Three groups selected Julie Christie as best actress — she's an Alzheimer's patient in the Canadian film Away From Her — and two liked Marion Cotillard as Edith Piaf in La Vie en rose.

You will be forgiven if, like my friends at TIME, you are scratching your head and feigning interest, hoping I'll get quickly to the sexy stuff, like best non-fiction feature (the Iraq docs No End in Sight and Body of War and Michael Moore's Sicko) and distinguished achievement in production design (Jack Fisk, There Will Be Blood, L.A.) . Gee, you're wondering, did The Diving Bell and the Butterfly, the French story of a man totally immobilized by a stroke, beat out the German spy drama The Lives of Others? (Three out of five critics groups say yes.) If you're getting restless, movie lovers, too bad. You'll be hearing the same obscure names at the Golden Globes and on Oscar night.

In animation, Ratatouille won the award outright in Washington and from the National Board of Review. Boston gave the Pixar film a screenplay award, which rarely goes to a cartoon. But in L.A. it shared the L.A. prize with Persepolis, the biographic cartoon from the Iranian exile Marjane Satrapi. And the New York critics rebuffed Ratatouille — and The Simpsons Movie and Bee Movie and Beowulfand other ani-movies people have actually seen — with a first-ballot vote for Persepolis. An art-house film beat out movies that have already grossed nearly $1.5 billion dollars (or about 47 euros) worldwide.

That's the deal with critics' awards. They give prizes to whom they damn well please. No problem with that; it's their gig, and obviously they should pick their favorites. (The choices are fine with me: No Country, Persepolis and No End in Sight are all on my 10 best.) But these laurels factor into publicity campaigns for the Oscars and Golden Globes; often they are the campaigns. It's the way we critics contribute to the art-industrial complex. Our prizes certainly help determine which films get nominated, setting in motion the next round of ballyhoo before the final prizes are handed out. So almost all the nominees will be from worthy obscurities that can't draw much of an audience in the theater or, when the awards shows are aired, on TV.

You might think the highest-rated Oscar telecasts are in years when there's a close contest in the major categories, as with Crash and Brokeback Mountain two years. Nuh-uh. It's the runaway years, when billion-dollar blockbusters like Titanic and The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King get what are essentially People's Choice awards, and its makers wear a path in the rug from their seats to the stage. Moviegoers who are TV viewers don't want horse races; they want coronations — validations that somebody in Hollywood is ready to honor the movies they love.

That won't happen this year. If the Oscars follow the critics' prizes, there won't be a hit film among them — not even the hits that reviewers loved. Disney's megahit comedy Enchanted has the highest rating on Rotten Tomatoes, the critics' polling site, but I barely heard the film mentioned at the New York voting today. Dozens of scribes raved about the smash comedies Knocked Up and Superbad, but neither film has won a critics' prize. The comedy they love now is Juno, which came out last week.

Actually, it's hard to tell which if any of the critical faves will be popular, because most of the big winners (Diving Bell, No Country, Persepolis, Starting Out in the Evening, Sweeney Todd, There Will Be Blood) are November or December releases. Half of them haven't hit the commercial theaters yet. Maybe the critical establishment has A.D.D.

But the Golden Globes and the Oscars, if they follow the critics' lead, will have V.D.D. — viewer deficit disorder. Large numbers of people won't watch shows paying tribute to movies they haven't seen. In the old Golden Age days, most contenders for the top Oscars were popular movies that had a little art. Now they're art films that have a little, very little, popularity. The serious movies Hollywood gives awards to in January and February are precisely the kind it avoids making for most of the year. The Oscars are largely an affirmative action program, where the industry scratches its niche. The show is a conscience soother, but not a crowd pleaser.

And it all starts here, with critics fighting over which hardly seen movie they want to call the best of the year.

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This seems like as good a time as any to reveal some interesting information about Sweeney Todd. Director Tim Burton and Johnny Depp have done several films together, and it is not the least bit surprising to see them at it again. But how was Burton so fortunate to secure such an outstanding supporting cast, featuring Helena Bonham-Carter, Alan Rickman and Timothy Spall? Unless of course he had some sort of special powers...











Sorry. I think it should be clear by now that I really can't help it.

Things I didn't come up with, but am totally impressed by

I will definitely be adding this web log to my links section soon.

My brother has also drawn my attention to:

THE EMO ALPHABET

A is for Alone, and always complaining that you are just that
B is for Bracelets, but any wrist adornment will do
C is for Crying
D is for Dyed black hair
E is for Emotion and exaggerating every one you have
F is for Floorpunch!
G is for Glasses, preferably thick black rims
H is for Heartbreak. Boo hoo.
I is for the Intense pain you feel from your unrequited love
J is for Jilted lover
K is for Kissing, and whining about how you aren't doing it
L is for Labelling yourself
M is for Moodswings
N is for Never having any friends who care about you
O is for Old-man pants
P is for Picked last in gym class, and other cliches of the sort
Q is for Questioning your self worth
R is for Remembering when things were wonderful and then crying about your life now.
S is for Sweaters
T is for Thrift stores
U is for Underdeveloped muscles, because you have to be out of shape to be emo
V is for Veganism
W is for Whining
X is for X-Girlfriends and talking about the pain they bring you
Y is for Your miserable existence
Z is for Zooming with your camera because you're a photographer

Tree Decorating 101

I'm home today with my family and we are decorating the tree... once it meets my standards for straightness and having the rightside facing the right part of the Living Room, that is. Apparently no one wants to decorate the tree with me. Something about me yelling at them if the decorations aren't spaced properly- ridiculous accusations. Although I think it is probably better if I do it myself. SOME people in this famiy don't realize the importance of not having two Santa ornaments next to each other.

Here is a picture of me calmly telling my brother to make sure that longer ornaments be put on branches with more space underneath of them:



Now I want to make it clear that I am not the only person fanatical about Christmas in my house. My Mother has nearly every square inch covered in decorations. She has over 20 boxes of ornaments. This was my Father's expression in Canadian Tire when she approached him with a wreath made of little stuffed snowmen:




Well, back to work. Hope everyone else's first day of Advent is as eventful and fun-filled as mine.