My Dark Night

I managed not to drink and blog last night, which was probably wise.

My camera was out of batteries, so here are two low-res webcam pictures of me fighting crime:






Personally I think that when you dress in costume you should commit to your character, and that's not just because I was a little disappointed that none of the Batmans would flirt with me. Mind you I did get my ass grabbed by the Riddler, so I guess it sort of evens out.


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In other comic book related news:



Yes there's probably a version with bigger print somewhere else online. Consider it your mission Super Friend.

The Air Canada Maple Leafs vs. the Molson Canadiens live tonight on Ford's Hockey Night in Canadian Tire

How could one single news article summarize everything that has come to disillusion me about the sport of hockey that I once loved so much that I cried when the Leafs lost the '93 series to LA?


from tsn.com

NEW YORK - For the third straight year, the Toronto Maple Leafs are the NHL's most valuable team, worth US$448 million.

The Leafs increased in value by nine per cent and easily were valued ahead of the New York Rangers in Forbes' annual rankings. The Rangers are worth $411 million.

Third on the list were the Montreal Canadiens at $334 million, followed by the Stanley Cup champion Detroit Red Wings ($303 million) and the Philadelphia Flyers ($275 million).

But the biggest increase in value was made by the Pittsburgh Penguins, who made the Stanley Cup finals last spring and boast stars Sidney Crosby and Evgeni Malkin. Pittsburgh is worth $195 million, up a whopping 26 per cent.

The next biggest gainers were the Calgary Flames, up 24 per cent to $203 million, and the Minnesota Wild, who improved 21 per cent and are worth $217 million.

The average team value was $220 million; by comparison, the average for NFL teams this season was $1 billion, according to Forbes.

At the bottom of the list were Columbus ($157 million), the New York Islanders ($154 million), and Phoenix ($142 million). The Coyotes were the only team to go down in worth, by three per cent.

Toronto also led the list with $160 million in revenues, followed by Montreal ($139 million) and the Rangers ($137 million).

Ominously, 12 teams showed a negative operating income, including the Flyers (minus $1.8 million), and Boston Bruins (minus $3 million) - both top 10 franchises in total value.

Funny but...

Uh-oh- I can't remember whether or not I've already put this up here. That's a little sad. Ah well. Enjoy (possibly again):

Don't #*$& with Wendy Testiburger!

Watch the new South Park: The Breast Cancer Show Ever

Wendy's excellence in this episode has prompted me to create the following list in recognition of women you do not want to mess with.


Liz's Top 10 Kick Ass Female Characters:

(I have decided not to assign an order. Firstly I kept switching the order so many times it was getting ridiculous. I also did not want any kind of ordering system to take away from the awesomeness of each and every one of these rockin' ladies)

Leela, Futurama


"That's why I've decided to hurt you until you explain it."




Eve, WALL-E






Catwoman, BATMAN RETURNS


"You poor guys, always confusing your pistols with your privates"




Tasha Yar, Star Trek TNG


"Is that the civilized word for 'murder' on this world?"


Wendy Testiburger, South Park


"I'm done."



Princess Leia, Star Wars Episode IV


"I'm surprised you had the courage to take responsibility yourself... the more you tighten your grip Tarkin, the more star systems will slip through your fingers."





Red Fraggle, Fraggle Rock


"What's dragon slaying got to do with violence?"



Molly Weasley, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows


"Not my daughter you bitch!"



Celes Chere, Final Fantasy VI


"I'm a soldier, not some love-starved twit!"



Beatrix Kiddo, Kill Bill


"Wiggle your big toe"

!

I forgot one, but I'm not bumping anyone...



"... you look like a real prince, but Ronald you are a bum!"




Runners up include:

Rogue, X-Men The Animated Series
Goslin, Darkwing Duck
Batgirl, Batman The Animated Series
Schala/Kid, Chrono Trigger/Cross
Seven of Nine, Star Trek Voyager



Now THAT'S girl power.

Fantasy Honky

Alright, so I'm the spelling police too. This one definitely deserved it though.


In my online Hockey Pool there's this idiot whose team name is "Obama is a Terroist"

I couldn't take it any more. I emailed him today:

I don't want to trade with you, I just want to know if "Terroist" is referring to Obama's interest in the environment, or an ability to read Tarot cards that I'm not yet aware of.


Try spell check.


I think I'll defer to Mr. Anti-Anti-War Protester 2003 for this one:






PS: I think my short lived Fantasy Hockey career may be over. I have just recieved an email accusing me of being an "ignorant racist black" (and for the record I only used the word "honky" here on my blog where I assumed people would appreciate that it was meant to be a humourous dig). Still I would like to take this opportunity to deflect any further accusations of racism with the following picture of me and my white friend:




(PPS: I do not have photoshop, and quite frankly that's about how much patience I have with Paint. Anyone who wants to make it suck less, consider it my "Green Screen Challenge".)

Don't blame me, I voted for Kang

Every single election, it seems that there's only one Simpson's quote that can really sum up my feelings:







Le sigh.

Windows into my Thoughts

I've been thinking lately that my brain is a little like a computer with a single-core processor and a tiny hard drive that I try to use like a multi-core processor with a big hard drive. At least I have a lot of random access memory.

I made the following diagram ("I make a lot of graphs"), to illustrate what my brain would be like if it were a computer. This is of course just what it looks like when I'm sitting around drinking coffee or not paying attention in class. When I have other tasks... well that's when I start getting error messages and freezing up.



You can click on it for a larger view, as I'm sure you all want to.

(PS: First person to make USB or other port-related jokes is on time out)

Flow Chart

The last post I had up about Health Care and politics was so boring and depressing. This is depressing, but at least funny:





Don't worry, after the elections, the politicalness of my blog should decrease. Then I can go back to drunken rants and pretty pictures.

Perfect

Hate to admit it...

As a Leafs fan, I haven't had a lot to celebrate in the world of hockey these days. But last year during the playoffs I developed a fondness for another team, the first non-Leaf team I've actually full out yelled at refs for/screamed loudly when they scored since the 97 Red Wings.

So you'll excuse me if I revel for a moment in Pittsburg's defeat of Ottawa.





In a way Toronto wins when Ottawa loses. I mean, not in a way that they actually accumulate points. If that were true I think Toronto would have a good shot at the playoffs this year.

Great Scott

My brother apparently hadn't been following the Canadian election gossip, and when I told him about Stephen Harper's comment about the arts he said the following:

"I'd say according to election turn-outs that most ordinary Canadians don't care about politics"

:D

Maybe we should stop funding politicians! All they do is go to galas funded by tax-payer money and whine about issues no one cares about.

My Jon

From a recent interview with Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert in Entertainment Weekly:


Why do you think some people embraced her (Sarah Palin) as a folk hero?
STEWART: I keep hearing that she's ''like us.'' There's this idea that people who hunt and have ''good'' values are somehow this mythological American; I don't know who ''this'' person is, I've never met them. She is no more typical ''us'' than I am, than Obama is, than McCain is, than Mr. T is. If there is something quintessentially or authentically American about her, I sort of feel like, you know what? You ''good values people'' have had the country for eight years, and done an unbelievably s---ty job. Let's find some bad values people and give them a shot, maybe they'll have a better take on it.


I am seriously in love with this man.





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Angelo posted a response from Margaret Atwood to Stephen Harper with regards to Harper's comments that "ordinary people" didn't care about the arts.

Read it if you haven't yet.

You Watched It, You Can't Un-Watch It

De Niro: It's too bad... the movie had so much potential.
Pacino: But who do you think killed it?
De Niro: There are too many suspects, it could have been anybody... the director, the writer, the production company...
Pacino: Isn't one of us gonna say it?
De Niro: (uncomfortable silence)
Pacino: It coulda been an actor.
De Niro: No way! It wasn't an actor!


Andrew: Maybe we should have seen Dark Knight again after all.
Evan: Maybe?!!

Productive?

Things I did this weekend:

1) Wrote an entire episode for an animated TV show that my brother and I are theoretically producing in our minds
2) Climbed a tree to get a miniature stuffed Rugby ball off of the top branch
3) Burned my bra
4) Sang the entire Flight of the Conchords album a cappella around a camp fire
5) Smoked a cigar (normally I don't like to smoke anything that's legal, but it was free. And you get what you pay for apparently.)
6) Four loads of laundry
7) Watched the SNL Sarah Palin/Hillary Clinton video on my laptop four times
8) Very very little homework.

Well at least I'm back in school mode.

Also

While I'm waxing political.

I tried to get a clip of this for last week. Instead you'll have to do with my transcript and photos.





Kyle: Will you shut up about 9/11?
Cartman: Kyle, why are you so afraid of the truth?
Kyle: Because anyone who thinks 9/11 was a conspiracy is a retard.
Cartman: Oh well, did you know that over one fourth of people in America think that 9/11 was a conspiracy? Are you saying that one fourth of Americans are retards?
Kyle: Yes. I'm saying one fourth of Americans are retards.
Stan: Yeah at least one fourth.
Kyle: Let's take a test sample. There's four of us, you're a retard, that's one fourth.
Cartman: There are so many people who know the truth Kyle...

A Perfect Example

This is a perfect example of what's wrong with Canadian... oh let's say politics period.

From cbc.ca

Harper defends minister who made listeriosis jokes

Conservative Leader Stephen Harper came to the defence of Gerry Ritz on Thursday, a day after his agriculture minister came under fire for making jokes about the listeriosis outbreak that has been linked to the deaths of 17 Canadians.

While campaigning in the strategically vital province of Quebec, Harper called Ritz's comments ''completely inappropriate."

But Harper dismissed pressure from the Liberals for him to apologize personally on behalf of the government and fire Ritz, noting the minister had already offered his unreserved apologies.

"I think he’s been doing a good job on this file and applaud him for apologizing completely and forthrightly," Harper told reporters in Trois-Rivières.

The controversy again forced the Conservatives into damage control mode during their campaign for the Oct. 14 federal election after earlier gaffes by campaign staff threw the Tories off message.

The Canadian Press reported on Wednesday that Ritz made the controversial remarks at an August conference call with scientists, bureaucrats and political staff.

Fretting about the political dangers of the crisis, Ritz reportedly quipped: "This is like a death by a thousand cuts. Or should I say cold cuts."

When told about a new death in Prince Edward Island, Ritz said: "Please tell me it's [Liberal MP] Wayne Easter."

'Shows insensitivity to families'
Harper said Thursday that Ritz "was working very, very hard" at the time he made the comments.

"I think this story is obviously very embarrassing for him, very unfortunate," Harper said.

"But should not detract from the good work that he has done to get on top and understand this matter, to improve the system, and to communicate publicly with Canadians and to make sure that government officials are all doing their job."

Ritz had initially received praise during the crisis last month for immediately returning to Ottawa and handling the federal response, although opposition critics decried Health Minister Tony Clement's decision to remain in Denver for the U.S. Democratic national convention.

Easter, the Liberal agriculture critic, told CBC News Thursday morning that his party called for Ritz's resignation in September over his handling of the outbreak, not for his wisecracking.

Easter also called on Harper to apologize to families who have been affected by listeriosis.

The joke Ritz made about Easter is in keeping with "a pattern of the Harper government in which anyone who disagrees with them is going to be treated with disrespect and attacked," he said.

"But the real terrible point here is that this shows insensitivity to families who lost loved ones and to the seriousness of the issue itself."

etc etc etc....


Firstly, the "real terrible point" is not that this shows insensitivity. The real terrible point is that 17 Canadians are dead, including most recently an infant.Secondly, Stephen Harper is wrong. Gerry Ritz has not done a top job of anything. This crisis has been horribly bungled by the government and exposed a serious weakness in our public health system.

Not surprisingly the Liberals and Conservatives are too busy walking party lines to actually focus on what has gone wrong. People are dead, could we please stop arguing about whether or not it's OK to make classless jokes about it. Why our leaders in government continue to think that they can talk to large groups of people the way that they would to their drinking buddies is totally beyond me, but it really doesn't solve anything if that is all anyone focuses on.

I think in an alternate universe I could really like Jack Layton. He reminds me of the Lorax... all of the best intentions to protect people and look after the environment, but always very angry. I just don't honestly believe that the NDP could work with the Liberals or Conservatives to create the progressive government that Canadians want. They would spend just as much time arguing with the other parties as everyone else over whether or not we want to recognize Vegetarians as having their own culture, or if by meeting with the American President on Monday we will send a better message than if we meet with him on Tuesday.

We live in an incredibly wealthy country, there is no justification for child poverty, inadequet health care funding, homelessness, and an unreasonably inflated cost of post-secondary education. The issues that politians and the media continue to focus on are taking away from the real problems. There is an easy solution to the callous remarks made by Mr. Ritz. Fire him. There is not an easy solution to the Listeriosis outbreak, but I would feel a lot better if I felt like the people that I elected to represent me were worrying about how to improve the food safety system and not whether not it's OK to be an asshole while you're screwing up your job.

Only Once

I really can say without bias that Only (the film my brother was in/PA for) was excellent. It featured two totally outstanding performances, a very well written script and a really touching story.

It did an absolutely lovely job capturing the feeling of being 12 in a small town and feeling isolated and unsure. It's ironic that my Mom (who occasionally has trouble keeping names straight) kept calling it "Once" when talking about us all going to see it. It actually has a very similar effect and (like Once) uses music in a really interesting way to illustrate the friendship of this young boy and girl.

I'll let people know if/when it has a DVD or (fingers crossed) theatrical release.





Back to Peterborough and class tomorrow... today? I can't even tell.

Doesn't matter, because the 3hrs sleep:72hrs was totally worth it to be back at work. Highlight of the weekend: the little guy I was working with and I building a series of ramps for the toy cars we were racing... made out of the clip boards with the charts on them. If those clip boards are for writing care plan information and not for jumping cars off of, I don't want to know about it.

Back Online

I am now online! I've made the great leap into 1995. Did you know that the vast majority of people in my Nursing class were 5 then? They were in grade 6 seven years ago today. That is a generational gap. At least there are quite a few people in my seminar group who are in the 24-30 age range. While I don't dismiss the possibility that I could get along with anyone younger than me, at least I won't be in the awkward position of explaining was OAC means.


As far as anything else goes, I am really enjoying Peterborough, but I am kind of excited to go home this weekend. Besides seeing my brother's film in the film festival, I am back to work! Yesssss :D

I'm a huge nerd.

Read the last line of the article

This article was on cbc.ca and I thought it was amusing. Don't get so angry, or so impressed with yourself that you don't read the last line of the article where the truth (of music 'genre-ing' and this study and these stereotypes) truly lies.


Musical tastes in tune with who you are
CBC News

Fans of heavy metal music are gentle, creative people who are at ease with themselves, which makes them very similar to fans of classical music.

That's the finding of a new study at Scotland's Heriot-Watt University of the link between peoples' personalities and their choice of music.

Adrian North, the professor behind the study, said he was surprised at the similarities between fans of classical music and heavy metal, especially their creativity and generally shy natures.

"The general public has held a stereotype of heavy metal fans being suicidally depressed and of being a danger to themselves and society in general. But they are quite delicate things," he said in an interview with the BBC.

North suggests that music lovers tend to identify with the characteristics of the music itself.

"We think, what we think the answer is, that both types of music, classical and heavy metal, both have something of the spiritual about them — they're very dramatic — a lot happens."

The study of more than 36,000 people from six different countries found that people had more in common with fans of their favourite music in other countries than they had with fellow citizens who preferred different styles of music.

North describes it as a new kind of tribalism, based on musical taste.

"We have always suspected a link between music taste and personality," North said.

"This is the first time that we've been able to look at it in real detail. No one has ever done this on this scale before."

Jazz fans tend to be creative and outgoing, with high self-esteem, in keeping with the innovative and sociable nature of the music.

Country western fans were found to be hard-working, but introverted, fitting with the blue-collar image of country music.

The research concluded soul music lovers are a well-rounded bunch — creative, outgoing, gentle, at ease with themselves and with high self-esteem.

Rap fans are outgoing and far from gentle, while indie music lovers lack both self-esteem and the work ethic. (aha ha ahhahahah damnit)

"Researchers have been showing for decades that fans of rock and rap are rebellious, and that fans of opera are wealthy and well-educated," North said.

He also made a link between income bracket and musical tastes, with more affluent consumers liking more exciting, punchy music while those lower down the pay scale preferring more relaxing sounds.

North said his research might have applications in commercial marketing of music.

Someday...

Someday I will have the internet... right now I'm on at an internet/gaming cafe on Water Street. It's actually a pretty cool place, but given that I get to use the internet for free, I will try to keep this short.

I'll be back... I promise!

New Lappy!

It's me on my new lap top! Yessssss


Behold my now superior computing in all its glory. While this will have no effect on you, the audience of my blog, it will have a tremendous effect on me (and my cheque book).

After discovering that I couldn't use spaces or apostrophes in my computing name I have gone with ProfessorPlum because of it's plum purple colour and Doctorate in semi-sweet fruit.

Huzaah!

III

It's a beautiful Monday afternoon, I am off from work and I am supposed to be packing. I am, however, allotting myself some time to compose this post that has been several months in creation. Normally my writing here is... gosh let's say goofy at best, banal at worst.
This will hopefully raise the bar just a touch.



Two years ago I stopped going to church altogether (apart from Christmas to humour my mother). Now I'd been going less frequently as a general rule because of school and lack of interest for sometime, but I actually finally came to the conclusion two years ago that I was not even comfortable going to church anymore. I decided to get to the bottom of why.

In recent years the Anglican church (the one I was born and raised in) has made great strides: blessing same sex-marriages being a big one in my books, and I am inclined to go and support them for that reason alone. While I've never been a fundamentalist, I've never had any problem with the core teaching of the church: that there is a greater (for lack of a better word) spirit that resides in everything in this world and beyond linking us together as one, and that we should all treat each other as we would like to be treated. "On these two commandments hang all of the laws and the covenants."
I guess I'm not sure, but I don't really think that Jesus was actually a real guy, but I don't think that that's the point (as much as people make it out to be, anyways). The point is the story, and Christ represents someone who stood up against the oppression of the innocent, protected the sick and the poor and healed the wounded, and said not to judge people unless you'd like to get judged yourself.
I think that in the story when He says "I am the way" He doesn't mean, "Believe in me and you'll go to heaven", he means "Do what I'm doing, spread the message of peace and love and look after people who need it". By and large, I think that most Christians probably believe at least that much.

What has happened (takes a deep breath for the plunge) is that for thousands of years people have committed atrocities in the name of God and Christ. People have used the bible to oppress others, to hurt other human beings and to justify their own acts for their own ends.
In recent years we've had a man in the White House and a country full of evangelical Christians touting their political, war mongering agenda in the name of God and Christ. They claim moral superiority and use God as a means to justify their political positioning, bigotry and just about everything from oppression of the weak, to an absolute refusal to take care of the poor and sick. There is a divide in their country and many others between (sorry for the "liberal bias" here)"Right Wing Christian Fundamentalists" and everyone else. "You're either with us or against us", well sorry, but I guess I'm against you, because if God is the way you say "He" is, then I hope I go to hell.

It has gotten to the point that I am uncomfortable saying "praise God" because of all that that seems to imply. I shouldn't feel uncomfortable with the idea of God or Christ or the Holy Spirit, in essence there's nothing about them to make me feel uncomfortable. One of my all time favourite parts of the church service used to be "and he whom the spirit lights give light to the world". It's an absolutely beautiful thought if you think about it... the idea of this light that shines in each one of us with the potential for goodness and love that we can share with the rest of humanity. I am actually getting down right angry that anyone could ruin this for me. And then I had a realization (with a little help from Scott).

III: Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain; for the Lord will not hold him guiltless that taketh his name in vain.

Maybe we've mistook one of the commandments. "Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain". What if saying "God damn it" isn't taking the Lord's name in vain? What if dropping bombs on a country, killing and mutilating its population and then saying that God told you to do it is taking the Lord's name in vain? What if saying "God hates gays" is taking the Lord's name in vain? What if telling people that "if you just pray to Jesus all of your problems will go away" is taking the Lord's name in vain?
I suddenly had a new appreciation for this commandment.


My idea of God, Christ, the Spirit and what that all means is always changing. Maybe some day I'll feel the need to go back to church to reconnect with the history and ritual, but for now I think its best left to books and an attempt to treat other people the way I'd like them to treat me and, if I can, it's time to stop letting the powers that be ruin a perfectly good bit of spirituality that could make me feel deeply connected, instead of divided.

Peace be with you :)

"Are you a fan of joy?"

Totally awesome, but as Andrew said "as opposed to the nights when it's a bad setlist?"

Cat's In The Well

It Ain't Me, Babe

Stuck Inside Of Mobile With The Memphis Blues Again (Close second for favourite)

Girl From The North Country

High Water (for Charlie Patton)

Just Like A Woman (Kind of funky, possibly better than album version)

Rollin' And Tumblin'

Tryin' To Get To Heaven

Highway 61 Revisited (Personal Favourite of the night)

Moonlight

It's Alright, Ma (I'm Only Bleeding) (Point at which I couldn't help wondering if those giant "incense" blowing smoke machines were in fact only that. We were pretty much on the verge of being hot-boxed and as far as I could tell no one around us was lit up)

When the Deal Goes Down

Thunder On The Mountain (Point at which the dude behind had most clearly come to enjoy his LSD and began manic nerdy dancing)

Ain't Talkin'

Like A Rolling Stone

All Along The Watchtower (Just plain brilliant.)


To be fair, he probably could have played All Along the Watchtower on the Kazoo and I would have thought it was brilliant.

OK, I'm having all sort of video problems apparently, so I'll work on fixing them and get back to y'all real soon.

PS: Yes that is his Oscar that you can make out faintly on stage with him.

"He got the Oscar for best original song for the movie Wonder Boys for 'Things Have Changed', and anyone who didn't know that has to move down one seat so that I can get closer to the centre of the stage." - me

Calm Blue Ocean...

Last Friday I came home after a long, agonizing day at work followed by a two hour drive home on the QEW/403.

I might have slightly over-reacted to the news of Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince's release date getting moved to next July.





I'm pretty sure the only poor muggle I tortured into madness was my brother.



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In SLIGHTLY less geeky news, I bought a new computer. I was going to wait until I got it to do my first blog from the new lappy, but it won't ship until September and I can't wait that long.

It is a lap top with a 17" screen. I am calling it Liz's BFC.

Brenda and Brian's Wedding

My Aunt Bev and Uncle John. John has now married/reaffirmed vows for my mother and both of her sisters. Quite frankly I'm pretty sure he would have done his own wedding ceremony to my Aunt Bev if he could have.




You can't really see in this picture, but if you look across the lake you can see Toronto from the shore of Lake Ontario in St Catharines. It was a bit cloudy but the weather held out JUST long enough for us to get family pictures and race inside for the reception.





The ceremony had a traditional celtic theme. That's right, not only did we welcome Brian into our family, we also turned him into a Scotsman!The blancmanges have attacked!
My Aunt is radiant, and (amazingly) in this picture not crying.

Brian and Brenda decided not to have people throw confetti, but to blow bubbles instead when they were pronounced. This of course gave my family the opportunity to play all night.

My brother and father looking less goofy than usual. My Dad has kept up the Scottish/Celtic theme, sporting the Buchanan dress tartan.
My Aunt and now Uncle are off to London, followed by Italy. Brian told me on my way out, "we'll be sure to do EVERYTHING theatry while we're there". I think I gave them exactly the same face as my mother is giving right here:


I am very sad not to have a picture of the toast I gave Brian to welcome him to the family. By which I of course mean the actual physical piece of toast that I gave him that said "Welcome Brian".
I hope no one ate it.


An exerpt from Anam Cara, A Book of Celtic Wisdom

In the Celtic tradition, there is a beautiful understanding of love and friendship. Anam is the Gaelic word for soul, and cara is the word for friend. So anam cara is the word for soul-friend. It is originally referred to as someone to whom you confessed, revealing the hidden intimacies of your life. With the anam cara you could share your innermost self, your mind and your heart. When you had an anam cara, your friendship cut across all convention, morality and category. You were joined in an ancient and eternal way with the "friend of your soul."
The soul is a divine light that flows into you and into your Other. This soul-bond awakens and fosters a deep and special recognition and belonging. In the warmth of the love of a true soul-friend, the soul can be itself. The love is the source, centre and destiny of experience. Real love is not manufactured or achieved by the act of will or intention, but rather as an act of recognition.
In everyone's life there is a great need for an anam cara. In this love you are understood as you are without mask or pretension. Love allows understanding to dawn and understanding is precious. When you are understood, you are at home. Understanding nourishes belonging. When you really feel understood, you feel free to release yourself into the trust and shelter of the other person's soul. May you always be in the gentle nest of belonging with your Anam Cara.

The Source of all Human Suffering

I may have identified the source of all suffering in the world:






I can work with kids, and I think I get kids. I love Robert Munch and Dr. Seuss, Harry Potter, Disney movies and The Muppets- I love kids. I can work with teenage boys. I can talk video games and Star Wars, hockey and The Simpsons. Teenage boys are great. But I can't seem to work with teenage girls. And rather than blame myself or them, I blame High School Musical. And boy bands. And Lasenza Girl. And everything else that reinforces that girls should be more interested in fashion, money, cute boys and being "perfect" than having a real personality.


When I say that I can't relate to 98% of humanity it's because sometimes it feels like 98% of humanity is teenage girls. Look at American Idol, Justin Timberlake, shopping malls, Paris Hilton, Miley Cirus and tabloid news. It's like girls aged 14-18 have taken over the world.

Now I know what you're going to say, "Liz you were a teenager not too long ago, weren't you a girl then too?" Sigh- yes. But I now present the court with two pieces of evidence in my defence:

Grade 11 Drama
JOEL: The girls in this grade all suck.
ME: Hey!
JOEL: Well not you Liz, you don't count.
ME: Thanks... I think.

Grade 12 Math
ME: Sutor, I have to say, you guys are idiots.
SUTOR: Yep.
ME: But as dumb as the guys in this grade are, you are not anywhere near as stupid as the girls in this grade.
SUTOR: Not even close.


I used to be a little offended by Joel's remark about not counting, but as I've grown older I've come to take it as a compliment. I'd rather not count.


Work yesterday
Erin: Look we can sit here and analyze all day why they're acting like this, but let's face it they are teenage girls.
Me: I think it's impressive that they haven't started systematically destroying one another with gossiping.
Amanda: mmmhmmm


My solution: pay one really cool teenage girl to say that she likes independent films, anything on SubPop records and would rather read from the canon than Teen Magazine. Within weeks we should have a considerably more freethinking, interesting bunch of teenagers, within months we might even see some serious improvements of popular culture. Let's make the sheeople effect work for us!

I Don't Wanna Grow Up

Further evidence that I am nowhere near ready to have children: I had to get the following jokes out of my system before the shower I went to today-


seeing "Baby on Board sign in the back of a car in the parking lot-
"I got this 'Baby on Board' sign so that people will stop deliberately ramming into the back of our car"

"If Toys R Us sells toys, shouldn't Babies R Us logically sell babies?"


The guy I lived next door to from 1 to 18 became a father and I went to his baby shower today. On my way to the shower I wondered whether the girl who lived across the street from me growing up was going too, as I saw her mother and father babysitting her two children. At the shower the younger sister of a childhood friend was six months pregnant.

The odd thing for me is that I haven't seen most of these guys in 7 or so years. They are permanently etched in my mind's eye as children/teenagers.


Boy next door:

I just picture him having his kid stand up on a spinning chair in her room and twirling her around until she gets dizzy, falls off and bangs her head on the desk (poor Scott) and he puts a hat on her head and tells her not to tell her mother.


Friend's little sister:

Her child will sleep through the first day of school because even though Mom promised to wake her up she forgot, probably on purpose because it was funny. (Oh don't think I don't know!)


Girl across the street:

I just see their house having bare gardens because their mother has dug up all of the flowers to give to the next door neighbor.

(OK, to be fair the garden destruction thing was a one time incident. I'm just jealous that she picked such great names: Liam and Maya!)


More than anything it's just strange having people I grew up with getting married and having babies. So many babies...

Liz Buchanan and the Incredible Dorkiness

Cool!



"You keep using that word. I do not think that it means what you think it means."

Alas poor Yorrick

I have been trying to write something eloquent about how I feel about The Dark Knight and Heath Ledger. I think that the conversation I had in Stratford (after having seen Stratford's Hamlet and The Dark Knight this weekend) kind of sums up my predominant feeling after the film.


Andrew: Hamlet doesn't have a plan, (in Joker-esque tone) he just does stuff
Me: Oh no... now you've made me sad that we won't ever see Heath Ledger do Hamlet.

Non-Playa Character

If you get that pun you might want to reconsider how much time you spend reading this blog.


OK, I know that most of you secretly hope that I'll lose the power of speech each and every time I talk about Final Fantasy. You may also wonder how in God's name you got to be friends with such a lamer in the first place.

You can at least watch this video and appreciate that I'm not quite THIS lame (or at least you sympathize with the girl and have a much better idea of why I haven't been on a date that's lasted longer than 1:40 in months):

1,2,3,4

At the risk of this web log becoming a watered down version of Transbuddha, I present the greatest thing to hit Sesame Street since the Beetles presented "Letter B":

You had me at "Hello Dolly"

Given how much I talk, you wouldn't think I'd dig silent movies. I'm far from being a buff, but I am a bit of a Charlie Chaplin addict. I also tend to think that less is more with movies (and often theatre, art and music), because it forces you to focus on communicating simply and clearly. By removing one vital element (ie: dialogue) the director is forced to convey the truth of the scene in another way. When it's done effectively it can cut right to the heart of what that scene/movie is about. Hence, why I enjoy silent films.

SOOOOO how psyched was I to see a beautifully animated film where the first 30 minutes or so contained no dialogue?






I really can't say enough good things about Wall-E. The animation was gorgeous and the story was excellent (though, like most people I thought that the allegorical use of 'Buy and Large' as an antagonist was a little rich coming from Disney).

Did I just use two literary terms in one sentence? Grade 10 English was not wasted on me after all!

Back to Wall-E. As for the controversy, which I sort of promised myself I wouldn't go on an angry rant about- I just imagine a certain CNN news commentator, who shall remain nameless, having his studio blown into tiny bits by Eve everytime he talks about the liberal environmentalist agenda of the movie. Funny I thought it had a pro-earth agenda, and I guess I kind of thought that was everybody's agenda.

TGIF

Why do I always eat too much when I go out to dinner?









Incidently: fried bananas covered in liquer with ice cream=awesome.

Stolen from Angelo (with a twist)

Liz's Summer Movie Report Card (so far):

mark out of 10

Iron Man expected: 6.5, actual: 8 (difference +1.5)

Prince Caspian expected: 8, actual: 5.5 (difference -2.5)

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull expected: 7, actual: 7 (difference 0*)

Kung Fu Panda expected: 6, actual: 7 (difference +1)

Get Smart expected: 9, actual: 8 (difference -1)

Wall-E expected: 7.5, actual: 9 (difference +1.5)


Wall-E has definitely been the highlight this summer, though I was pleasantly surprised by both Iron Man and Kung Fu Panda. Don't get me wrong, Get Smart was awesome, but I had very high expectations for it too. There might be a lot of that going on this summer. Not that there are any other movies (possibly opening this week) that have unbelievably high expectations...


The Dark Knight expected: 9

Also have some "want to see"s with medium to low expectations. Yes I go see movies that I think will suck. Nothing lower than a 3, unless I'm dragged kicking and screaming by friends who insist that "Dude Where's My Car?" looks "funny"


Clone Wars expected: 6

Hamlet 2 expected: 4 (maybe?)



Also kind of want to see Towelhead if it makes it to a theatre-near-me.








*Oh and yes. I got EXACTLY what I expected from Indiana Jones. No more, no less.

Rats

Did I just volunteer myself to work 42 hours next week?

Same Bat Time, Same Bat Channel

Well I just happen to think that this is the best trailer for The Dark Knight so far:






Also, in case you're still thinking of taking Batman TOO seriously:




Don't think I'm not still thinking of dressing up in costume at the movie theatre. I just don't want to do it if it'll be cool.